Friday, August 29, 2003

Alright: How do I sum up my week?

SUCKY, but I suppose things could be worse.

Well, we sold my sister's bed and so I have been sleeping on the floor for the last 4 nights, while she sleeps in my bed. (go figure!) Then, my dad calls my house, talks to my sister, so I get to hear one end of the conversation (this is how it ends):

"Yes. . . . . Do you wanna talk to Lindsay?"
[Long pause, and then an exasperated sigh]
"Oh. . .ok. Alright, love you too. Bye."

My reaction:
"Sherby, what happened?"
"What do ya mean?"
"Why can't I talk to dad?"
"He ummm. . .well. . .he ummmm. . ." (she tries to figure out how to protect him) "He had something else to do."
"He had to do it right then and he couldn't even talk to me? C'mon sherb, shoot straight with me."
She looks down, an obvious sign she is lying, and says, " Well, ok, he said he didn't want to talk to you."
"Did he say why?"
"No. He didn't. Lindsay, get over it. Maybe he just doesn't love you anymore, and if he does then he has stopped caring," she gets up and storms out the door.

Then, today, (Friday), I had the following stuff at school:
7th pd -Health (which at my school comes first): TEST
1st pd - APES: Quiz
2nd pd. -Enr. Chem Quiz
3rd pd. -Enr. Eng. Quiz
4th pd. Publications TEST
and I also had a paper due third period. Okay, do I get to have a life or not? So yeah, I have a very sore back, from gymnastics and dance and the floor of my house, and I am so stressed out. NOT TO MENTION: that my mom had a court date with my dad today and the judge denied one of her motions (motion for contempt), and upheld her other motion (motion to compell), and they never got to his motion (motion for contempt). So they have another court date set for Tuesday, and guess what! (this really pissed me off, excuse my language.) They want to call me as a witness. They want me to get up on the stand in front of him, his lawyer, my mom, the judge, etc, and tell them why I am not going to my dads when I am supposed to. (Now, any idiot can answer that: DUH. Can you people not see how he treats me, and his wife is even worse. And besides. He kicked me out of his house in the first place, so I can't very well invite myself back, now can I?)

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

This is a side-note to the chapter that was published in my previous post. For some odd reason, does not allow me to copy and paste anything with tabs, as it will not keep the tabs. So, sorry for the confusion. MUCH LOVE!
Well, "anonymous" asked for the next chapter, which is a flash back to the days just before ninth grade. I am not sure, but I don't know that it is very good. . .hmmmm.

Here goes. (and no laughing!!!! :P )

