Monday, June 30, 2003

So, I went out on my friend's jet ski today. We had lots of fun, and I even got to drive it REALLY fast! (oh, and yes, I had the day off!!!!) It was nice to spend quality time with my friends. I learned the hard way that you can't think that your friends will ALWAYS be there. I wanted to believe that at first, but after what happened, I realized that I can't waste any time that could be spent with them. (that is a rather depressing thought when you first think it, but soon it just becomes a fact, a reality that you learn to live with.) My friends and even people I don't know mean the world to me. You are what make my life interesting and different every day. I appreciate the time we spend together, the laughs and hardships we share, and the lessons y'all teach me. Well, that is my thought for the day. Don't take people for granted, and ALWAYS take an extra second to tell them you love them and appreciate them----I wish I had done that more with "Diana," but we learn from our mistakes. The idea here is that you learn from mine and don't make the same one.

Have a great summer and call me if you EVER need ANYTHING at all.

Love to all.
God Bless,
LC
So I made lots of new cards today. Each one was time consuming and a couple made me cry. The ones that made me cry were cards that, had I sent to Diana, may have meant that she would still be here. I know what you are thinking, "QUIT DWELLING ON THE PAST." But it is so hard. I am just really down. I have the day off from work tomorrow, which should make me happy, but right now, I wish I was going to be at work. I would be so busy, there would be NO time to think about this stuff. I guess I should snap out of my grief. It is just so hard. I want to cry and not cry all at the same time. I want to cry because she is gone, and she is never coming back. I never get another chance to tell her how awesome she is, or how much I like being her friend. I am happy however, that other people I love are still here. That does not make the grief any less real, or any less painful, but it gives me something to be grateful for. I am still surrounded by people who love me, but it will take time to get through this.

Have a great night and an awesome day tomorrow.

To all of you: You are all special people and I thank you for whatever role you play in my life.

God Bless, and
Much love
LC

Sunday, June 29, 2003

I am very down today, but really I am only longing for a certain friend. She is no longer here, as she decided to take her own life. The pain is indescribable, but I have been comforted by someone special, who has assured me that the pain does go away. "It becomes more and more dull, and then recedes, but it takes time." So at this point, I am waiting for the time to pass. I am so sad, but I know that she would not want me to be, which makes it even harder. I just keep asking why? Why. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . how could I have let this happen? Why? Why? Why?
Sorry if I am depressing you all. Somedays, I hardly think about it, which is terrible to say, but other days, it is ALL I think about. It is tearing me up inside. (If you are clueless, scroll down and read the story that I wrote about her. It is called "Frozen Blue Berries.")

Now, onto something less depressing. Hmmmmm. . . . . . . . . .Well, let's see. . . . . . . . You know what I really enjoy doing? (don't laugh at me) When my mom and sister and I go out to eat at Applebees or Rockola or somewhere like that, we always sit in a booth. My mom and sister sit next to each other, and I sit opposite both of them. So, a familiar song comes on, and guess what!?!? I start dancing in the booth and singing the song. My sister is so embarassed to be sitting at the same table with me. She is always loudly whispering, "Lindsay! STOP IT! You're embarassing ME and I'm sure you are embarassing youself!" Heck no!I like to dance and be goofy. I have been dancing since I was two, and I have been acting goofy even longer! That is just me, but I think to a cetain extent, people admire you when you stop caring what other people think, and just have a good time. Cause. . ."All I wanna do is have some fun. I gotta feeling I'm not the only one." Hehehe. Yes, I am weird, but I am proud to be weird. My friend "Dianna" and I always did stuff like that together in public! We had the greatest times. Like one day, we were at some restaurant or something, and Diana says to the waiter (we are like 12 at the time), "Are you single? I mean, are you available? Because my friend right here is totally interested!" The waiter laughed, and said that we had made his day. I think that was a time when being silly paid off for more than the person being silly. We had made his day a little brighter by joking around and being ourselves. So, one day I am on a distance run with my coach and friend Cati, and we're having a great time until we arrive at school (1/2 way through the run) and it starts POURING rain! Well, we wait inside for a few minutes and it dies down, so we continue our run. For them, that is a normal rest of the run, but for me. . .well let's just say, I loved the fact that our drainage system had left LOTS of puddles along the route. So my new game becomes, run run run, jump, land with feet together in a puddle. I think that i actually got the two of them wet at one point. But hey. It was so much fun. Being goofy is the greatest. I highly recommend it. Love to all, and hope that I un-depressed you.


God Bless,
LC

Saturday, June 28, 2003

So, it is 11:02, and I am not the least bit sleepy. I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night. The night before, I got about 2 hours, and the night before that I got three hours. Four nights ago, I got only 2 hours of sleep, and the night before that, I got only an hour and a half of sleep. So, you'd think by now I would be exhausted and ready to sleep soundly. But no. I am not sleepy and I have had no caffeine today. I have tried everything I can think of to get to sleep: hot shower, cold shower, hot bath, cold bath, warm milk, hot tea, lights on, lights off, excersising right before bed, no physical activity other than walking at all, no dogs in the room when i go to bed, all 4 dogs in the room, low music, loud music, sleeping on my back, my side, my stomach. I have watched lots of tv before bed, used the computer, or done neither thing. I have slept with stuffed animals of all shapes sizes and colors, and have even taken my old blanky out of the closet and tried sleeping with it. NOTHING WORKS. It seems as though nothing I do will ever let me sleep, and it looks like it may be forever before I get a decent amount of sleep. Oh well. Any ideas are SO WELCOME. Maybe its related to emotional stuff? I don't know. I am not doctor or therapist or anything. I am just a kid who cannot sleep. Oh well. If you have any ideas (as i have previously been advised that pills are NOT good to take just to induce sleep.) please tell me. (hey if you come up with the winning combination, I may pay you-----:)-----)

I don't know why I am going to quit bloggin right now. I have nothing else to do.

Well, good bye.

