Bowing Out

I learned an important lesson just fifteen minutes ago: how to bow out. I have been an RA (resident advisor) for over a year, and have learned to utilize my resources and pass the ball, when things are too much for me to handle alone. They drill into our heads the idea that we are never alone, that there are always others to go to.

BUT, I quit my job this past Friday, for a number of reasons. So tonight when someone came to me with a monumental problem, you'd think protocol and resources would be jumping out at me, that what had been drilled into my head at every training opportunity would come naturally tonight. Well, friends, it didn't.

I stumbled through advice. I hestitated to make a decision. I had more questions than answers. I felt more alone in dealing with this situation than I have in a while. And after calling a couple people, I knew what I had to do: bow out. This wasn't a good time for me to handle this and there were plenty of other people around to help, so what was I doing? I know that at this point in my life, the stress and anxiety of everything that's going on is almost more than I can bear on a daily basis, and here I was trying to take on someone else's needs too.

So, after being given "permission" (or orders, whatever) to pass the buck to someone else, I did. And I learned an important lesson: that bowing out isn't selfish, sometimes it's selfless, because you know your limits well enough to know that you could end up doing more harm than good; and it means giving others an opportunity to come around this person and love and support them.