Chapter 2

I rolled over; the illuminating red numbers on my alarm clock read 1:03 AM. Swimmer’s ear had plagued the last precious days of my summer vacation. It was Friday night, or rather, Saturday morning, and school started Monday. The pain in my right ear was growing worse by the minute, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could bare the throbbing ache that kept me up that night. I sighed and bit my lip, trying to concentrate on anything but the pain. I began to count backwards from one thousand in Spanish, a task that usually helped me sleep, but tonight, it failed miserably. Reluctantly, but with no other option as the pain steadily increased, I climbed out of bed. I felt my way helplessly through the darkness upstairs to my dad’s room. I felt along the walls, gliding my left hand along their smooth surface, while keeping my right hand over my ear, as though I thought it would ease the pain. “Dad,” I whispered, close to tears now because of how much worse my ear felt than it had only minutes before. “I can’t sleep. My ear really, really hurts. I already took pain reliever, but its not helping.”
“What time is it?” came his groggy response.
“About one in the morning,” I said, wondering if he had any idea what kind of pain this was.
“Can’t you wait till eight when urgent care opens?” he said, pleadingly.
“But daddy,” I said using my little girl voice, “it really hurts. I mean, it really hurts, really bad. Please do something,” I pleaded with him. He climbed out of bed and followed me back downstairs, through the darkness, and into my bedroom. By this time I was whimpering helplessly, as though I thought that the sound would make the pain cease. Surprise, surprise, it didn’t! After ten agonizing minutes of my father trying to calm me down, and me trying to convince him of how much it hurt, he gave up and said, “Do you need to go to the emergency room? I hate to take you because I think you can wait until eight, but if you really need to go, we can. Just remember that we’ll probably have to wait for a few hours after we get there because an ear ache certainly isn’t at the top of the priority list in a hospital.” I nodded, and we woke my sister up. We got dressed, and put on jackets because even though it was August, the night air was crisp.
Four hours (and a dose of morpheme) later, I was back in bed, and on my way to being asleep. The emergency room doctor had put a “wick,” which is basically a sponge-type material, into my ear, to hold open the canal. That way, the ear drops would definitely reach the infection. I needed sleep. I was starting high school on Monday, and now, I would be starting a new school with a piece of white sponge sticking out of my right ear!
Earlier that day, I had been taken off the waiting list and offered a spot at a small school. I was originally supposed to attend a big magnet school, with a student population of nearly three thousand. The opportunity to attend a school with fewer than five hundred students was well received on my end. There was just one problem. All my friends were going to the big school, except for one friend. Maria had been accepted also and after about two hours of deliberation, weighing and re-weighing the pros and cons, we both decided that this school would be a good place for us to spend our high school years.
Now, as I dozed off, dreaming of my freshman year of high school, all my worries and fears of high school and of being away from my circle of friends slowly disappeared with the approach of sleep. It was Saturday; I was going to be at a much smaller school for the next four years; my ear was feeling better, and I was finally able to get some rest.
The sun slowly crept through the blinds that hung on my windows. I rolled over, trying to get in a position where my ability to snooze for a while for not dictated by the rising sun. I groaned and squirmed impatiently in my bed. Why couldn’t the sun wait for me to be ready to wake up? Why did it have to get up so early? I put my pillow over my face, trying desperately to hold it in a position where it covered my eyes so I could rest, but not my nose and mouth, so I could still breathe.
Suddenly, something leapt onto my stomach. “Ow!” I screamed in pain. As if an ear infection wasn’t enough, and a trip to the emergency room early this morning, but now some massive blob was jumping onto my stomach. I took the pillow away from my face and slammed it down on the head of the culprit— my little sister. “Goodness, Anna, can’t you let me sleep?”
“No,” she giggled. What was funny about the pain I was in and how tired I was? “You can’t stay in bed all day,” she said whining, pleading with me to drag myself out of bed and play Polly Pockets with her.
“It’s not all day,” I protested. “It’s,” I rolled over and looked at my digital clock so I could be sure I had the precise time, “seven fifty four in the morning. It is also my second to last day of summer. And in case you forgot, we all spent the night in the emergency room!”
“Because of you,” she said coldly. “You really should get up and play with me, you know, or I’ll. . .”
“Or you’ll what?” I said, unafraid of anything my twelve-year-old sister would threaten.
“Or. . .I won’t ever speak to you again,” she responded defiantly.
“Oh, and how long will that last? Just until you need to borrow money or something.”
“I hate you,” she told me.
“Don’t hate me,” I told her. “You shouldn’t hate anybody,” I told her in my ‘sister-knows-best’ voice. She rolled her eyes, and looked at me again. “It’s true,” I said simply.
“Whatever,” she responded, shrugging my words off.
“But, since I am already wide awake,” I told her in my best imitation of an adult, “and since I love you so much— ”
She cut me off, “Yeah right,” she said sarcastically.
“It’s true,” I protested, “and if you’d let me finish, I was going to say that I am going to get up and play with you now.”
“HOORAY!” She screamed, and began marching around my room, shouting and waving her hands around. I groaned and rolled out of bed, ready for a fun-filled day of entertaining thirteen-year-old Anna.
I rolled my eyes and watched her march out of my room. I closed the door behind her and smiled to myself. As annoying as she can be, I thought, I love her to death, and life would be so boring without her. I snatched a pair of nylon shorts and a long t-shirt, my typical middle-school-tom-boyish attire, and carried them to the bathroom I shared with Anna. I closed the bathroom door and began brushing my teeth before I took my shower.
Suddenly, the door swung open and hit the adjoining wall with a tremendous thud. Anna stood there, grinning, leaning against the doorway, with a hand on her hip. Rolling her eyes, she said to me, “This had better not be one of you long showers,” placing great emphasis on the word long, drawing it out into three syllables. With the toothbrush in my mouth, I managed to grunt out, “Give me enough privacy to take the shower, please.” She grinned and stepped out of the doorway, grabbing the doorknob and closing it quietly behind her.
After my shower, my sister and I played Monopoly and Clue, and then lay on my bed, listening to music. My ear began to ache as the morpheme the hospital prescribed wore off. I put ear drops in my ear, and lay on my side on the couch reading while the drops soaked in. The shrill ring of the phone brought me out of the world created by my book. My sister ran to answer it. “Hello,” she said into the receiver. “Oh hi, mommy.. . . . . . .Yes we’re fine. We went to the emergency room last night. Maria’s ear canal collapsed!” I could hear the sound of my mother’s muffled voice on the other end of the phone. “No, she’s fine. . . . . .No, she can’t talk to you. . . . . . . . . .Why? Because she is lying down on the couch letting the ear drops soak in.” There was a fairly long pause, and then my sister said, “You’re coming at ten thirty tomorrow to pick us up?. . . .Yes, I’ll tell Maria to call you. . . . . . . Okay, Mom. . . .Uh-huh.. . . . Okay. I love you too. Bye.”
My sister stood over me, and she reached down, and knocked on my head as though it was a door. “Can you hear me, sister dear?” I rolled my eyes and laughed.
“Yes,” I said, a bit too loudly, mostly because I couldn’t hear my own voice well enough to judge its volume.
“Mom wants you to call her, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, she raced upstairs to find our father. Within seventy seconds she returned, and said, “Dad wants to know when you will be ready to go out to lunch.”
“Soon. Tell him soon,” I said. “I think the drops are almost completely soaked in. But I want to make sure so my ear doesn’t get more infected.”
“Okay. Well, I am going to go finish getting ready. Need anything?”
“No thanks,” I told her, smiling to myself. My sister, however wild and crazy, has a good heart and cares for other people a lot. I sighed, wishing the drops would hurry up. My legs were starting to cramp. My thoughts turned then to high school. In fewer than forty eight hours, I would be entering the “four best years of your life” as I had been told by countless adults. As many of them had also reminded me, these were also “the four most important years” of my life. So much of me couldn’t wait to start, and yet a part of me hung back, unsure of how prepared I was for this. Would I be smart enough for the teachers not to hate me? Would I be cool enough for my peers to like me? High school was a huge step, something I had really looked forward to, and yet something that I had also dreaded. And now, it was right around the corner. Another step, and I would be totally immersed in the life of a student whose every move was watched by colleges. . . . . . .A huge question lingered. Was I ready?