God Bless,
LC


"Beloved, Let us love one another. For love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God for God IS love." -1 John 4:7-8
I went running. Running is good when you want to think about stuff. I make a lot of big decisions on runs. Anyway, I went running tonight. I went upstairs, put on my running clothes, my socks and my shoes, and stretched. I stepped outside and apparently that was the same second that the bottom of the sky fell out. Rain comes pelting down. It is a terrential downpour, literally, like one you see only in the movies. But, I can't go back inside for two reasons. One, I have sooooo much to ponder and think about, and I need to run to really process everything that has happened. Two, I am way too egocentric to EVER back down from a run; it could be snowing and I would definitely still go. So, being the crazy kid that I am, I begin my run. At first I thought that today would be a normal 5 mile run, but decided that I would much rather do a hill run workout. Hill runs consist of exactly what they sound like: run up a hill, down a hill, up another hill, down another hill. The idea is to build strength for cross country courses, I think. Anyways, So I am running along the sidewalk, on my way to a really good place for hill runs, when a car comes speeding up behind me. Of course I am sure they think I am crazy for running in this mess, but I never imagined that they would do what they did. They swerve so their wheels are next to the curb, and then they rev their engine and speed by. Water goes everywhere!---no not everywhere, just all over me. So now, I am soaking, not just wet, soaking and muddy, not to mention cold. So I continue running, when another car full of guys speeds by. "Ow Ow Ow," then a horn honk, "Oh yeah!" Excuse me, I don't see them running in the rain. Oh well. I am tired. I got zero sleep at the beach, and I am exhausted. I am going to end my blog now because I have nothing more to write.

Love to everyone.

God Bless,
LC
So, it is saturday and guess what! I am back from the beach. The idea was for me to get away from everything, and especially to get some sleep. But I was still not able to fall asleep until at least 4 in the morning. I give up. So we came back. I was taking a looooonnnngg walk with my mom and we saw a lot of guys out running. As the first one ran by, my mom said, after he was barely out of earshot, "Wasn't he cute????" I told her honestly, "I didn't even look at his face, I was paying attention to how fast he was running, and to his form." My mother laughed at me and told me I was the first teenage girl, and the only, she had and ever would know who looked first at a guy's running form and speed and THEN at his looks. Oh well, I am weird.
Okay so now another story.........
I was out shopping to buy my friend a present and I was up at the counter paying for it, when the lady said, "Are you in midda sku (middle school), darlin'?" And I said, "No ma'am, I am going into the tenth grade at Raleigh Charter High School."
"Lord have mercy," She said. "With that baby face, I neva woulda guessed."

I DO NOT HAVE A BABY FACE. I AM FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. someone, please tell me I don't have a baby face.

Oh well. Has anyone ever stood beside the ocean and thought about how small we all actually are?

Oh, I went running on the beach. It was soooo pretty, but I made a HUGE mistake. I ran without shoes on, on the sand. Anyways, I hope all of you have had a nice weekend, and I did; it is a very serene place and it offered much comfort to me.

God Bless,
L.C.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

I am at the beach, but I will be back on Sunday! Later days.

"No winter lasts forever; No spring skips its turn."


God bless
LC
To everyone: Love, live and learn. Don't hesitate to jump off the high dive; go for it. You can't learn to swim until you jump into the water!
It is early morning. I am not tired, and if I am, I haven't noticed yet. I am still slightly chilled, but I am feeling tons better. Two very special people talked to me tonight and told me jokes and stories that made me laugh. (thanks you guys!) Alright, time to do shout-outs.

To Mark: Ice cream is good, and coffee is okay, but I personally like it black. I like being your "little friend the socialist." And I will always read your blog, even if only to other people do, and even if one of those two people is the author of the blog! Do fish really bite? I mean I know some do, but pet fish, do they bite? And I'm still skeptical about the 40 miles. Our im conversations are fun, esp when they last past 1 am. What would I do without them?

To Cameron: Hey girl. Don't let other kids call you shorty. Who cares what they think? You are the coolest rising 8th grader I know. Superman, coconuts! Yay for us. You may be younger than I am, but you are wise beyond your years! Keep drawing and talking to me because your stories are kinda weird, but fun to listen to. I love ya girly, always know that. You are a special person to me.

To Super Sam: Yay for super-sam. You like chicken; chicken is good, cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck. Keep running and being a basketball star. Good luck at your tournament this weekend. You will be awesome, I know it. We still have to get matching outfits! And keep making cards. I have made a few good ones. Now, all I have to do is sell them. LOL. Be happy, and I love ya girl. Always know that.

To the one who calls me goober: Tell PMF not to steal Pepper. And Mr. R will come along soon enough, but in the meantime, I shall keep my eyes pealed! Have a great weekend and don't forget to put the picture of CA on your desktop! Hehehe. Thanks for all the laughs. You rock!

Frozen blue berries are just a fruit. They cannot heal pain. But YOU can.

God Bless,
Lindsay Caroline

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

So I think now, I would like to share with you a story I wrote. It is non fiction but the names have been changed to protect the people in the story. The title is "Frozen Blue Berries," and htis story will likely explain some of my past blogs. It is hard for me to share it because it hurts so much, but I hope that maybe you can glean something from it.


Frozen Blue Berries

“Knock knock,” Diana said to me.
“Who’s there?” I asked, grinning.
“Orange,” came the response.
“Orange who,” I asked, already knowing the answer. This had been our favorite knock-knock joke for the last five years.
“Orange you glad we’re friends?” Diana said as we both broke into fits of uncontrollable laughter. We rolled around on the picnic blanked, unable to stop laughing.
Diana and I had been friends since preschool. At age four, we were in the same dance class, and at five, we played on the same soccer team. We became inseparable. Our backgrounds and lives were different, but when you are a child, you don’t notice things like that. She came from a wealthy, well-to-do family. The only child of a banker and a surgeon, Diana was pampered most of her life. I was the first of two children, born to two lawyers who were classified as middle-class. She liked dresses and fancy shoes, but I like long t-shirts and soccer shorts and baseball caps. But the thing is, we got along perfectly.
We lived only two miles from each other, and attended the same elementary school. We both began gymnastics and t-ball at age six, and somehow managed to find our way onto the same team.
“I am super glad you are my friend,” I told her. I lay back on the blanket, with my hands under my head, looking up at the blue sky.
“Me, too,” she said, sighing a very contented sigh. “Look,” she said pointing up at a cloud. “It’s me and you, holding hands!” I smiled. There was something about Diana that you couldn’t help but love.
__________________________________________________________________________

Looking back on it, that’s the way it had always been. People were drawn to Diana. There was something about her that drew people to her. She was always smiling and laughing. She was a very easy-going kid who was always happy. When the two of us would go to the park together, she would make sure no kid in the park was playing alone. If there was a child playing alone, she would go over and invite them to play with us. She had a compassionate side to her that was always showing, a side of her that developed very early on. She said to me once, “If I wished on all the stars in the sky, I would never be so lucky as to be granted a friend as great as you.”
One day, when we were eight years old, as we were eating frozen blue berries, Diana said something I will never forget. “You know, I think frozen blue berries can solve every problem!” Diana smiled. Her dog had been run over earlier that morning, and through her grief, she managed to smile. And that got us through many hard times. If I scraped my knee, Diana would bring me frozen blue berries. When she got pneumonia, I brought frozen blue berries to her house for her. At sleep overs, the midnight snack was always frozen blue berries. When her first boyfriend broke up with her, we ate frozen blueberries and talked until the sun came up. She was very sad, but by morning I had her laughing. It seemed as though she had been right that summer day. Frozen blue berries appeared to be able to solve everything!

