Thursday, April 03, 2008

Upheaval and unease

I feel like my life is in upheaval right now. Every thing seems to be changing at a rate I cannot keep up with, heading in an unexpected, and sometimes terribly wrong, direction in an out-of-control-feeling way... I told Laura Jo this and she said, "But really, Linds, it isn't." I didn't so much like that answer... but I realized that she wasn't trying to invalidate my feelings, as I initially thought, so much as trying to comfort me and remind me of the reality of the situation(s).

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
At your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
-Psalm 16:5-11

I like the phrases "secure," "not be shaken," "not abandon," "beautiful inheritance." THIS is the reality, and even though my feelings are valid, God's not off his throne, He hasn't and won't abandon me, and His plan is divine and perfect... so upheaval can only be at most, temporary and earthly. That may not be any great revelation for you, O Reader, but it was for me.

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