I should write but I'm sooo busy. I have the scrapbook to do, AP Exams, the SAT, SAT IIs, finals, end-of-the-year projects, and I got a job today...plus campaigning for senior class secretary and rep.

Never a dull moment.

I don't think anyone still reads this, but it's fun to write anyway...
Life is crazy busy and stressful right now. It's like a million emotions all stacked up, and suddenly they finally start tumbling down and you realize you weren't made to handle all of this. I always imagined I would be excited, thrilled, ecstatic to get out of the house and go to college, but lately, instead of dreaming of it, I've been worrying about it more and more. Partly because I don't want to leave home, but that's really not going to be the hard part. Mostly, I'm scared of the future. That sounds nuts, I know. It's just that I'm afraid I'll screw up--- pick the wrong school, major in the wrong subject--- and ruin my future...then I won't get a good job or go to grad school, I won't marry a good guy, I won't have kids, etc. It's a weird anxiety that I can't seem to shake...oh well.
UVA, UNC-CH and Meredith are still my top three, and I don't see them changing...at least not now. UVA because it's humanities department is the coolest, and that's 1/2 of my planned majors. UNC-CH because...well, it's a good school, and I think I would enjoy going to school there. Meredith is smaller than the other two, with no boys (not sure how I feel about that...) but I'll decide more after Ms. Talley takes me to look at it. Of all of them, UVA has the prettiest campus. And UNC gets a plus for being near my church. I haven't really looked into the Spanish departments of any of them, but I need to. I want to major in history and spanish, and then I want to teach, so probably a Bachelor's in Secondary Ed. I'm thinking of teaching for two years, and then going to med school. It'll be most-excellent (<-- that's a Marsha-ism). I don't know yet, though.
I miss Chile. I find myself zoning out of discussions, conversations, reading, whatever, and thinking of Chile. It consumes my thoughts and my life, really. I can't say that it'll always be so special to me--- I've never been to another country, (other than Canada), so I guess my infatuation is in large part due to the newness of being outside the U.S., and not so much the beauty or charm of the country itself, or at least, that's what people keep telling me...I doubt it. I want to work with Doctors without Borders or the Mercy Corps...maybe in Chile, but first I want to cure AIDS and Cancer.
Back to emotions...Last year I felt this deep saddness when the senior class graduated, because I had known them for two years. But I'm finding that this year will be all the harder...And saying goodbye to the teachers that are leaving will be hard too. So far, I know Ms. Tranquillo and Ms. Greenwalt are leaving. Boo. (<-- that's a Maggie-ism.)
And trying to find a job for the summer is impossible. Too many adults are unemployed, so there's a lack of need for teens in the workplace...no bueno. I've applied at JiffyLube...wouldn't it be funny for me to work there??? :)

Last night I realized just how much I miss Chile--- and everyone there.
Juan, Orlando, and the other teachers at the Gaia School have MSN Messenger (the hotmail version of AIM), so I downloaded it in order to be able to talk to them. Well, Orlando and Juan got on around the same time, and they start IM-ing me. It was sooo nice to know I was talking to them (even if I occassionally cheated and used an online translator to figure out what they were saying...) and then they both surprised me with the fact that both of them had a web camera. So not only was I talking to two of the 6 people I miss dearly, but I got to SEE them too. Sure, it was only a digital image, but it was them, moving, breathing nonetheless. :) They waved to me, and being the idiot I am, I tried to wave back--- which would've worked, 'cept I don't have a web cam, so they couldn't see me.

I'm trying to go back to Chile for three weeks this summer. I'm working on finding and earning the money I need. I know it's crazy that the only country I've ever been to out of the U.S. is the one I wanna live in--- nope, I don't really care to see the rest of the world. Course, it would be nice, but Chile is all I need. And at some point, I'd like to visit the University of Santiago, because some part (if not all) of my college career is going to be spent there...barring the admissions process 'n such. But again, that needs to be added on to a time when I'm down there--- I am NOT paying the airline prices just to visit a college...seems a little silly, especially since Expedia now has its lowest prices (for roundtrip to Santiago) at about $1200...WOW.

Greenwalt's Scrapbook--- yeah, needs to be worked on...in fact, I'm gonna go do that now. Later. More Chile stories to come, I promise.