But, seven years later, one morning, I received a phone call. It was Diana’s mother. “Diana killed herself yesterday. I am sorry to have to tell you but the note she left said for me to call you immediately. It is one day late, but I didn’t have the courage or strength to tell you. Her father and I have decided that the funeral will be privately held, and will be for family only. I am sorry to do that to you, but I just don’t think we can handle people outside the family right now.”
“I understand. And I am very sorry. Let me know what I can do,” I managed to choke out. But the truth was, I didn’t know how I would get through the rest of my life without Diana.
Later that afternoon, I was at my computer, typing and eating frozen blue berries. I immed a friend. I told her what had happened, and she told me not to beat myself up over it because there is nothing I could have done. “But I should have been able to stop it,” I said. “I was talking to her online, and she was acting pretty silly, and then just as she got all serious, my mom told me we had to leave or we were going to be late for dance. I told her I had to go, but that I would talk to her later. So, had I been able to give her three more minutes would it have changed anything? I will have to live my life wondering.” My friend explained that when people are that upset, that there is little others can do, that only the people themselves can fix what is wrong. Tears rolled down my eyes, and I wondered how I was ever going to live without her smile and laughter. I picked up a frozen blue berry and popped it in my mouth. Ugh. It was a sour one. I tried another one. This one was sweet, but not sweet enough to take away the pain. For the first time, I realized that frozen blue berries couldn’t solve my problems. They never had. It was the love of Diana that got me through. And now, with her gone, I would have to find the strength within myself to make everything okay again.
I got this on email, and I wanted to share it with you:

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in someway.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just
like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like
you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you
most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably
won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you
will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude
remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better
when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are
great.

This definitely brightened my day, and I hope it does the same for you.

God bless,
L.C.
So, I don't know quite what to write. Since the lst time I posted, I had dance, and I ran about 5 miles. I feel almost numb, so emotionally empty, completely drained of all feeling. I don't know if this is normal, considering what has happened, but it may be.

In other news, my sun burn has blistered over. It hurts sooooo badly. I have all these little whitish-clear puffy blisters on my shoulders and around my neck line. It looks like I am developing fish scales. It is really rather disgusting and quite painful. And I am afraid that (if and) when I sleep tonight, that the pressure of tossing and turning will simply open the blisters and release what is inside. (Ewwww yuck!!!!) Oh, and my experience from track is that you should use a needle to pop the blister, but how do you pop all of them? THere are soooo many!

Well, I will write more later.
Remember how unique and special you are to this world!

God Bless,
L.C.
Well, I had driver's ed. My teacher said I did very well. I want to run before dance, but because of code red, I'm not sure it would be a good idea. My fever has gone down to just over normal; IBU profin is the most wonderful invention, and I owe being allowed to go to dance to it because it lowered my fever. I am leaving for the beach again tomorrow. I wrote a story about what made me so sad yesterday. It helped me a lot to get it all down on paper.

"If you see the moon rising gently on the field.
If the wind blows softly on your face
If the sunset lingers while catherdral bells peal,
and the moon has risen to her place. . .

You can thank the Father for the things that He has done
and thank Him for the things He's yet to do.
And if you find a love that's tender,
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord, He's been doubly good to you.

If you look in the mirror at the end of a hard day
and you know in your heart you have not lied;
If you gave love freely, if you earned and honest wage
And if you've got Jesus by your side. . .

You can thank the Father for the things that He has done
and thank Him for the things He's yet to do.
And if you find a love that's tender,
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord, He's been doubly good to you." (Amy Grant, "Doubly Good to You")


"Sing like no one's listening. Dance like no one's watching. Work like you don't need the money. Live like there won't be a tomorrow, and love like you've never been hurt." -Unknown

Now for my advice:
"Don't ever think that you'll get another chance to tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell them when you see them, while you are with them, when you say goodbye, and before you go to bed. There may not ever be another chance for you to tell them, so tell them now."

I hope you all have a splendid day and a great rest of the week. I will probably not talk to most of you until after I get back on Sunday. If you need anything this weekend (anything at all) I should have the cell with me, and its free of roaming restrictions, so please don't hesitate to call.

Now, to heed my own advice:

To Super Sam: I love you girl. Keep running, Keep smiling and laughing and being yourself. You are such an inspiration to me! Love you tons and tons!

To Mark: Thanks for your ongoing encouragment and constant jokes that keep me laughing.

To the one who calls me Goober: keep laughing and goofing off. You make everyone around you smile and that is a unique gift! Thanks for always listening and caring no matter what!

I don't think anyone else reads this, but to the rest of you: Whether I know you personally or not, have a great summer. You are an individual part of this world, and without you, the world wouldn't be the same. (yes maybe that sounds sappy, but it is true.) Live your life the best way you know how, and love others (and love YOURSELF too, because you are so worth it.)

I will be back from the beach on Sunday, so until I talk to you again. SMILE! (because that just seems to make everything okay --- even if frozen blue berries can't, one of you knows what i am talking about.)

God Bless,
L.C.
It is evelen in the morning. I got about four hours of sleep because I just couldn't sleep. Ok, we are renaming the movie of my life, "Sleepless in North Carolina." And now, I am sitting at my computer in flannel pajams with two jackets on, two pairs of socks and my teeth are still chattering. Trouble is, I know that the temp in my house is about 75 or so, so there is no reason for the chills. It was a long day yesterday and a long night. I am supposed to have driver's ed today, but maybe I am too sick to go........oh well. my fever has gone down just a little. Dude, I can't stop shivering! brrrr. Lat night, I used a comforter, two quilts and a sleeping bag and I curled up in a little ball trying to get warm. I still shivered the ENTIRE NIGHT! Oh well. I need to go clean house because someone has to do it.
If you need anything, call, please don't hesitate to call.

