Newness...

It's shaping up to look like 2009 is going to be full of a LOT of things that I've never done before, am afraid I'll fail miserably at doing, (and apparently, from reading this sentence thus far, a grand opportunity for a lot of pessimism...lovely), and in general a lot of "scary" things that are going to happen. 

Let's see. 

I start my job at David's Bridal (read the previous post if you want to know how much I'm fretting about that one). 

I am the Oasis Coordinator for Intervarsity. That means I lead a team of people who plan our weekly Large Group meetings for between 60 and 150 people. This includes worship, speaker, announcements, games, emcees, and a whole lot of other things I'm still figuring out. It also means I'm on Exec for IV; both of these are things that I have no idea how to do. I've never even been involved in planning an Oasis meeting before...this should be interesting. 

I have moved into my first apartment. (Read: off-campus, no meal plan). I will need to learn the smaller details of off-campus life: commuting with time to get to park and get to class, grocery shopping and gasp: cooking meals (I'm a good cook; it'll just require more time...), and yadda yadda yadda. 

And this one should be the easiest, but I'm terribly afraid to fail at it. I'm the Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding. Cool, except that means I plan a bachelorette party, a couple showers, keep her from freaking out the closer we get, etc. 

Anyway, I'm scared. There's so much "new" happening and so much "old" not happening. So much "comfortable" leaving. It reminds me of a Sara Groves song, so once again, I'm going to stop rambling about my life and relate it to a coherently written song:

I don't want to leave here, don't want to stay,

Feels like pinching to me, either way. 

But the places I long for the most are the places where I've been

They are calling out to me, like a long-lost friend.

It's not about losing faith; it's not about trust.

It's all about comfortable when you move so much. 

And the place I was wasn't perfect, but I had found a way to live

And it wasn't milk or honey but then neither is this. 

I've been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard and I want to back

But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned

And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned. 

The past is so tangible, I know it by heart.

Familiar things are never easy to discard.

And I was dying for some freedom but now I hesitate to go

I am caught between the "promised" and the things I know. 

And I know that in my inadequacies, God will show up. I know that in most of these things, I won't, and maybe can't, "fail" in the normal sense of the word. I guess the song is really accurate when it says: "I am caught between the 'promised' and the things I know." I'm caught in between what I know, what has become comfortable, even if it wasn't "milk and honey," and the things I know God has in store, that He has promised to work together for good. Why is that concept so hard? 

Terrified...Absolutely

I officially start my job this week. As in, I will be working one-on-one with brides, mothers of brides/grooms, bridal parties...you get the gist. As in, after one hour of sort-of shadowing a bridal consultant who's done this for almost two years, I'm on my own. As in, after 12 hours of training, (read: going through a manual in a group and briefly looking through the stock, which has since changed to feature the Spring Collection), I'm flying solo. 

BAD IDEA. I don't know the new merchandise (I barely knew the old merchandise). I don't know where everything is located. Or how to pick out the perfect tiara and jewelry to "accessorize" the dress. Or how to suggest dress styles based on body type. Or how to take a customer's style preference and suggest more dresses that are similar. Or how to use the cash register. 

And I haven't memorized my employee number yet. AHHHHH. 

I'm terrified. I feel so utterly incompetent. 

Maybe I Am Missing Something...

Right next to Campus is a Walgreens, on the corner. As I was going in the other day, I noticed something that made me stop and wonder...

In front of the stoor, as is so common this time of year, was a Salvation Army employee ringing a bell, asking for donations. And on the street corner was a homeless man, with a sign that said: "Homeless veteran. Anything helps. God bless." And I wondered...how ironic it seemed that the Salvation Army employee stood not forty feet from the homeless veteran, that people were giving money to the employee, that the homeless man continued to be avoided.

I am not in any way doubting the good things that the Salvation Army does in our community, as in many others around the country. I just found it odd.

On a whim...

As many of you know, I have been helping with almost every detail of Laura Jo's wedding-- and enjoying it thoroughly. As a part of that, I went with her to many different bridal shops to try on gowns... and the more I learned, the more the sales associates (or bridal consultants) would just let me do their job for them and leave us alone.

So the other day, my friend Sarah asked me to go with her to David's Bridal to look at gowns for her wedding. I agreed because it's becoming something that I enjoy and that I'm knowledgeable about.

Anyway, the bridal consultant was busy helping someone else and joked around with me about doing her job for her. I joked back, asking if they were hiring. "Yes, we are," she told me. "And you should get an application." I went to the front and got an application and was planning to take it home, and with exams and everything going on right now, I figured, I might get around to this. Besides, what good would an employee discount do me at David's? (actually that thought didn't cross my mind at the time). Anyway, the lady stopped me and told me to fill it out while I was still in the store and went to get the assistant manager, who promptly asked me when the soonest was I could come in for an interview. So, the following day I had an interview with the manager, who asked me two questions and then talked about job duties and my "future at David's Bridal."

I go in to observe on Saturday and then I start training on Sunday. Wow. Who would've thought that I would be a bridal consultant at 20? But apparently I did something right that day because the whole store is talking about me. Lovely.

It's a job and I am so blessed to have found one that will work with my schedule next semester. I'm kind of excited and a little nervous too.