(there, and any suggestions on what I can add or remove are MORE than welcome!!!, so please, critique away. Constructive critisism is by far a writer's best editing device, with spell check at a close second! j/k)
later days everybody.
God bless.

Friday, August 22, 2003

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Why don't people love you for who you are? Why is the world so cruel? Why are people demeaning to you when you are trying so hard?

This is totally off topic, but I have another question. I went to the movies today with my friend Courtney. In the ladie's room there was writing on one of the walls that said "Bob was here." Ok, so BOB, most likely a man, was in the girls' room????? What a crazy world.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

I am going to publish the lyrics to the song I hope to do my solo to this year.

It's called "Don't Cry Out Loud."

Baby cried the day the circus came to town
Cause she didn't want parades just passin' by her
So she painted on a smile and took up
with some clown
While she danced without a net upon the wire
I know a lot about her, because you see
Baby is an awful lot like me

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
Learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
and if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all

Baby saw that when they pulled that
Big top down
They left behind her dreams among the litter
And the different kind of love
She thought she'd found
There was nothing left but sawdust
and some glitter
But baby can't be broken because you'll see
She had the finest teacher that was me
I told her:

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
Learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
and if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all

Well, I don't know what I am going to go do, but I hope all of you had better days than I did. Stay strong.

I had a pretty bad day, (other than dance: jazz I, jazz II, and hip hop II.) but I don't want to sound whiny or like a complaining little kid, but it was pretty darn bad. One thing has to do with school, the other with family, and of course, me too. I would post what these things are, BUT there are two problems with this:
1. I do NOT want to sound like I am complaining, because I am soooo blessed.
2. Some stuff that happened should NOT be published for anyone to see.

I suppose I should go now. I am sorry to make all of you listen to my complaining, so I will give you a stupid little thing to do.

tell me what this code is for/of:


FIGURE THAT OUT!!!!!!!! lol.
maybe I will do shoutouts tomorrow. . .I don't know. God bless, and I hope all of you have a wonderful week.

Monday, August 18, 2003

I think, if you people promise not to laugh, that I will paste the first chapter of my novel here. I want some criticism from many different people, and so I think this is the best way to get it. If you find any parts of it stupid or in need of work in any way, please tell me so I can fix them. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it!!!!! (by the way, the names are strictly made up, and not based, at least not the first chapter, on any real life events.!!!!)
Well, here goes. . . (and no laughing at the mere stupidity of the content!!!!)

