I don't think anyone still reads this, but it's fun to write anyway...
Life is crazy busy and stressful right now. It's like a million emotions all stacked up, and suddenly they finally start tumbling down and you realize you weren't made to handle all of this. I always imagined I would be excited, thrilled, ecstatic to get out of the house and go to college, but lately, instead of dreaming of it, I've been worrying about it more and more. Partly because I don't want to leave home, but that's really not going to be the hard part. Mostly, I'm scared of the future. That sounds nuts, I know. It's just that I'm afraid I'll screw up--- pick the wrong school, major in the wrong subject--- and ruin my future...then I won't get a good job or go to grad school, I won't marry a good guy, I won't have kids, etc. It's a weird anxiety that I can't seem to shake...oh well.
UVA, UNC-CH and Meredith are still my top three, and I don't see them changing...at least not now. UVA because it's humanities department is the coolest, and that's 1/2 of my planned majors. UNC-CH because...well, it's a good school, and I think I would enjoy going to school there. Meredith is smaller than the other two, with no boys (not sure how I feel about that...) but I'll decide more after Ms. Talley takes me to look at it. Of all of them, UVA has the prettiest campus. And UNC gets a plus for being near my church. I haven't really looked into the Spanish departments of any of them, but I need to. I want to major in history and spanish, and then I want to teach, so probably a Bachelor's in Secondary Ed. I'm thinking of teaching for two years, and then going to med school. It'll be most-excellent (<-- that's a Marsha-ism). I don't know yet, though.
I miss Chile. I find myself zoning out of discussions, conversations, reading, whatever, and thinking of Chile. It consumes my thoughts and my life, really. I can't say that it'll always be so special to me--- I've never been to another country, (other than Canada), so I guess my infatuation is in large part due to the newness of being outside the U.S., and not so much the beauty or charm of the country itself, or at least, that's what people keep telling me...I doubt it. I want to work with Doctors without Borders or the Mercy Corps...maybe in Chile, but first I want to cure AIDS and Cancer.
Back to emotions...Last year I felt this deep saddness when the senior class graduated, because I had known them for two years. But I'm finding that this year will be all the harder...And saying goodbye to the teachers that are leaving will be hard too. So far, I know Ms. Tranquillo and Ms. Greenwalt are leaving. Boo. (<-- that's a Maggie-ism.)
And trying to find a job for the summer is impossible. Too many adults are unemployed, so there's a lack of need for teens in the workplace...no bueno. I've applied at JiffyLube...wouldn't it be funny for me to work there??? :)