Spartan-land Update

So, there's not a whole lot to write about here in Spartan-land. Amanda #2 and I climbed the rock wall, which was a blast. I went to a luau with InterVarsity, and at every club meeting or function I feel more and more like I belong. There are days when I feel like I've known these people all my life.
Everyone on campus is sick with a sore-throat. So I've been putting on hand-sanitizer and washing my hands like it's my job.
I have officially learned the value of power-napping in college. I have about an hour between classes, but my dorm is about 3/4 of a mile from the buildings where my classes are. So it takes me about 8-10 minutes to walk back to my dorm. At that point, I have exactly one hour until my next class starts. I can then sleep for about 30-35 minutes and then power-walk back to the buildings where my classes are. It's nice to get that extra exercise and the naps, however short, are refreshing.
One thing I've noticed about a lot of the people in campus ministries is that they are completely welcoming of me and others. They are eager to have lunch with us, hang out, talk online, or just call to see how I'm doing. It continues to amaze me how welcome I feel when Tiffany and Brandon stop me in the cafeteria and have a 10 minute conversation with me, just because. Or when someone says hi to me as I'm walking to class or when someone asks if I want to have lunch with them...I guess I had assumed that they would welcome me when I was at meetings, but beyond that their "job" would be "done." But it isn't and it isn't a job to them. It's really nice to feel like people know you, care about you and want to hang out with you.

The next step is to get a job so that I have something to do with myself on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons.

Mondays I thought would be the long days, and they are, but they are certainly nothing compared to high school. In high school, I went to classes from 9am-2:40pm with a 25 minute break for lunch (I know I shouldn't complain, because most kids start hs at 7:30am...). But here, I have class from 9-9:50, then a break until 11. Then class from 11-11:50, then a break for lunch. Then I have class from 1-1:50 and a ten minute break until my other class from 2-3:15pm. That schedule happens on Mondays and Wednesdays. Then I usually have some downtime in my dormroom until later that evening--- every other Monday I have another class from 6-8pm, and on Wednesdays I have InterVarsity small group from 7-9pm. I'm busy but I love it. I would like for my day to start later than 9am, but other than that I really, really love my schedule. And thus far, my classes are going well.

And the work load? As of the third week, it's still easier than high school. We'll see if that lasts, though!!!!


I hope you never look back, but you never forget
All the ones who loved you in the place you left.
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get.
Oh, and you find God's grace in every mistake,
And always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah more than anything...
My wish for you,
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to.
Your dreams stay big,
Your worries stay small.
You never need to carry more than you can hold.
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
And wants the same things too...
Yeah, this is my wish.

This week has certainly been fun. We had a pink-eye scare earlier in the week, when I kept waking up unable to open my eyes because of the crud that had accumulated overnight. But my eyes never turned pink, so ultimately I decided it was simply allergies. Then there came another problem, I kept getting dizzy and I fell a few times, as a result. This scared my mom like crazy, but I continued to deny it was a problem, and eventually the dizziness and consequently, the falls, subsided after about two days.
My classes are going well. I found out in Spanish, after my first quiz of the year, that when a quiz is over, you simply leave. There is no bell to dismiss you after the full fifty minutes. It was kinda fun--- to get to leave class as soon as I finished my work.
I got to play volleyball with one of the campus ministries here at UNCG last night, which was fun. There were a lot of bugs and the sand we played in was nasty mixed with sweat, but it was a great time nonetheless. And my team didn't seem to care when my serves failed miserably or when I hit the ball in the wrong direction.

There's a song by Carrie Underwood that has lyrics that I really like, especially at this point in my life, and I wanted to put a few up here:
"And just like every Sunday,
I called Mama up last night
And even when it's not,
I tell her everything's alright.
....
Yeah I still feel like
I'm where I'm supposed to be
But don't forget
To remember me."

Ever wonder...

Do you ever wonder...
-What the world looks like to an ant? A giraffe?
-Why certain songs get stuck in your head?
-Who decided we should bathe, wear deodorant, etc?
-Why we buy pens and then have to buy white-out...pencils have the whole writing, eraser thing in one package!!!???
-What your first thought was when you were born?
-Why smell is connected to memory?
-What the future holds?
-Why women like to grow their hair and shave their legs, and men like to have shorter hair (gross generalization) but don't shave their legs or their faces?
-Why you can hardly taste food when you plug your nose?
-If you can, in fact, actually, truly make a difference in the world?
-How long you could go without sleeping and still function normally?
-If an ocean wave ever falls in the same place more than once?
-Who decided that green would mean "go" and red would mean "stop"?
-Why we sometimes have the sudden urge to get up and dance?
-Who you'd be if you weren't you?
-Why liquids go up the nasal passage when we laugh?
-If people's expectations, criticisms and labels of you greatly or minimally affect who you become?
-What makes us feel sad about some things and happy about others?
-If there really is one right person for you out there?
-What it would feel like to fall passionately, deeply, madly, hopelessly in love?