I rolled over in bed, unable to sleep. Whether it was the storm outside our Washington D.C. home, or the snoring of my husband sleeping next to me, I did not know, but I crawled out of bed, anyway. After all, another revision of my speech for tomorrow couldn’t hurt.
Tomorrow was inauguration day; I would become the first female United States President. My digital clock’s red numbers read 2:14am. I rubbed my eyes, and shuffled slowly through the darkened bedroom my husband and I shared. I grappled for the wall as I felt my way down the hall, towards the bedrooms of my children. At the age of 36, I was happily married, with four children. Kelly Michelle, age eight, and Audrey Elizabeth, age 6 were sleeping soundly in the lavender room they shared. I smiled when I noticed that Audrey Elizabeth had gotten down from the top bunk she usually slept on to sleep next to her sister on the bottom bunk. The storm must have scared her, I thought. They were great sisters, even if they had no biological connection at all. My husband and I had adopted Kelly Michelle about seven and a half years ago from Russia, but regardless of blood connections, our family was close and happy together. I continued to move down the hall to the nursery, where my two year old son, Caleb slept, thumb in mouth. Caleb, too, had been adopted, but he was adopted from Chile.
The shrill cry of Tracy Marie sliced through my thoughts. I rushed into the nursery to quiet her before she woke Caleb up. As I lifted her in my arms, Caleb stirred, but rolled over and fell back asleep. Whimpering, Tracy Marie, relaxed a little in my arms. At seven months old, Tracy was the latest addition to our household. We had adopted her right here in D.C., just two weeks after she was born.
I carried her downstairs and warmed a bottle in the microwave. Gently rocking her in my arms, while the microwave droned on in the dim light of the kitchen, her whimpering quieted and she looked up at me. Her blue eyes shone even in the dark night with the rain pelting down on the roof. She reached up and brushed my cheek with her little hand. Beep, beep, beep, beep. I opened the microwave door, trying to make as little noise as possible, and carried Tracy over to the rocking chair in the rec-room. Settling down into the chair, I propped her up in the crook of my left arm. Gently wedging the nipple of the bottle into her small mouth, I handed the bottle to her and let her feed herself. As she sucked contentedly on the bottle, I reached over to the coffee table and picked up one of the many copies of my speech. I had read and reread this at least a thousand times in the last week, but I was too nervous to do anything else.
This was a big step for our country, because finally after repeated tries in past elections, a woman would finally make it to the White House as someone other than First Lady, and the first person to take the step was me. Me. I grew up determined to make a difference; I just never thought that I would make such an impact in the way the political system in our country was viewed. I sighed. Just as my medical career had soared through the clouds, I got appointed to the cabinet for the president, as the Secretary of Health and Human Services. As Secretary of this department, I had made many strides in medical research. The citizens of more than one state encouraged me to run for president. “You care about the common person,” they had told me. “And besides, it’s about time we get someone in there who wasn’t a lawyer or a judge or a legislator.” At the time, I had laughed, but my laughter soon turned into hard work, and then turned to stress-filled days, and finally to triumph.
Tracy Marie finished her bottle, and closed her eyes. Her breathing became deep and her entire body relaxed in my arms. I focused my attention back on my speech. I reached over, trying not to wake the baby by moving around, and picked up a red pen. I began circling, crossing out, and rewriting bits and pieces of my speech. I worked at it for nearly two hours before standing up to un-cramp my legs, and carrying Tracy Marie gently back to the nursery. Laying her in the crib, I watched her sleep for a minute. The lives of my entire family were about to change. You can’t worry about that too much. Jonathan stuck by you through it all, like he promised to, and the kids can adapt. You have got a chance to change the world, and your family is included in that. What more do you want? I smiled. I was so blessed. I walked quietly back downstairs, where I washed out the bottle, and put my speech away. Tip-toeing back to my bedroom, I wasn’t twenty feet away before I heard Jonathan snoring. I shook my head and laughed silently to myself. I crawled back in bed next to my husband. Sighing, I pulled the covers up around my chin. I closed my eyes, wondering, Am I ready for this?

