Macaroni Soup

It's hard for me sometimes to not get bogged down in the mundane. Life just feels kind of empty, and yet I run myself ragged on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy. I'm just... devoid of something.

I look around my room tonight and wonder...
-Why it's midnight and I still haven't eaten dinner...
-When I'll have time to do laundry
-When my room got to be such a mess
-Why I still have homework to do
-Why I don't see my friends as often as I'd like
-Why I feel so... empty.

And I realize that today was a busy day. I went to both services at church and then spent an hour after the second service talking to people and waiting to chat with the pastor and ask him the hundred burning questions I had. And then a few of us went to lunch. And that was nice. And then Laura Jo and I sat in the grass on-campus and talked... about everything... about nothing. And that was WONDERFUL. And then I took a forty-five minute nap... a much-needed nap. And then there was the CA mandatory meeting (it's called an in-service). And then I did do homework, I did, but by this time it was 7:15pm. And at 8:30 I had a leadership meeting for InterVarsity. And then I had stuff come up on my hall that needed to be dealt with. Maybe I need a 28 hour day... but probably, I would fill that up too. Probably, there would still be things that went unaddressed.

And yet for all the running around I do, for all the work that I am able to complete in a day, a week, a month, I still feel like I'm not doing anything significant. I guess I want to make a difference. I want to do something. I want to affect change. I want to fulfill my purpose in life. I want to be able to look back on my life and be happy with who I was, what I tried to accomplish.
So tonight, I made "macaroni soup" (easy mac with a little too much water); I worked on homework, talked to friends online, and realized (again) that God is in the mundane. He works in us and through us regardless of what we are doing in life, whether it's being a CA or being a friend, whether it's when we're having a cup of coffee with someone or whether we're babysitting; whatever we do, we do unto Him. And I guess I need to be more willing to be used even in the places I don't feel like God can use me.