Grown-Up Christmas List

I hate this time of year. Oh yes, I love giving thanks, anticipating and celebrating the birth of our Savior, and the impending joy of this season. But, with my birthday three days before Christmas, and two different families to celebrate Christmas and my birthday with, a lot of nagging goes on. Everyone wants to know what I want. "Nothing," is not an acceptable answer. But for whatever reason "want" and "need" are so synonymous in my mind. I don't need anything so I feel like I don't want anything. 

My heart is so broken for the world around me that I feel unreasonably selfish wanting anything that I don't absolutely need. And I have more than enough as it is. I have food, a place to live, and I'm on my way to having a degree with which to obtain a career. 

I can't describe to my family that I just want other people to have enough too. Sure, we go to the trees and get a name printed on an angel-shaped piece of cardstock and go purchase of a few things or adopt a family for Christmas, but my heart is so burdened for all the other children, families, people, even animals out there who are lonely, cold, hungry...hurting. 

So here's my lifelong wish

My grown-up Christmas list

Not for myself

But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win

And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed 

The grandest sight to see

Was something lovely 

Wrapped beneath our tree.

Well, Heaven surely knows

That packages and bows

Can never heal 

A hurting human soul...

I don't want to become apathetic or to even care less about everyone else. I just don't want to be so weighed down by it in a season that is supposed to be full of joy and excitement.