The next morning, we all got up early and ate breakfast together. Cereal for the kids, and cranberry juice for me. I had been up since six that morning when I got up to go for a run. I had run cross country all through high school, and then in college; it was a part of my life that was drilled into my schedule and had become a way for me to relax. I wanted to take the run today, because it would be my last one without secret service around me. After a shower, I had gently awoken my children, and gotten their breakfast ready. Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries for Kelly Michelle, and Cornflakes for Audrey Elizabeth. Caleb smiled over his bowl of oatmeal, and Jonathan held Tracy Marie as she fed herself from her bottle. I did the jumbles and the crossword puzzle as I drank my juice. “Gore and Capone (3)”. . . . .Hmmmmm. Three letters. A-L-S! I wrote it down, and continued with the next clue, anything to take my mind off of what would take place in a matter of hours. “Mommy,” Kelly Michelle said to me, “Could we please be excused.”
“Yes you may,” I responded. Kelly Michelle and Audrey Elizabeth got up from the table, and raced upstairs.
Jonathan got up and began loading the dishwasher, while balancing Tracy Marie in one hand. “Mommy, mommy!” Caleb got my attention. “Look at me,” he said, picking up a spoon, making airplane sounds as he “flew” the spoon of oatmeal into his mouth. I smiled. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad, after all, my family would be there.
“Honey,” I said to Jonathan.
“Hm,” he said, in a way that made me wonder if he was really listening.
“I am going to get the girls dressed. Can you watch Caleb while he finishes his oatmeal?”
“Sure thing,” he turned around as I brought my cup to him. He kissed me, and said, for the zillionth time, “I am so proud of you, and I will always, always, always love you.”
“Ditto,” I said, kissing him back. “Want me to take her?” I said indicating Tracy Marie.
“Here,” he laughed, handing her to me. “I won’t complain if you want her,” and he laughed again. I remember falling in love with his laugh the first time we met. I carried Tracy Marie up the stairs toward the girls’ bedroom. First, though, I went to the nursery for the infant seat. Placing Tracy Marie in it, I then carried it into the girls’ bedroom. I set down the infant seat next to the bunk beds and crossed the room to the closet. I pushed my way to the back of the rack, where the dresses we bought for them were. After finding out I would be president, Jonathan and I went to store after store trying desperately to find something for the girls to wear. I had grown up a tomboy, and would have chosen my soccer uniform over a dress any day. And it turned out that I raised two girls to be the exact same way, without meaning to, of course. Jonathan and I had finally decided on sleeveless white dresses, with embroidered designs towards the bottom to the dress. With a sash in the back, and a lacy collar, and added with them a pair of white dress shoes, with brass buckles, they were perfect. We bought three, so that the three girls would match. It was Jonathan’s idea, and I agreed because I was tired of shopping. I pulled the dresses out of the closet, and handed them to my eager girls. They hurriedly put them on, and Kelly Michelle rushed to the dresser to get out the lace socks we kept for special occasions. Handing a pair to her sister, and keeping the other one in her hands, she turned suddenly to me. Her brown eyes sparkled. “We’re going on an adventure, Mommy. All the people are going to want to meet us and we get to live in the biggest house in the world!” She was grinning from ear to ear. “I can’t wait!” Suddenly, her smile faded. “Can we take Bella and Helen and Pappy with us?” she asked, worry filling her eyes, as she realized that no one had said if our dogs and cat could come with us to our new house.
“Yes, Sweetheart, they are part of the family so they get to come too,” I told her, comfortingly, stroking her long, dark hair. “Okay, guys,” I said quickly, “finish getting ready while I dress Tracy Marie.” The girls continued dressing, and put on their new shoes and got out their sweaters. We had also purchased the light sweaters after I got neurotic about the chilly morning air and its effect on the children. Jonathan had laughed at my worrying, but then after seeing that I truly was concerned, he paid for them too.
I hustled both girls down the hall toward the master bathroom. Carrying Tracy Marie in one hand and hurrying the girls along with the other, we finally reached the bathroom. Kelly Michelle sat down on the ocean-colored tile floor and I let her hold the baby. Keeping an eye on them, I focused a portion of my attention to fixing Audrey Elizabeth’s red hair. I French-braided it and tied a ribbon at the end. Kelly Michelle and Audrey Elizabeth traded places, and I placed the baby in the arms of an eager six-year-old. I fixed Kelly Michelle’s hair the same way. Then I picked Tracy Marie up and put a small white bow in what little hair she had. All three girls sat quietly watching me put on my make-up and fix my hair. Their eyes were wide, and as I applied mascara to my eye lashes, Audrey Elizabeth spoke up, “Mommy do you have to talk to a lot of people today?”
“Yes, ma’am, I do,” I told her. “People voted for me and they want me to tell them what I am going to do to make their lives better.”
“Oh,” she said, and I knew I had lost her interest. “Do we have to take lots of pictures today?” Audrey Elizabeth hated pictures, while her brother and older sister thrived on them.
“Probably,” I said, knowing she wouldn’t like that answer. Jonathan came in the door at that moment, with Caleb, dressed in a white suit with brass buttons. His hair was lying flat on his head, and he was grinning like never before. “Hey sweetie,” I said to Caleb.
“Hi,” Jonathan responded, and laughed.
“Daddy,” Caleb said seriously, “Mommy talking to me, no you.” My husband and I laughed.
“C’mon Caleb and Audrey Elizabeth, let’s go play with a puzzle,” Kelly Michelle said to her siblings. She turned, to me, smiling, “Is that okay, Mommy?”
“Sure thing,” I said to her. As she ran out of the room, I handed the baby to my husband and we walked into our room together.
“We need to go in a few,” he said. Sighing, I smiled and took his hand. We went downstairs to pack the car with snacks and diapers, all the necessities.
The ride to the White House seemed especially long that day. It seemed like we got stopped at all the stop lights, and there was an insane amount of traffic on the road that day. Of course, there were police escorts all around us, trying to ward off any danger that lay between our house and the White House. The military was outside the White House, on the lawn, with cannons and guns. “Oh, no, Mommy. Look, those men have guns. Can we go home?” pleaded a very uncomfortable Audrey Elizabeth.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Those men are good guys. The guns are to protect us. It’s kind of like when people carry guns in a parade back home in North Carolina, remember? Don’t worry. The guns are just there, and they probably won’t even use them.” I told her, attempting to comfort her.
“Okay, Mommy.” She leaned back against the car seat, and sighed. “As long as they’re good guys, then I won’t be scared.”

After being sworn in, I was ready to make my speech, but I was nervous. I had millions of people to serve, who had voted for ME, to represent their interests. I took a deep breath, stepped up to the podium, and exhaled. “Good morning. I grew up dreaming of one day standing before my country and becoming their leader, and I always hoped that one day I would be able to make a speech such as this one. We have a long four years ahead of us. Our economy is declining; the environment is in the worst state it has been in the past decade; and crime is up an astounding thirteen percent. I want to change all of that, but I am going to need your help. . .” as I continued my speech, my mind began to wander; my thoughts turned to the days of my childhood, and of the years I spent learning and growing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The idea from here is to go into a flashback of the end of eighth grade, the entire ninth grade year, and maybe some of sophmore year. I will post more later.
Ideas or constructive critisism can be immed to me (you should know my sn) or placed in the chatterbox.

Well, I will not talk about my day because it was rather horrible, and it would just sound like I was being a whiny kid, and that is not the impression I want to give anyone of who I am. But I hope all of you had wonderful days.
God bless.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Okay, so hmmm what do I write about?????