Still Adjusting, but Loving It!

Last night proved to be the most challenging so far...and it had nothing to do with UNC-G at all. It was hard for me because Thursday nights are basketball nights at church during the summer. And it wasn't that I needed to be there, or even really wanted to be there (though I admit that I did kinda want to be there), but I am used to being there. So for whatever reason I struggled all day with this nagging desire to go back to Chapel Hill, just because that's what I do on Thursday nights. This sounds stupid to many of you, I'm sure. And I'll admit it's odd. But it's a lot like how I felt the day after the last day of school--- I had an urge the next morning at 7am to get up and get ready for school. I didn't want to be back in class doing gobs of work, but I think for many people there is some comfort to be taken in a routine. But I allowed the time yesterday evening to pass without going and getting in my car...and I went to InterVarsity at 7pm. I had a wonderful time and met a really awesome girl named Amanda from Roanoke Rapids. She and I instantly bonded and hung out for a good hour or so after IV was over. We talked about guys (with some giggling involved), and college, and classes, and our homes, and our families, our roommates, our churches, our youth leaders, and also we talked a lot about how difficult we're finding it to be to meet people that you think you can have a meaningful friendship with. Needless to say, we found each other's company to be just what we needed as we near the end of our first week at college.
About my comment on meaningful relationships...I guess that sounded kinda haughty of me...to say that it was hard to meet people I wanted to have a meaningful relationship with...and that's not how I meant it at all. The truth is that I've met people here that I am more than happy to be friends with and that I will socialize with, but as far as really being able to talk to them about deep, important (to me), hard stuff, I'm not sure I've met those kinds of people yet. Amanda is definitely one of those people, though, and I think we're going to become great friends. She is going home this weekend, (so it's tempting for me to drive toward my home too...but I'm resisting the urge...I'm still trying to spread my wings and I don't need to let them rest just yet), so I'm on my own for the weekend, but that's okay. There's plenty of work to do and plenty of rest to catch up on.
I guess that's about it...
Well, actually, for those of you who don't know, I had to drop one of my classes...Actually, I didn't have to, but the teacher thought it was probably going to be over my head as a freshman. And, whether she's right or not, I think that I've got enough difficult classes and curriculum and there are seven more semesters to take that class...so I dropped Sexuality in Historical Perspective and added Religion and Contemporary Culture, which, after only one day, seems like it'll be interesting enough.

So my weeks now look like this:
Monday:
9-9:50am (20th Century World)
11-11:50am (Spanish)
1-1:50pm (American Politics)
2-3:15pm (Reli. and Cont. Culture)
6-8pm (Honors Pro-Sem)

Tuesday:
11-12:15pm (Int'l Human Rts)

Wednesday:
9-9:50am (20th Century World)
11-11:50am (Spanish)
1-1:50pm (American Politics)
2-3:15pm (Reli. and Cont. Culture)

Thursday:
11-12:15pm (Int'l Human Rts)

Friday:
9-9:50am (20th Century World)
11-11:50am (Spanish)
1-1:50pm (American Politics)

Yes, if it looks like my MWF classes get fewer and fewer as the weeks progress, you're right. Monday is my busiest day with five classes, and Fridays I only have three...Wednesdays I have 4 and T-Th I only have one...It's actually not a bad schedule! :)

I guess that's about it.

So this is what they were talking about...

I think I realized today what everyone's been talking about...College--- It's wonderful. I mean, yeah there are hard things about it, like the noise and some of the people, but I realized today that I love it. I really do.

I got up this morning at 8:15, took 15 minutes to get ready and then I headed to my nine o'clock class. My classes are all about 3/4 of a mile from my dorm, which is fine. I don't mind the walk, but I just have to be sure to allow for time to get there.
My first class, at 9, was The World in the Twentieth Century. Mind you, I've already taken a class called 20th Century Topics, and from the syllabus, I don't think this class is going to be a problem for me. I really like the professor, from what I saw today.

Then I had an hour to kill before my Spanish class--- not quite enough time to go back to the dorm and piddle around, so I just went to the cafeteria and got a quick breakfast and then I went to the library and hung around.

At 11am, I had Spanish. Turns out I'm the only freshman in the class, so that was a little intimidating at first, but again, I really like the professor, and from the levels it seems that everyone else is at, this class isn't going to be a problem either.

