My Heart Will Choose to Say...

"God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. So when you dont understand, when you dont see His plan, When you cant trace His hand, trust His heart." ~Babbie Mason

I don't know what to say. I'm so frustrated with everything that's gone on. Drew and I broke up. I found out that my ovary isn't where it's supposed to be, meaning I'll have surgeries in the near future and may have a lot of trouble ever having children, if I can at all. Our Intervarsity Chapter is going through a very difficult and rough transition, and I feel like a huge burden is on me to carry us through because I will be on leadership all next year, and I have been serving the longest of anyone currently on leadership. And to boot, I have mono, so I am exhausted constantly and have not really processed anything emotionally because physically it's hard to just get through the day.

I don't know how to see the bigger picture and frankly, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of asking why, of being frustrated, of the tears, of the heartache, and of the wondering when the next "blow" will be dealt.

I'm trying to trust, to have faith. But I'm really struggling.

"Who can hold the stars and my weary heart?
Who can see everything?
I've fallen so hard, sometimes I feel so far
But not beyond Your reach.
...Whatever's in front of me, help me to sing Hallelujah."