First, I will tell you all the clubs/organizations I joined this week at school! I am gonna be one busy girl!
-Environmental Club (well, that doesn't really count I was in it last year)
-Key Club
-Student Legislative Assembly
-Odyssey of the Mind (OM)
-Editorial Board of the Flame (our school newspaper)
-Melting Pot (a celebration of diversity)
-Ammnesty International
(I think that is it, plus dance, the love of my life; and cross country, and swimming, and track) I am gonna be so incredibly busy. But busy is good; do you ever get that feeling when you are so exhausted from what you've been doing, but the feeling of being totally wiped out is the most fulfilling and gratifying thing EVER!!!!

So then I must tell you something and you can give me advice on it.
Ok, I got a letter, or rather, an invitation in the mail. It is an invitation to spend 20 days in Europe as a part of a student program called People to People. It is about being goodwill ambassadors to the rest of the world. Well, the letter said that I had been nominated by a teacher, but I am not so sure. I don't want to sound cynical but these places can get a list of names from just about anywhere, and maybe that's the only reason I got the letter. I would like to go, however, seeing as how I have NEVER been out of the country (other than when I was 8 months old and I went to Canada, but that doesn't count.) This would let me go to England, Ireland, and Wales for twenty days!!!! But I really don't know about this; if my name was just randomly gotten from some list somewhere, then that means that all the other kids I will be traveling with are from a similar list, right? So, maybe this isn't the kind of program I would like to travel with!?!?! And what teacher would nominate me???? Anyways, if any of you know anything about the program let me know so I know if it is credible and if it is worth me going.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Please indulge me while I vent. Okay, so I have an essay type thing due for AP Environmental Science on Monday. That is all well and good, especially because I love to write. Okay, so we have to write about OUR environmental worldview. FINALLY a worthwhile topic in school. So I started researching on the internet because my teacher wants us to site sources other than Miller's textbook. So I am reading and reading and trying to gain an understanding of how other people view their role in the environment. Though I have already made up my mind as to what the environment means to me, I tried to keep an open mind while reading. That is only fair to those people who think differently than I do. Okay, so here is one of the reasons behind the "Anthropocentric Worldview" (by the way, "anthropocentric" means "human-centered.") Alright, so I am reading and I can kinda sorta (but not really) see where they are coming from on most of the reasons until I reach the one that says, "THERE IS ALWAYS MORE." Yes, my friends, people in this world actually believe that our resources are inexhaustible. Okay, well let's use an example. Let's say. . .the world in sufficiently lacking in paper products, so you cut down all the trees you can find. (I know, you can't imagine that actually happening, and it probably can't in a small amount of time, but it can happen over decades.) Now, how exactly are you going to get more trees. Okay, so you say, well, if we recycle the paper we made from those trees, then why to we need more trees? One word. OXYGEN. I know, this is stretching it a little, but I just don't see how people can ACTUALLY BELIEVE that we have an UNLIMITED amount of resources. That is my rant, and truly I am not usually this mean about stuff, but COME ON. This is unreasonable. Yes, technology is improving but that CANNOT and NEVER will be able to make up for what comes naturally. I just don't get it. Tsk tsk. I don't know what this world is coming to.I only hope that I don't live to see us ruin our planet. IT IS THE ONLY ONE WE HAVE!

"We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect." -Aldo Leopold
As KLA would say, "True dat."

I really do keep an open mind when people think differently, but this is craziness!!!!!

Remember "We NEED the Earth, but the Earth DOES NOT need us!"

God bless, and please ponder this and take it to heart.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