Then it was noon and I was a little hungry, but not much, so I headed to the cafeteria, because again I had one hour before my next class. I was just reading my Spanish homework and nibbling on some lunch when this girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to come eat with her and her friend. I was like, Okay, why not? So, I have two awesome new friends: Cody and Anna. They are sooo much fun to be around. I think we spent thirty minutes laughing about everything and nothing. I'm so glad I met them.

Then I had American Politics. The professor is awesome, again. (Wow, this is lucky, for sure), and he's pretty funny too. This class I can't judge the difficulty of because I don't have anything to base it off of, and I haven't really looked at the books that carefully yet-- but these books are textbooks, as opposed to the books for 20th C., which are novels, autobiographies and such.


All I gotta say is: I LOVE LOVE LOVE COLLEGE... and LIFE IS GOOD.

Well it's my first real day here at UNC-G. We had a service project this morning, and then Amanda, Kaitlin and I have mostly been just hanging around campus. I think all this down time will suddenly vanish once classes start, but that's okay with me. In fact, I'm in my dorm right now, alone, while Amanda goes to the tech center, and I can't figure out what in the world to do with myself.

There was a dance last night for freshmen, but not many people showed up. Amanda and I, and our two new friends Christina and Kaitlin, were the first four out on the floor...I had a blast and I'm really glad I went, because it gave me the opportunity to meet new people and really realize that campus life can be fun.

I guess that's about all I have to write about. The hardest thing for me so far is remembering to take my keys when I walk down the hall to the bathroom. Haha.

I moved in to the dorms today. I really think I'm going to like college, though I suppose it's hard to tell after only ten hours or so. So far it feels like a mix between camp and middle school, though that's hard to say too because I never did go to an overnight camp. My dorm room is perfect...it's not nearly as small as I thought it would be, or at least it doesn't feel that way. I've started tacking pictures (like at least 500) up all over my walls (Kudos to Emma for modeling this idea for me in her room...) and the desk fits all my books and supplies nicely. The bed is a little higher than I'd probably like, but the nice thing is that it (at 3 feet off the ground) can store not only my suitcase, but also two chests of drawers.

I only slept for about an hour total last night, mostly because I was so excited. So today, after driving my car up here, and organizing, unpacking, rearranging, shopping, eating and talking and just being around my parents, Jennie and Sherby, I was a little overwhelmed and overstimulated. I was, however, a little nervous about how I would handle it when the time came for everyone to leave, but it turned out that I was fine.

Dinner was a little crazy because they gathered all the freshmen together, or at least all those who showed up, to eat with our counselor/leader people from orientation. We didn't actually get to eat with our groups, though. Everyone could just eat with whomever they wanted. Okay, so being tired, a little unsure, and not entirely confident, I ate alone. I am happy here, comfortable and loving each passing moment, but I'm still, in some ways, the person I was at home-- a little unsure of how to just butt into a group of people who are already eating together, who clearly know each other, etc. I'm sure there were other people in my same boat, but I honestly didn't have the energy to find them. Oh well. I've got nine months of freshman year to figure out how to do that, and I have a feeling it will get much easier with time, especially when I'm not tired and overwhelmed and overstimulated. haha.

So, I also wanted to post what I remember of some funny conversations I've had recently. They make me laugh anytime I think about them.

"So, are you all done packing?"
"Yeah, mostly. I've got a few more clothes to pack, but I'm almost done. I packed all my favorite books and picture albums."
"You're such a girl. Us guys, we just pack a few pairs of clothes and the playstation."
"Was playstation around when you were in college?"


"You're the only person I know who laughs while biting into her burrito."


"You've got issues."
"I know, but I love'm."
"Yeah, I'm kinda partial to mine too."


"I'm going to go home and comfort my dog. She's probably a little weirded out by that girl who kept telling her she was cute."

Okay, I'm posting the lyrics to my favorite song from my favorite childhood movie "I have confidence" from The Sound of Music with Julie Andrews. I think this song is really fitting for this week. I boldfaced the lines that I particularly like.

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them I'll show me
So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see
I have confidence in me
Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children
They will look up to me
And mind me
With each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree
I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again

Besides which you see
I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!
It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see
I have confidence in me!

3 DAYS! That's how many more days I have in Raleigh/Chapel Hill before I leave for Greensboro. I keep thinking that one morning I'm going to wake up and flip out, but I have yet to do so. The million little things that still have to get done aren't weighing me down; the idea of living on my own isn't a daunting task lying just ahead anymore; I'm excited about my classes and whatnot. The truth is, I'm not worried. And I thought I would be by this point. I'm not stressing out. And I thought I would be by this point. And for those of you who've traveled with me (L.A. and Costa Rica) or who know me really well, I FREAK/STRESS/WORRY about every little, itsy-bitsy, teeny, small, microscopic thing that could ever possibly happen.
But here I am, on Monday night, moving in on Friday and I'm not worried. This newfound, non-worrying Lindsay, (not so much non-worrying, because I still worry about inane stupid things) is beginning to worry me. Isn't that strange? I'm not worried about college and that's worrying me. Isn't that dumb? That I'm not stressing about a huge change in my life, and that's beginning to stress me out.