God bless,
L.C.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

This is a super-cool song, and after some hard stuff, I am finding that it helps tremendously. I believe in God, but sometimes, I am not sure how to tell Him how hurt I am and I like this song because it makes it simpler. Psalms says that God knows our hearts and He knows what we're gonna pray about before we even pray! That's really cool, so it helps to know that I don't have to be able to put into words what is painful in my life. He already knows. This song is called "La La," and the places where I have written a lond string of la's are actually a part of the song. It made me feel better today, and I hope you like it too. (remember, if any of you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to call. i want to be here for all of you.)


If a pictures worth a thousand words,
What are they?
And since Your Spirit intercedes for me,
What do you hear when I pray?
Cause I'm finding hard to find the words
To let you know how my heart can hurt.
So I'll sing a tune and let you fill in the words:

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

It's comforting to know my words aren't
all you hear
Cause I can talk to you with laughter
and I can talk to you in tears.
And I don't have to know just what to say
For you to hear me when I pray,
So I'll sing a part
and let you read my heart.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Cause I'm finding it hard to find the words
to let you know how my heart can hurt
So I'll sing a tune and let you fill the words.

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la


It has been a very hard day, but there is tomorrow to anticipate. Love to you all.

God bless (and call if you need anything at all)
L.C.
So, I have chills right now and am attempting to warm up. I have on 2 shirts, a sweatshirt, and long pants and two pairs of socks. And you know what? It is 90 degrees outside. I wanna be running but I doubt it is a good idea seeing that I am running a fever. My stomach hurts but I have decided that saltines and crackers are probably not sufficient, so I am going to have a little soup for dinner. Probably plain noodle soup, as I am trying to be more vegetarian than just not eating red meat. I want to eat NO MEAT whatsoever, but as of right now, I am only avoiding red meat. I talked to someone today and they made me feel a lot better about what happened. It made, as I told them, "a world of difference." It is nice to know people care, that they always have cared and then that they promise to always care. WOW! So much bad stuff, and yet I am so richly blessed! Well, I hafta go check on the soup, and maybe standing next to a hot stove will warm me up.

God Bless,
LC
(and if you need ANYTHING at all, please call. nothing is too small if it is a need or a want or whatever. from just wanting to chat or whatever to needing help with something----i was gonna say homework, but we're not in school---please call if you need anything i am here for you guys, always.)
Alright, new post.

So anyways, no one is online and if they are, they are idle or away. Dude! This is boring. I never get sick. And here I am during summer vacation, running a fever that even IBU profin cannot bring down. My diet as of 8 am: saltines and giner ale.
LC
Alright, so after I tried to fall asleep in my bed three times, I tried my trundle. No luck. Then I tried my sister's bunk beds, but ugh they are uncomfortable. Then I tried our living room couch, but sleep didn't come there. Then I tried our den couch, and I thought it would work until my 45 lb enlgish setter, my 9 lb yorkie, and my 90 lb golden retreiver decided it would be fun to share the couch with me. Then I finally went upstairs and took my quilt and pillow off my bed and put them on the floor in our den. I lay down, and after about 1.5 hours, I was asleep, but by then I had only 3 hours to sleep until I had to get up.

And now I am running a fever of 102 degrees, and it is just as well that I can't go to work because something happened that would warrant a couple days off anyway. It made me very sad, and I can't figure out where I went wrong to let this happen. :( Now I sound like I am writing in a diary.

I will stop blogging for now. But maybe I will write again later. Sleep is needed.

LC
It is 1:16 am, and I am not in the least bit sleepy which is surprising. I have gone to bed four times now, and gotten up each time because I simply cannot sleep. Insomnia is not good when you must work 9 hours tomorrow, (or I guess it is "today") and then dance for three hours.

In response to my last blog, life hurts, but I doubt it can get too much worse from here. But to all of you out there who care, thank you. You mean the world to me, and when others let me down, thank you for showing me what it means to be there for someone, through EVERYTHING!

Well I guess I will go, but probably I will just work on making cards. Sleep is not coming easily tonight, which I'm sure I will pay for tomorrow.

But to everyone (which isn't a lot of folks) have a great day today, and smile your way through life (it's the best way!)


LC

Monday, June 23, 2003

Alright, so what to write??????
I went to WakeMed today because my mom's friend just had her 2nd daughter but the baby was 2 months early! She is in the Neonatal ICU, and is hooked up to all these wires and stuff (3 lb., 1 oz.) and is REALLY tiny. She is very cute though. It has not started out to be a great week, but oh well. It's all good, I suppose. Maybe I will write more about that later, but for now, some other stuffs.

Why do people make comments about issues they know are sensitive to you????? (and if you know that they know that and you know that you shouldn't let it get under your skin, why do we still let it?) It is so frustrating.

Clogging dance is looking really good. It is a solo, so I hopefully can compete it next year at the competitions. At nationals, we got 2 golds, and 2 high silvers, and 2 silvers! Yay!

Been thinking a lot about school lately, and what it will be like to go back. I am very worried about next year. I had a very hard first year; and lots of stuff happened that never should have that I wish I could reverse, (surprise that none of it was acutally school related, just happened to take place at school) but you can't change the past; you can only look ahead and make the future the best it can possibly be.

Sorry I am skipping from one subject to the next. Very confusing I am sure, so I apologize.

But anyways, the last week has been so extremely hard, and I am so bogged down, but I don't want other people to worry, so I am trying to hide it. It really hurts, what happened, but there is no reason for anyone else to hurt too. So much happened that I am just so emotionally tired.

By the way, the posts that you see have times listed by them. the times are way earlier (about 3 hours) than when they were actually posted, so if it looks like i am going to bed at 7, it is actually 10.

Bye for now,
Smile, even when it hurts like hell.

LC
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Giddy and silly the whole day through,
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?

A horse and a flea and the three blind mice
sat on a curbstone shooting dice.
The horse, he slipped and fell on the flee.
"Whoo," said the flea, "There's a horsee on me!"

Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Giddy and silly the whole day through,
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?

Way down south where banannas grow,
A grasshopper stepped on an elephants toe
The elephant cried with tears in his eyes,
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Giddy and silly the whole day through,
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?

Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?
Giddy and silly the whole day through,
Boom Boom ain't it great to be crazy?

YAY for crazy, silly and giddy people. You make me happy.


L.C.
So......in order to make Goober Cards become


[drum roll please]

GOOBER CARDS INC.

I have discovered that I must be at least 18 (dude, i can't incorporate or run the Disney marathon b/c I am under 18. voting I can understand, but really.....this irks me!), and that I must pay the state (now why would i want to do that?), and I must have some random person thing to handle something. you can tell that this all makes TONS of SENSE to me, at 15 years old. anyways, there are EXACTLY 6 months until my birthday as of today! YAY!

Well, if you wanna be the person I can use who is over 18, contact me. I really want this company to be incorportated;
Goober Cards Inc sounds a trillion times better than just goober cards.

Lindsay Caroline

Sunday, June 22, 2003

SOLD THE FIRST CARD FROM


GOOBER CARDS! :)

YAY. FIRST CARD SOLD! WE ARE SOOOO EXCITED! YAY! HOORAY! (can you tell I am ecstatic????)


LC
So, SUNBURN. Note to self: Coppertone Sport Sunscreen DOES NOT WORK!. Anyways, had lots of fun at the beach. I was with three friends, all of whom I convinced to run with me. HEHEHE. Played in the ocean. The coolest thing ever! Got bad sunburn, but it should go away. . .Right?
We watched "Hot Chick" and "Just Married" and sung Sweet Home Alabama and the Sponge Bob theme song!

"I'm allowed to change my mind because I'm a woman!" -my friend while we were at the beach


I will write more later. I am hungry, and have decided that since my body is telling me it needs food, then I shall listen.


That's all until later.

Love to all.
God bless,
Lindsay Caroline

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Hey. Well, let's see, there were 71 raisins in my cereal this morning, and Maddy threw 12 fits today. We took a walk, and stepped over 219 cracks! Hahaha. Shows how bored I get.
Going to the beach tomorrow with friends, but only staying till Sunday afternoon. Then back to work. Thursday, I leave for the beach again, but only until that Saturday. My dad, stepmom, sister, and stepbrother are all going to Williamsburg and Bush Gardens. Guess who isn't invited/allowed to come? Hmmmmm. . .tough one. If you guessed Me, you are correct! Makes me very sad. One of the few irks I have is that people can be so unfeeling. How do they think a fifteen year old feels when they leave and tell her not to come? Oh well. The world can be so weird. I can deal. Da Da Da Da, SUPER LINDSAY----able to deal with all stresses and emotional downfalls, stronger than steel, etc. Oh well, it makes me feel better to do that, though it probably only makes all of you think I am weird. Did the crossword and jumbles today. Can't wait to do them on Sunday!


Love to all,
God Bless,
AIMP,
eyes on the skies.

SMILE!
Lindsay <><

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Soooooo. . . the cheesecake is a big hit all around. Everyone loves it. It is very rich, but just ok. The calorie count is probably WAY high, but I guess that's ok. Well, I have officially decided that five-year olds are the worst. (or at least the one I nanny for.) She yells and screams, and kicks and hits, and throws temper tantrums and pushes and shoves, and whines and cries like no child I have ever known. Isn't the unwritten rule that children treat babysitters better than their own parents? (I would hate to see how she treats her parents. . .) I can't imagine ever being like that. . .and I am sure that i wasn't ever that way. I would have been in soooooo much trouble. (is the word discipline even in these people's vocabulary????) oh well. I am too young to handle this . . . (and I truly expected the two year old to be the problem, not the five year old.)

On another note: DANCE, one of my favorite topics; gymnastics went well (mostly handstand pushups, one handed cartwheels, tricks on the bar, back walkovers and flips in the air.). Jazz was okay, but rather boring. Still making up a dance to ABC by the Jackson 5. Ballet: Long and pretty fun. My favorite teacher taught, which was AWESOME!

So I went to the doctor today because I my ear has been hurting. She looks in both ears and says they both look fine. Talk about embarassing. . .!!!! But then she starts pressing different parts of my face to see if they are tender. She presses right next to my ear, on the jaw joint thingy. And I like totally wince. And she asks which side hurts. and I say the left side (which is the ear that I thought was infected.) so then she says do you grind your teeth. ummmmm Yes ma'am., came the rather embarassed response. She said. "Uh huh, that's what I thought." and she says "You don't have an earache, you have TMJ" TMJ is a jaw disorder where the muscle/joint is inflamed. It hurts and since it is so close to your ear, then you think you have an earache. This actually surprised me. In fourth grade, I was diagnosed with TMJ by my pediatrition, but then when I went to see my dentist (and later in life, my orthodontist), they told me that the doctor who had diagnosed this was wacko, and that I DID NOT have TMJ. Oh well.

My day today:
Get up
Shower
Get dressed
Feed dogs/cats/kittens
Doctor's office
Nannying (temper tantrum police; walk around the block; DO CORSSWORD, CRYPTOQUOTE, AND JUMBLES [something for me] during naptime; pick up toys all over house; clean up blue popsicle; wash dishes; take out trash; feed their dog; change diapers; kiss booboos; chase kids all over house; clean up pebbles in the house after five-year old decides it's funny to bring them in; try hard not to scream at the five year old after being hit, kicked, yelled at, spit at, etc)
Dance (gymnastics, jazz then ballet.)
Dinner (take-out chinese, very unhealthy, I'm sure)
Blog (hmmmm that's a toughy)
Shower
Bed

PS, anyone know how to get my clock on this blog thing set correctly??? It is about two and a half hours ahead of time!

Card company is growing. Any ideas, contributions or volunteers are very welcome. You know how to reach me.