So, I had my first day of school yesterday, and let's just say. . .well. . .hmmmm it was not great. Seventh period went well, and I really think I am going to enjoy being in Ms. Talley's class. She is super nice and super funny, with a great sense of humor. (There is only one problem, she has the same face of someone whom I miss terribly, and so there is a twinge of sadness when I am in her class---what is a twinge? I mean, this is serious sadness, but moreover, it is a longing to see this person, not sadness, just missing her terribly.----and that person should know who she is ---- short, dark brown hair, brown eyes, sweet smile, etc) Anyways, health should be fun, I mean it is a combination of a lot of fun physical things, with only one thing missing dance!! So I hobbled around school all day, because as I have come to realize, I have damaged my sheath tendon. A sheath tendon is the covering of the tendon on top of your foot. So I hobbled and limped around school because putting any pressure on this foot was very painful. I was also having a splendid time hopping on my good foot as I went up and down the stairs, what seemed like an endless endeavor. So, the rest of my day went well, I ate lunch in Ms. Talley's room, ALONE. Yes, I know I said that I wouldn't have to eat alone, but I was wrong. Oh well, it gave me time to start my homework. I had two classes after lunch (Spanish III, and Adv. Algebra II). Spanish III is rather intimidating, because all the people in the class are juniors or seniors and they all know each other. I feel kind of young and like an outcast, but I suppose that will change with time. Algebra II went wonderfully, and after reading the entire course packet at home because I was so dogone bored, I have decided that this course is going to be a sinch! Cross country could have been better. Even though my foot hurt, knowing that we have a race on Saturday, I was determined to at least run the warm up run. So Jason, being the gentleman that he is, ran slowly with me so that if I got hurt, then someone would be there. So we are running along laughing and such, and then somehow, I roll my ankle into a small hole or ditch or something. Man oh man did it hurt. So Jason helped me HOP back to the school (we were only about two blocks away or so, and I must give him proper credit, he did offer to carry me back, but being me, I declined. Thanks again Jason!). I got there, and again, Jason rushed t help. He went to the office and then to the teacher's lounge to get ice for my foot, meanwhile I am sitting on the bench, sulking because I would love nothing more at that moment than to run. Eileen, was also at practice, visiting us, and she comforted me and told me that she understood how I felt but that it was better to let it heal than to run on it. So, I heed her advice and sit on the bench for the next hour, trying to entertain myself. I then go home, and get ready for dance. Yes, I know what you are thinking. I AM OUT OF MY MIND! But hear the rest of the story before you pass judgment. Okay, so I get to dance, and ballet is first, so I simply do the exercises with only one leg on the ground. Yes, it was difficult beyond what you can conceive, but I wanted to do it so I did. I quickly figured out that tap and jazz would not be so easy on one foot, so I played the role of receptionist for the next hour and a half. BORING BORING BORING. But I did do something. I did do the ballet, I can go to bat for myself, and say that I am not a total lazy bum because I did do that! I did a lot of stuff (taht I cannot spell) that I never would have thought possible to do on one leg, but I DID IT! I DID IT. And now, I sit at home, on a school day, because I cannot walk on my hurt foot at all. I have been hopping up and down our stairs all the time, and hopefully tomorrow I will be back in school. :)
[This is a side note: All of my teachers were VERY understanding when I emailed them about the situation. I was pleasantly surprised, not only at their understanding nature, but also at the promptness with which they responded to my email! WOW!]

That is all for now. If you read this all I can say is . . . . . . . . . . . .WOW!
God bless.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Alright, about my weekend, though it wasn't too exciting.

I was running on Saturday, and working on some sprinting exercises, especially up and down hills (because I figure that is where people can lose the most time in a race). I have no idea what I did. All I know is a hour later, I couldn't walk on my right foot. It is extremely painful. I currently have it wrapped, and I have done the RICE thing, but other than that, there is not much to do, but sit and wait. Literally, SIT.
My sister came back from Chapel Hill today. And my mom, sister and I all went shopping at TTC, which was fun, or maybe I should say FUN"NY" You see, it is a comical situation when someone is walking around the mall, or no, not walking, hobbling, around the mall, on one foot. Yes, the foot is still in bad shape. Which is terrible news because I have cross country practice all week (yes, I will be there, whether or not I RUN), and at least 3 hours of dance each night. (sometimes more!) PLUS, and just to make me even more miserable, our first meet of the season is on Saturday. Let's just put this plainly THIS SUCKS! I want to run. I sat most of the season out last year do to a knee injury from dance, and then I got shin splints. I do not intend to have a repeat of last season on ANY TERMS! I also drove my mom around most of the weekend. I love to drive, and my mom says I am pretty good. :)
Well, I guess I should go back to my old saying:
I can complain because I sprained or twisted my foot, or I can rejoice because it IS NOT broken!
Yes, there is always a silver lining! And I am just the one to find it!!!!!!!!
There are bad things, but you can look at them, and whine and pout and stuff, or you can change your attitude. For instance, I plan to take a jump rope to practice tomorrow and jump rope on one foot so that I am at least moving around and strengthening my leg.

Oh, and the best part is I don't have to eat alone this year. My friend told me that I could eat with her group of people during lunch. HOORAY! no more lunch times alone!

So, re-cap My sister is home for a week and a half! School and dance start tomorrow; my foot is NOT broken, and I won't eat lunch alone at all this year! Can life get any better? I ask you this, CAN LIFE GET ANY ANY ANY GREATER THAN THIS????????????? Wow, I am the luckiest person in the entire world. I could ask for nothing more! (and this is to be read in a serios, non-sarcastic tone. I am completely serious when I say this. I am soooo happy!)


Wednesday, August 06, 2003

This entry is dedicated to Jason, who gets me thinking! Thanks Jason!
So Jason and I went to Goodberry's yesterday evening, and had a very nice, long discussion.

Here is a portion of our conversation that really got me thinking:

"Life is so weird," I conclude, sighing.

"Very weird," he responds.

"Hold on. Life is weird, right? Alright, so. . .oh never mind; I'm being too philisophical."

"No, no. Go ahead."

"Well, if life is weird, that implies that everything in life is weird right? So what makes life weird? I mean, what are we basing the comparison on?"

We sat there thinking, and then we laughed. "Sorry," I said. "I just thought that if life is all we know, then how do we know what is weird?"

And his response was so simple and so obvious, and yet TRUE! "God. We are comparing it to what we know of God, and what we imagine of Heaven."

Wow, all I can say is "Wisdom is acquired at ALL ages. It is not something that comes with age." Jason is a prime example of this. Jason, thanks for getting me thinking, and for teaching me so much!