So, I was reminded Saturday night, sitting in the church parking lot, after 11pm, over Frosties from Wendy's, that the people I care about are always going to care about me. They're always going to love me. They're always going to be here for me. I'm not sure I ever doubted it, but it's always been in the back of my mind-- what happens when I leave? Will it be different to come back? Of course it will. But the people and the way we feel about each other aren't going to change. And that's really cool to know.

So, just one more thing before I call this post finished. I've always wondered because it always seems to be this way-- you really like a person. You don't think it's possible they could ever like you back. You don't know how to act around them or what to say. But nonetheless, you can't do anything else with your feelings because no matter how unrealistic, that fluttering in your heart when you see them doesn't just go away. Sometimes I wonder why in the world my heart has no handle on reality. It would be soooo much easier. :) It's funny that I should think of this, but I think the only to-be-taken-seriously quote in Talladega Nights was "The human heart is a mystery," or something to that effect, about how Ricky Bobby keeps on loving his father, even after so much let-down and disappointment from him.

I remembered something someone said to me one time and I wanted to blog about that tonight, because I think the concept is really important. My former track/cross country coach (from freshman year), and one of my many mentors and people I look up to said to me, regarding something I asked her about:
"It's a wonderful thing. Don't second guess it all the time."

It didn't hit me until I was thinking about it and reread it where I had written it down years ago, and after the mission trip and some conversations that I had then. It really makes me think now. Because I think a lot of people do that, I know I do-- this whole second-guessing of good things in your life. It's different than an unappreciation. It's almost this inability or unwillingness to believe that good stuff can happen to you, whether you think you don't deserve it, you're scared you'll screw it up down the road, or you're afraid to believe it's true for fear it either won't be or it will vanish. But I realized that if we're ever to find even a piece of happiness here on earth, we have to relish the good things and allow ourselves to revel in the feeling. It's scary; it's unnerving; it can even make you feel guilty, but I think it's healthy too. There ought to be a part of all of us that allows ourselves to believe, if only for a little while, that we deserve good things. We can handle having good things happen to us, and we can also accept and move on when the good things disappear. I also think that the whole moving on and letting go thing would be a lot easier if we allowed ourselves to fully appreciate and enjoy the good things while we have them, before they're gone. I don't know. Just something I was thinking about.

So...COLLEGE! It's hard to believe it's a week away. I still feel like I'm reeling from shock-- and I probably will be for at least a few minutes after my parents drive away from campus. But the honest-to-goodness truth is that my emotions are officially going haywire. When people ask me if I'm excited I always say yes. And I am. And when they ask if I'm nervous, I always say no. And I'm not--- at least I didn't think so. I mean, I'm not moving far away, as my parents have reminded me far too many times, and I can certainly come back on weekends, as they have also told me. They have however insisted on a month-long initiation period, where I am not allowed to drive to Chapel Hill or Raleigh for any reason-- not to hang out, not to see them, not to go to church, not to whatever...I'm not too worried, I don't guess. I am not worried about finding my way on campus; I'm not worried about the work load. I'm not worried about getting involved or making new friends. I'm not worried about adjusting to life in a dorm with a roommate. I'm not worried about foot fungus from the shower and I'm not worried about having to eat cafeteria food. I just worry about missing my friends-- people that I allowed myself to get close to. That's one thing about the L.A. trip that I didn't expect nearly as much-- I got A LOT closer to members of the team than I ever thought I would. It's frustrating to have to not be around them all the time now, but I guess if I was in school in Raleigh that wouldn't be happening but once or twice a week anyway. It's just a new feeling that I'm going to have to get used to-- this feeling of living away from the people that I've been around for years...


Okay, now on to exciting stuff. Here's my schedule:
The World in the 20th Century (M,W,F- 9am)
Spanish 301 (M,W,F- 11am)
American Politics (M,W,F- 1pm)
Honors College ProSeminar (M-6pm)
International Human Rights in Literature and Film (T, Th 11am)
Sexuality in Historical Perspective (T,Th 3pm)

Sooooo excited about that.

I guess that's about all for now. More later, I s'pose.

If this doesn't break your heart...I mean, I understand that the Chinese government is really afraid of rabies-- we all are. But there's something to be said for taking precautions in the first place and not jumping to conclusions...I would go insane if anyone ever grabbed my dogs' leashes out of my hand and then beat them to death or hurt them in any way.