Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Isaiah 6

1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."
4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

Verse 5. That's how I feel. I know that if you keep reading the seraph comes and touches a coal to Isaiah's lips and it removes all of his guilt and atones for his sin, in the same way that Jesus' sacrifice atones for our sin. But for some reason, I feel stuck on verse five. I wake up in the morning feeling as though I am unable to be in the presence of God because I am so overcome with the weight of my sin.
It's a feeling unlike any I've ever experienced. Sometimes I question the sufficiency of God's grace, but I go back to the word and I know that it is sufficient. But for some reason, this is different. I don't feel like my sin is too big for God to erase; I just feel so overwhelmed by the thought of it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I guess the best way that I can articulate this feeling is that I am stuck on verse 5. I know in my heart that verse 6 comes next, and the verses after it... but for some reason, I feel like I'm in the "verse 5 rut."

Monday, December 03, 2007

Immeasurably More...

Laura Jo and I were talking after church today, and we always have the best conversations. Really. We talk about hard stuff, deep stuff, whatever. It's wonderful to have someone like that in my life, who I trust and love and enjoy discussing stuff with.

Today, we talked about InterVarsity some. I talked about how I see so much hurt and pain and brokenness in our chapter right now. And she acknowledged that she sees all of that too, but she reminded me not to discount all the ways in which God is moving in and growing our chapter, and the individuals in it. I've seen amazing growth in individuals this year, and a maturation of the community that exists within our chapter. It's really wonderful. God moves in ways I never thought possible.

I am not discounting the hurt that exists and the need for the body of Christ to surround and care for those who are hurting. But I do not want to ever again lose sight of the amazing ways God is working in our each of our lives, in our chapter, on our campus and in the community.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" -Ephesians 3: 20-21

Immeasurably more than I can imagine! Wow. He is at work within us, around us, through us. How awesome is that?!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

To Write Love On Her Arms

So, Facebook has these things called "Causes." You can support a "cause," recruit people for your "cause," give money, etc etc etc blah blah blah. I resisted supporting a "causes" on facebook because I didn't want to support everything that people kept asking me to support. It's not that I am not worried about breast cancer (in fact, it's affected a lot of people in my life), it's not that I don't support the Deaf Community and Deaf Awareness (I do), but for some reason I felt it would look like I was kind of "halfway" supporting a bunch of different things. I wanted to make sure that if I said I supported something, then I truly did. And that it was something I felt passionate about.
So, when I got an invitation today to support a cause called "To Write Love On Her Arms," I looked at the facebook page, and then at the website, and I realized that this may not be a traditional "cause" but it is something I support and truly want to be a part of.

Here is something from the website:

I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly. We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love.
Take a broken girl...tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true. We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

God has taught me a lot recently about two things: about what it looks like to both be the Body of Christ, but not think you can solve people's problems, and also just what the redemptive power of Christ can do in our lives. As Laura Jo constantly reminds me, we're all beggars showing other hungry people where to find the food. A huge part of being the body of Christ, I'm beginning to realize, isn't solving problems, it's getting messy and being willing to be broken hearted for people. God shows up all the time and He is constantly exceeding my expectations (which is good, because a lot of times I think I have pretty small expectations of such a BIG God... but that's another subject for another post). Anyway, I just really feel like we all go through times in our lives where we feel distant, alone, hopeless and unsure. And we are called to lead those people back, carrying them if necessary and to love them through it all. Because not one of us is worthy of the sacrifice on Calvary, but we are all worth a lot, because we are the precious children of the King.
So, check out the website if you feel so inclined. It's good.