His

Intervarsity has been a huge part of my life since I entered college, and it became an even bigger part of my life when I applied to be on leadership at the end of my freshman year. Since then, it has been one of the hardest and best experiences of my life.

Now, as our chapter faces a tumultuous future in the next few months, I found myself trying to take on responsibility for everyone and everything. Somehow I thought I could hold everything together, make it all okay, and keep everything under control on my own. The worst wasn't that I thought I could-- it was that I thought I had to.

I felt this burden of responsibility to make sure the chapter kept breathing, kept going, kept...whatever...in the face of an uncertain few months. I thought that God had allowed the "worst case scenario" to come true and I thought it was up to me to fix everything.

I thought I could single-handedly (or maybe not single-handedly, but at least partially) carry our chapter through this. I realized that I had taken control from the God of the Universe. I thought that He couldn't or wouldn't see us through this. I thought that the Creator would allow our chapter to self-destruct. I thought the Healer would never restore our chapter. I thought the Almighty could fix other people's problems and attend to other people's needs, but that I would be the one to see Intervarsity through.

And God showed me something...(surprise surprise). If I am on leadership or not, Intervarsity is His. If I go to meetings or gatherings, Intervarsity is His. If I want to serve or not, Intervarsity is His. And in the midst of this trial, Intervarsity is His. He reminded me of His faithfulness. Of His goodness. Of His nearness. And of His love. And when I realized how sinful it was to think that I was so amazing that I had to take care of everything and everyone, He reminded me of His mercy and forgiveness.

The Chapter is His.
The University is His.
The world is His.
I am His.

And whether I have it together, whether I am hurting, whether I am leading, whether I am scared, whether I am ready, whether I understand, He is there. And He is in control.