What we need:
People!!!!! (artists, writers, relations people, and computer people)
Ideas for cards
Figure out where to sell the cards
(money is to be donated. . . to a good cause(s))

Bye Everyone:
Smile, even though life sucks sometimes. Trust me I know. (you don't even want to know how terrible my last week has been)

Lindsay

Sunday, June 15, 2003

So I made cheesecake today. It looks pretty. It is regular cheesecake with cookie dough baked into it. Then on top, it has a mixture of melted peanut butter and melted chocolate. It looks super good, but I guarantee it is way unhealthy. It is raining heavily right now, and that only makes my mood worse. It is sunday, a dreary sunday. I contacted the Disney World Marathon people, and they said that you had to be at least 18 years old on race day to run. Stupid rule. I can run fast so what's the big deal? Oh well, there goes my plan. Guess I'll have to find another marathon to run, only it won't be as cool as running through epcot and magic kingdom. Dude. This is not fair. Babysitting --- oops, Nannying---- tomorrow. AHHHHH. And to think I wanted eight kids when I grew up. Oh well. Shows how naiive I am. :(

Well, I am gonna go now, but i shall right again later. If you hear of any good marathons, let me know. If you wanna buy a card (made-to-order) then let me know. The money goes to a good cause. Well, goodbye for now.
AIMP,
God Bless,
Action Verbs,
Lindsay

Saturday, June 14, 2003

Okay, so my friend sam and i are doing the card company together. It's going REALLY well, which makes me oh so happy. If you want cards, you should know how to get in touch with me...! Well, we will be selling them and using the money to buy new materials and also donate the money various places. I am having a hard night because I know what tomorrow is, and I know that I am not going to be where I should be in order to celebrate. I am very down in the dumps, but I will pull myself out of it as I always do. It's hard. I am used to my parents fighting over me, not having one of them tell me that I am not invited to their house. It is very hard. Oh well. I can deal. :) No worries. Remember, as I am right now, that life should be about action verbs. I can cry, but I have to remember to laugh, too. I am gonna run lots and lots, and play soccer, and dance and swim, and walk and skip and jump and PLAY! Oh well. I need to go to bed and rest! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Bye to all. Much Love. God Bless and .....
Don't forget about those action verbs!!!!! :)

Smile!
Laugh......
Lindsay

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Someone very wise (she knows who she is, I hope) once told me that "life is about taking risks, taking chances. . . a life that is half-lived, is not a life; dont' be afraid [to live fully], if there is anything you can learn from me, learn to live hard, laugh, cry, love, jump, play, make your life about action verbs. . .embrace life, and live hard-- even if it means you crash and burn- because there is nothing quite like that adrenaline rush you get the moment before you crash-- and those moments building up are worth sooooo much." [Sidenote: she is an amazing person, and I hope that each of you can take something from that quotation from her] I have struggled a lot with just living. Living like there won't be a tomorrow, and living because we're here right now and there's no better time to embrace life than the present. But I was listening to 94.7 this afternoon, (country junkie, I admit), and heard this awesome song (which I have heard a bazillion times before, but today it had new meaning.). Here are the lyrics, which go along with the quotation above.

Under an old brass paper weight, is my list of things to do today.
Go to the bank and the hard ware store.
Put a new lock on the cellar door.
I cross 'em off as I get 'em done, but when the sun is set,
There's still more than a few things left I haven't got to yet.
Go for a walk, say a little prayer.
Take a deep breath of mountain air.
Put on my glove and play some catch.
It's time that I make time for that.
Wade the shore and cast a line
Look up an old lost friend of mine.
Catch up on all the things I've always missed.
Just start living, that's the next thing on my list.
Wouldn't change the course of fate
If cutting the grass just had to wait,
Cuz I've got more important things
Like pushin my kid on a backyard swing
I won't break my back for a million bucks,
I can't take to my grave,
So why put off for tomorrow
What I could get done today?
Like go for a walk, say a little prayer
Take a deep breath of mountain air.
Put on my glove and play some catch.
It's time that I make time for that.
Wade the shore and cast a line
Look up an old lost friend of mine.
Catch up on all the things I've always missed.
Just start living, that's the next thing on my list.
Raise a little hell, laugh till it hurts.
Put an extra five in the plate at church,
Call up my folks just to chat
It's time that i make time for that.
Stay up late, then oversleep,
show her what she means to me
Catch up on all the things I've always missed.
Just start living, that's the next thing on my list.


Bye everyone, and live to the fullest. Love, laugh, cry, smile, frown, give, have a great time. Be able to say, I came, I saw, I went, and I don't regret a darn thing!

AIMP,
Eyes on the skies,
Lindsay Caroline
(sole member of the smiley crew, and the infamous mail bandit)
Alright, so guess who is starting their own card-making company? ME! (hey now, don't laugh at me. I am having a terrible week---year would be more accurate--- and have decided that since Hallmark won't let me send them my poetry, I will simply start my own card company. Who is brilliant?????) hehehe.
So, running totals for the day. . .
-# of temper tantrums thrown by Maddy (age 5), in a 7 hour span: 9 temper tantrums. . . (more than 1/hour)
-# of times Emily (age 2) asked "Why?" in a 7 hour span: 58. . . (goodness, and she doesn't seem to get that when I say "I dunno," that it means that I have no clue or that I just can't explain the facts of life to a 2 year old.
- # of times Maddy hit someone in a span of 7 hours: 6 times. (anger management time; take lessons from Gandhi "nonviolent" is obviously not in her vocabulary.)
- # of rain drops that fell today in a 1 hour length of time: millions, flash flood time
- # of times I thought about Father's Day and how empty I was gonna feel: many many, if only my father would read this
- # of times I sung the Barney Song or the Sesame Street song with Maddy and Emily: I'm too embarassed to say
- # of times I thought about the order to show cause thingy in court tomorrow between my parents: LOTS and LOTS
- # of times I thought about how I am going to train to run the Disney World Marathon: YAY tons and tons
- # of times I read "Dora the Explorer" to Emily: only 1 (wow I got off easy today. it's usually at least 12!)
-# of minutes I spent on the crossword puzzle (Sunday's is better), and the jumbles: about 35 (yeah, yeah, I know that's alot.)
-# of times I wished it was 7:10pm so I could be at the movies with Brianne! YAY (almost time. . .): about a million
-# of grilled cheese sandwiches I burned today (out of 8 total): 6 (yeah I know what you're thinking)
-# of grilled cheese sandwiches Emily ate: 3
- # of grilled cheese sandwiches Maddy ate: 0 (she just ate the cheese out of the middle, and then demanded that I give her a cream cheese sandwich instead---this is two pieces of bread with cream cheese in the middle)
- # of chocolate cupcake crumbs I picked up off the floor: 117 (yes, I counted)

Alright, now I am tired of typing and staring at la computadora! Ok, so I have had a pretty bad day. I am such a terrible person if I have been told I am not invited to my father's house on Father's Day.
Dude what is wrong with me? Anyway, the infamous mail bandit/sole smiley crew member must go.