God bless.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Alright more lecturing from ME! lol.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that
we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades
away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make
a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to
be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want
to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you
strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. The
happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just
make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't
go forward in life until you let go of your past pain and failures and heartaches.

My only comment is spoken as a quotation of an amazing person "True dat." (-Kelly Atkinson).

God bless.

Monday, August 04, 2003

"When your world is closing, life is coming at you.
When you're in the darkest corner I'm the one who'll come and catch ya
When your life is wondering down some no where highway
Try a different point of view and do your best to see things my way.
Looking down there is brother facing brother
fighting one on one
But from the ground you can look up at the stars and see the words
faded high above you.

Gonna change the world, gonna make it right
Gonna get down on my knees tonight
Gonna change it all Gonna find a way
Gonna start to change the world today

There is not a book that you cannot revise.
When you're in the darkest corner all you do
is shine your light up
When the other guy is bigger than the sky
Just before he's gonna getcha
You can always try a smile first
All around hear a million lonely people as they say
But there's a sound of a world that's full of laughter
because now I know I'm better at Hello

Gonna change the world, gonna make it right
Gonna get down on my knees tonight
Gonna change it all Gonna find a way
Gonna start to change the world today

When something is wrong
Only we can turn it around
So give me your hand my brother
and walk together
cause we've got a mountain to climb.

Gonna change the world, gonna make it right
Gonna get down on my knees tonight
Gonna change it all Gonna find a way
Gonna start to change the world today
Alright so now for the section of "Funny Quotes From Today"

"Wow! Look how pretty I am!" (Emily, Age 2 while looking in the mirror.)

"Everybody should run with a partner in case something happens. Unless, of course, your name is Jason Kennedy. Then you HAVE to run by yourself 'cause no one can keep up with you. (Me, while we were discussing safety rules for cross country)

"Why don't you just sleep on the trampoline in the back yard? It's tons cooler out there." (the father I nanny for when discussing the air conditioning)

"Can we play football this week? I mean, frisbee. Can we play frisbee this week? Well, actually football could work too, as long as it is tackle football." (a girl at cross country practice)

"No. We don't run until we get to the corner. It's a TRADITION! We just CAN'T run until we get to the corner. That's just the way it is." (hmmmm. . .hmmmmm . . . .someone at cross country practice)

"When Geoff's not here, I have to improvise. And this is the next best thing." (Me during stretches because Geoff always helped me stretch, but he wasn't there today, so I had to grab my ankle, while standing, and pull it towards my head."

"I got it! Let's all lie down on the ground. Heat rises right?" (Me because this house is so darn hot!)

"Why am I so dirty? Look I am covered in dirt. Oh, wait! It's because I am stretching in a pile of dirt! I am so stupid." (Melissa Evett)

"Most kids can't even do the crossword puzzle clues. And here is Lindsay making up the entire puzzle. Geez. And she's not even in school yet!" (the guy I nanny for)

"Hello? Are you there? Have you had a heat stroke?" (Josh, talking to me on AIM, while I was idle, during the heat wave that is passing through my house)

"Jason, since you are not a student here. You can't win the prize tomorrow. But you can win it for me. And I will share a percentage of it with you." (Dane)

"So, Jason, if you are gonna be at practice during school next week, why don't you come to class with me and take notes and stuff FOR me?"

"Tweenies and Clay Aiken are the bestest. But I don't like those guys that share their name with that bug, or that guy with the funny black hair." (Maddy, age five, in reference to the Beatles and Elvis)

"Why don't kids ever pretend they are going to the Buddhist Temple?" (the guy I nanny for after his kids told him they were pretending to go to church)

So that was my day today. It is sooooo hot in here. I am sweating a lot, but hey as they say,
"You can complain because roses have thorns or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."
So I can complain because I have no air conditioning or I can rejoice because I have a roof over my head. I choose the latter one.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

It is 10:56 PM, right now. This weekend I got tons of school supplies, and a new bed set. It's a pillow case, a fitted sheet, a top sheet, and a comforter. They are kind of a tie dye print, which is wild but cool. And soon, i am going to be painting my room my favorite color! . . . . . .YELLOW! Bright, sunshiny, happy, yellow! And then I got a husband pillow (it's hard to describe if you don't know what I am talking about), which is bright orange, and furry. I also got a big smiley face rug, which is a yellow smiley face, with its tongue out. It is really cool. And right now, it is 92 degrees in my house. Our air conditioner's compressor broke, and I am dripping with sweat. In fact, it is about 10 degrees cooler outside than inside. The fans are going but they are all just moving hot air around. I am miserable, but hey it's all good!

I went from having a sore throat caused by a virus to having a cold (headache, fever, chills, coughing and sneezing non stop) to having a sinus infection. Maybe I can kick this thing, whatever it is before school starts.

Cross country starts tomorrow! YAY! Well I should go, and I can't really type right now because the keys and my hands have no friction; my fingers keep sliding off them!

Ahhh it is hot in here.

Stay cool all.