I am very down today, but really I am only longing for a certain friend. She is no longer here, as she decided to take her own life. The pain is indescribable, but I have been comforted by someone special, who has assured me that the pain does go away. "It becomes more and more dull, and then recedes, but it takes time." So at this point, I am waiting for the time to pass. I am so sad, but I know that she would not want me to be, which makes it even harder. I just keep asking why? Why. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . how could I have let this happen? Why? Why? Why?
Sorry if I am depressing you all. Somedays, I hardly think about it, which is terrible to say, but other days, it is ALL I think about. It is tearing me up inside. (If you are clueless, scroll down and read the story that I wrote about her. It is called "Frozen Blue Berries.")

Now, onto something less depressing. Hmmmmm. . . . . . . . . .Well, let's see. . . . . . . . You know what I really enjoy doing? (don't laugh at me) When my mom and sister and I go out to eat at Applebees or Rockola or somewhere like that, we always sit in a booth. My mom and sister sit next to each other, and I sit opposite both of them. So, a familiar song comes on, and guess what!?!? I start dancing in the booth and singing the song. My sister is so embarassed to be sitting at the same table with me. She is always loudly whispering, "Lindsay! STOP IT! You're embarassing ME and I'm sure you are embarassing youself!" Heck no!I like to dance and be goofy. I have been dancing since I was two, and I have been acting goofy even longer! That is just me, but I think to a cetain extent, people admire you when you stop caring what other people think, and just have a good time. Cause. . ."All I wanna do is have some fun. I gotta feeling I'm not the only one." Hehehe. Yes, I am weird, but I am proud to be weird. My friend "Dianna" and I always did stuff like that together in public! We had the greatest times. Like one day, we were at some restaurant or something, and Diana says to the waiter (we are like 12 at the time), "Are you single? I mean, are you available? Because my friend right here is totally interested!" The waiter laughed, and said that we had made his day. I think that was a time when being silly paid off for more than the person being silly. We had made his day a little brighter by joking around and being ourselves. So, one day I am on a distance run with my coach and friend Cati, and we're having a great time until we arrive at school (1/2 way through the run) and it starts POURING rain! Well, we wait inside for a few minutes and it dies down, so we continue our run. For them, that is a normal rest of the run, but for me. . .well let's just say, I loved the fact that our drainage system had left LOTS of puddles along the route. So my new game becomes, run run run, jump, land with feet together in a puddle. I think that i actually got the two of them wet at one point. But hey. It was so much fun. Being goofy is the greatest. I highly recommend it. Love to all, and hope that I un-depressed you.


God Bless,
LC