More later,
and until next time, this is
Lindsay Caroline :)
saying, "Smile Darn Ya Smile" [Annie, the musical]

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

So my dad has informed me that I am not invited to his house this weekend, even on Father's Day. I must be a horrible, awful, no good, very bad daughter for my dad not to even want me, (although he wants my sister.) Could someone tell me what is so bad about me that I didn't do anything and people are still like this to me. I did make someone's day when I sent them smiley faces in the mail. She now calls me the "mail bandit" and "a member of the smiley crew." Heeheehee. Anyway, we did "hand stand pushups" in gymnastics today. What you do is go into a handstand and then bend your arms, while keeping your legs straight up, and then you straighten your arms again. It's basically a regular pushup except that you are perpendicular to the ground rather than horizontal to it. It was really hard, but it is a really good feeling once you figure it out and get it right. We also did forward flips, one-handed cartwheels, and back walk overs. But other than gymnastics, there was jazz and ballet. Very tiring and long. In Jazz we danced to Michael Jackson's song "ABC", which was fun.

Other songs to add to last night's list is:
"Girls just wanna have fun" (Cyndi Lauper)
"Born to Fly" (Sara Evans)

So until next time, this is. . ..
Lindsay Caroline :)
saying, "Smile Darn Ya Smile." [Annie, the musical]

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Don't learn ballet, jazz and tap before you learn hip hop, clogging and modern. They do nothing but train you to be rigid and on your toes literally in the former three. Then they want you to stop the rigidity and loosen up your arms and legs in the latter three. Go figure. I spent much of the night in tears, which was hard but sometimes crying only makes it better. It's just been a really hard 4 weeks, and it seems to be getting harder not easier. My advice from this sucky situation is: Always smile, and always find the silver lining. It is very hard sometimes, I know, but it helps. Laugh and smile because life is so worth it. If you need songs to make you happy, here are a few:

- "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" [Veggie Tales]
- "These are a few of my favorite things" and other songs from The Sound of Music
- "I Wanna Talk About Me" [Toby Keith]
- "Don't worry be happy" [I have no idea who sings it.]
- "Skinamarinky Dink, Skinamarinky Doo" [Sharon, Bram and Lois]
- "All I really Need" [Raffi]
- "My Girl" [Temtations]
- "I am A rock" and "Bridge over Troubled Water" [Simon and Garfunkel]
- "You Gotta Be" [Desere]
- "Let's Dance" and "Born to Fly" [Sara Evans]
- "Work In Progress" [Alan Jackson]
- "Going the Distance" [Cake]
- "Any Man of Mine" [Shania Twain]
- "My Baby Loves Me Just the Way that I Am" [Martina McBride]
- "I Feel Pretty" [Westside Story]
- "Tomorrow" [Annie]
- "Gonna Change the World" and "Reach" [S Club 7]
- "Little Less Conversation" [Elvis]
- "You can't always get what you want" [Rolling Stones]
- "We're Dancing" [from Center Stage]

Hope that helps. If I know you and you want me to burn some of these for you, just tell me (im, call, email, w/e) and I will be happy to. I love these songs!


God bless.
Until Next Time, this is
Lindsay Caroline :)
saying, "Smile Darn Ya Smile!" [-Annie, the musical]
Tonight, Gymnastics, tap and hip hop. AHHHHH I am very tired. Note to self: Lessen amount of busy"ness" in schedule. I am about to go to dance, but I wanted to write something very quickly. I think I will write a novel. I have wanted to write one since I was seven, but time is of the essence. And as a full-time student, runner, dancer, gymnast, (hmmm athlete might have worked and summed it all up), I have yet to find the time. Oh well. Ideas and suggestions for the topic of this novel are very welcome. I will write more soon. Hope summer is going well.

God bless.
AIMP,
Eyes on the skies.
ANd until next time, this is
Lindsay Caroline :)
saying. . . "Smile Darn ya smile!" [if you have never seen Annie, you are lost right about now. Sorry!, but follow those instuctions.
I wrote this poem for my mom. It is a very special day for her. I wanted everyone to see the poem. . .


My mother kept a garden, a garden of the heart;
She planted all the good things that gave my life its start.

She turned me to the sunshine and encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing the seeds of self-esteem.

When the winds and rain came, she protected me enough,
But not too much because she knew I’d need to grow up strong and tough.

She was always there to hug me, and wipe the tears right from my eyes.
Her love was unfailing and I soon found out that true love never dies.

Through all the hard stuff, I knew beside me she would be,
Protecting, caring and loving, it was life’s good parts she showed to me.

She taught me all about the world and showed me what love was,
That her love would never go away, and she loved me just because.

She loved me when life was good and even more when life wasn’t
She proved that her love was forever, never to end because “love just doesn’t.”

When I felt like giving up, and was tired of the hurt and of the pain,
She showed me that what I had going for me left me much to gain.

She taught me about confidence and believing always in me,
And that nothing would stop me from becoming who I wanted to be.

Her constant good example always taught me right from wrong—
Markers for my pathway that will last a lifetime long.

I am my mother’s garden, I am her work and legacy,
And I hope today she feels her love reflected back from me.


I don't know, but I kinda like it. I would love suggestions on how to improve it (Hallmark here I come) and would love to hear your opinions. So let me know. If you know me then you should know my email, screen name, and/or phone number, so please tell me what you like, don't like, and what could be changed to make it better. I know that in the fifth and sixth stanzas that the seconds lines are a little off rythm, but I am not sure how to make it better.

