Friday, September 24, 2010

How's Married Life?

Everyone's favorite question for me right now is: "So, how's married life?" And I appreciate their genuine interest in my life. Really, I do.

And believe me, I want with all my heart to gush and tell them that it's amazing. That it's fairytale-esque. That my husband and I eat dinner together and talk about our days. That while he does the dishes, I hover in the kitchen regaling him with stories from work or class. That we settle onto the couch and I do homework on the laptop while we watch some tv or just talk. And truthfully, I believe, this is what people want to hear.

But that's simply not how it is. When I left for work this morning, I kissed my husband and told him I would see him on Monday. (It's Friday). I spend the majority of my nights alone, while he works forty-five minutes away. We go for days at a time without seeing each other at all-- because I leave for work or internship or school before he gets back home around 7am. And he leaves again for work by 5pm and most of the time I'm not home again yet. Less than two months of marriage so far and it's far from what people imagine.

I don't mean to complain, but I get tired to telling people how wonderful it is because frankly, if I had to sum up marriage in one word, it would be "lonely."

This is the part where you tell me that I shouldn't bend the truth; that I should open up and tell people the reality of what marriage is like for me, at least. And sometimes, when I think they can stomach it, I do. But 99% of the time I get one of three responses:
1. Well, you should just be glad he has a job at all. (And I am. WE are. So very blessed).
2. It will get better. (Yes, I'm sure it will but right now, it is difficult).
3. One day, you'll wish he was working opposite schedules because you'll always be on each other's nerves OR "absence makes the heart grow fonder" (Thanks, but NO).



And so, I simply leave it at: "I love being married." This is truth. I do. It is hard-- harder than I could have ever imagined. But for the few days that we have spent together, it is remarkable. And if our schedules are like this until we retire, I still wouldn't trade it for the world.

25 comments:

Emerly Sue said...

I love you. Thanks for writing this. Your honesty is refreshing. (:

David Payne said...

I feel honored that when I asked that question I got the honest answer that you apparently were not giving to everyone. Sucks that those first two responses you seem to get a lot are true but empty. I hate those.

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sidrah said...

its comes from the heart!!truthful and funny at the same time!!:)

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Rob Jager said...

3 years later after this post...curious. How are things now? Did you two talk about the challenges you're facing? Did it work out? Did one give up?

Curious...

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