Much love,
Eyes on the skies,

God Bless,
And until next time, this is
Lindsay Caroline :)
Saying, "Smile darn ya smile!" [if you've never seen the musical Annie, then you are totally lost right now. sorry. maybe i'll explain later. :)]
PS---
All of yall should try humus from Whole Foods (once Wellspring), and also they have these really cool RICE DREAM BARS. These are ice cream bars that are made from rice and carob, and then dipped in a sauce made of carob. They are very yummy, and I am guessing good for you, though that is debatable I suppose. Bye everyone. Much love to all, and God Bless
Something else I have come across while nannying is the ultimate feeling of helplessness. You are walking down the stairs, in this order: the five-year-old first, then the two-year-old, then you. You have your arms out trying not to be overbearing but trying to protect the two-year-old at the same time. So the two year old goes rolling down the stairs, and so fast that there is no way for you to stop her. By the time your mind registers what is happening, she is already at the bottom of the stairs. Geeze. It is the worst feeling because you know that you can't do anything except run after her and hope to catch her by the ninth stair. Let's see. . . only 6 weeks, and 3 1/2 days to go!!! Ahhhhhh. Anyway, snack time is over, so my blog must end. My advice to you is either avoid two-year-olds or avoid staircases. Your choice, but it's one or the other.

Until next time, this is
Lindsay Caroline :)
saying, "Smile, darn ya smile." [If you've never seen ANNIE, then that makes NO SENSE to you, but hey, follow the advice. :)]
Do any of you out there ever wonder things that you cannot find the answer to? Well, if you babysit (or nanny, as I am instructed to call it) then you have certainly come across questions that are impossible to answer, like I have.

Like these:
1. Why is the sky blue?
2. Is Snuffleupogus (on Sesame Street, aka "Snuffy") a girl or a boy. (The voice sounds like a boy, but its eye lashes are REALLY long!) So is Snuffy a boy or a girl?
3. Which brings along another question: Is Tinky Winky a girl or a boy? (We know that Dipsy is male and that Po and LaLa are females, but what about Tinky Winky?)
4. Why do adults always answer questions with "because?"
5. Why does the red swing go higher than the yellow swing?
6. What do chocolate icing and glue taste like together?
7. Why don't dogs talk?
8. Why does mommy have to work? (my response was: Someone has to put food on the table.; her response was "But I always put people's plates on the table. That's my job. So why does mommy have to work?") And how come daddy never works?
9. How come a baby doll's eyes don't close even after you rock them to sleep?
10. Why do dogs kiss with their tongues? Can I kiss with my tongue too?

I have also learned that nannying and babysitting are two very different things. The people I nanny for have corrected me when I said babysitting. Apparently what I am doing each day from 8-5 is called nannying. Well, ok, so what?

I have also learned that reverse psychology is GREAT for two year olds!

Three hours of dance and nine hours of babysitting--- NANNYING--- do not go well together. You are very exhausted the next day, and even a shower and a heck of a lot of coffee cannot cure your exhaustion.

Also GADZOOKERY means : "the use of archaisms."
Archaisms: antiquity of style or use; obsoleteness

Bye for now
Lindsay Caroline :)

Monday, June 09, 2003

Alright, so yeah. I am having an absolutely terrible night. It's all downhill from here. I feel like I'm in an avalanche and I can never escape. It's painful, but probably moreso than I ever thought it could be. What I learned from tonight, is that it is okay to have feelings and to embrace the way you feel, but you CANNOT EVER let that interfere with friendships. It only makes it worse. When you have a bad day, don't take it out on the people who care about you the most. They didn't do anything wrong! Please take this advice and apply it to your life. What hurts you can only hurt you more if you let it destroy the bonds you have with people who care about and love you. Don't learn the hard way. I did and it hurts like nothing else in the world. Anyway, I hope that some of what I write here helps you in the long run and that you can use it in your life so that you do not end up being miserable because you are such a terrible person.

On a happier note, dance is going well. Tonight was clogging, ballet, and gymnastic; tomorrow night is gymnastics, tap, and hip hop. Wednesday night is gymnastics, jazz, and ballet. Lots of fun. My runs are to the dance studio (approx. 1 1/2 miles) and back (if you are smart you know that is 3 miles total!) and sometimes more depending on the time I have. Thursday and Friday nights are longer runs because there is no dance! Oh well.

For those of you who know me, my hair is now very short. It is just below my ears. I can't pull it all the way back into a pony tail for when I run, and so obviously, putting it into a bun for dance is impossible.

Well, I must go now.
God bless, and SMILE!


"He who can laugh at himself shall never cease to be amused." Winston Churchill
I think this is very true. Laughter is an essential part of life, and as someone very wise once told me, it is the best sound in the world. (I think she learned that from another very wise person, but passing it along is vital to the lives of people everywhere.)

Well, I shall go now, but I will blog again soon, though remembering to blog is nearly impossible, and not that it matters because no one reads this anyway.

Smile and laugh and enjoy life, no matter how much it sucks.
Lindsay Caroline :)
It's June 9, 2003, and what started out as a lovely Monday morning. Long day, but that's the way it is when you work. I nannied from 8am-5pm, when I raced to get to dance on time. Clogging was first, and then ballet, and gymnastics. I am continuing to nanny mostly because I need the money. I want a laptop, but after just a small amount of deliberation (like 5 minutes), I had decided that the laptop didn't matter. This sixteen hundred dollars was going to be a gift to my mom for all her hard work. Crazy, a suckup; call me what you will. My mother deserves this money like no one else in the world, and there's a story behind this, that's too long to type. Anyway, I have learned that people stab your back with knives, especially when you are a teenager. EVERYONE does, or tries to and they miss. And yet adults tell us that these are the best years of our lives! Go figure. I learned a few things today (some serious, some not so), but all of them should be shared, whether for smiles or for gain in life.

1. Don't learn to tap before you learn to clog. Clogging comes first, always, or it should. Don't make my mistake.
2. Saucony's are the BESTEST running shoes ever! (esp the moderate motion stabilizer)
3. Glue, glitter, chocolate icing, scissors, and tape, and a five year old do NOT mix!
4. If a child throws a temper tantrum, you shouldn't throw one back! It doesn't solve anything.
5. No matter how much a situation wasn't your fault, you can lose a relationship with a sibling because a parent turns the story around to point the blame at you.
6. Court mediation for divorced parents doesn't do anything. It doesn't solve the problem, and it makes relations worse. And most of all, since the child is not allowed to be there, it doesn't represent the child's opinion.
7. If you gallop around in clogging shoes, you will turn your ankle!!!! No joke.
8. It's hard to be a good person, no matter how hard you try to, someone will always point out your flaws, and maybe hate you for them.
I hope that this list has been informative, and I will write more later. Right now, I have to do something that I really don't want to do, but hey that's life.

God bless,
AIMP,
and Love to All.

And always, always SMILE!

Lindsay Caroline :)