Wow. I can't beleive that tomorrow is the final day of classes in 2005--- and I graduate in about 5 months!!! wow. I still remember the day I started high school (well, and kindergarten for that matter)...

Nothing new to report, really. Exams are going okay. 4 down. 1 to go tomorrow. Psychology wins for being the hardest, and statistics for being the easiest. AP Spanish was...okay...and Southern Hemispheres wasn't so bad after he decided to nix the second full essay. It was a pretty long test--- map, 8 IDs (historical significance and definition for each), 4 short essays, and originally 2 full-length essays, but he decided to cut the other one out, which was nice.

I got my facial mole removed. YAY. I went to the dermitologist because lately it's been getting bigger and sometimes (sorry, this is gross) it bleeds, and of course, it's been hurting a lot. The doctor seemed concerned, and I'm getting the lab results back in two days (ahhh...sooo nervous). But the doctor was like "Do you want us to cut it off and give you stitches or do you want us to burn it off?" I just stared at her; "Umm...are you doing it today? right now?" "Yeah," she said. I thought I was just going to be going in for an evaluation of sorts, but I walked out of there with stitches and no mole. The stitches have since dissolved/fallen out, and hopefully it will heal without much of a scar. It's really okay if there's a little scar b/c it's exactly in line with my laugh/smile line and so it won't be that noticeable anyway. I don't care really, at all, but I'm glad the mole's gone...

My birthday is in 3 DAYS!!!! YAY! I am going to register to vote that morning, so I'm very excited. :)

More later.

Got a couple of things to update about:

1. I have yet to start any more college applications b/c, well, I'm a slacker.
2. Facebook, Bojangle's sweet tea, and country music are my three obsessions.
3. I have a major crush on this guy...which of course keeps me crazy, especially because I don't know what to do about how I feel. Lol. Oh well.
4. I got "diagnosed" (by my doctor, a licensed medical professional) with this really cool thing called Benign Positional Vertigo. It's when a mass of proteins gets stuck in your semi-circular cancals (in your ear) and makes you feel like you're spinning even when you're not. I think it's kinda cool actually. And my doctor said the only way to "cure" it is to throw your head back in a particular direction multiple times. However, she warned "Stop doing this if you get dizzy." I thought--- isn't that why I'm here in the first place, because I'm dizzy all the time?!?!?
5. I've now reevaluated my desire to be a high-school history teacher, though it's still my first choice. My second choice is now a third grade teacher.
6. I have a ton of work (like everyone at RCHS) to finish before exams start.

I thought I would link to the N&O's copy of my letter to the editor, a few weeks ago. A columnist wrote an article about how The Flame was running an ad that promoted religion, thus violating the separation of church and state. The article talked about how the paper allowed capitalism to win out in the end, and how it was promoting religion in schools. (The ad said "In God We Trust" and was a full-page ad). Here's my letter. Dr. Humble's letter said pretty much the same thing and was printed directly under my letter, which was pretty cool.


Gas-Leak-Update: apparently, everything's been fixed because we have school tomorrow, according to the RCHS website.

My birthday is in 21 days, 1 hour and 9 minutes. YAY! (not that I'm excited or anything...)

Wow. Today was an exciting day at school! The 100/200 building was having a gas-leak, and so by 8:20am, or so, they had evacuated the building and study hall was held in the 300 building instead. For any of you who don't go to RCHS, the 100/200 building holds about 2/3 of our classes, and the 300 building holds the other third.
Students who were supposed to have 1st period in the 100/200 building were told to find a classroom-- any classroom-- in the 300 building and hang out there. Teachers who normally teach in the 300 hall tried to carry on first period class like normal, but it didn't work very well, as there were 30-40, maybe more people per room. Needless to say, by 9:30am, the day was looking like it would be pointless and chaotic. That was about the time that Mr. Hames and Ms. Klein came around to each room and told students that they would dismiss school. It was like a snow day, only without the headaches of snow on the ground (like last year when it took hours and hours for each of us to get home). Anyway, that's the big story--- gas leak. School cancelled. Day off. Woot.

In other news: there are 22 days until my birthday!!! :)

I got this from Nick's blog, and I went into it skeptically, but...it's sooo true. The only thing is...I think I have much bigger weaknesses than being picky and/or rigid...but you guys might know better than I would...

Your Birthdate: December 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated. You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way. People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little. Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I got this from Nick's blog, and I decided to try it. It was actually dead on, except that I refuse to be referred to as "picky." Other than that...it's pretty accurate.

Your Birthdate: December 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated.You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I'm not sure where to begin when I update...

I definitely think Senioritis has taken its toll. Most, if not all of us seniors, are feeling the complete apathy towards schoolwork that most people who have previously been in our position have warned us about. And I must admit that now that I have been accepted into a college- senioritis is only worse. lol.

That's about all right now-- psychology gets the "Lindsay's Favorite Class Award" and also the "Best Substitute Ever Award (which is particularly in reference to Emily Atkinson, who is like the coolest sub ever!" Statistics gets the "Slacking-est class ever award...but definitely fun!" English gets the "Lindsay's Second Favorite Class Award" cause we get to throw different-shaped stress balls around the room-- which is super fun. Southern Hemispheres gets the "I'm Slacking off way too much in this class-- but I'm super glad I took it because it is one of the most interesting classes Award." And last, but not least, AP Spanish gets the "I'm totally freaked about the midterm (as is the rest of the class, I think) Award."

My birthday is in 33 days (and Christmas is in 36 days!!!) YAY.

I went to see Capote today; it's about Truman Capote's quest to write his nationally acclaimed book, In Cold Blood. While this R-rated movie is anything but uplifting, it is a must-see for all you avid readers out there who are interested in book-related movies. This is not, however, a remake of the movie In Cold Blood, but rather the story of how the book came to be written.

Yesterday was the first of two Citizenship days at school. I am in the gleaning group, and got to go out to a farm and pick up sweet potatoes that were left behind after the harvest. We picked more than 3,000 pounds of sweet potatoes, and each pound yields about 3 servings-- i.e. 9,000 people will get food solely from what we picked. And we only picked for about two hours. Wow. It was really awesome to be working so hard at something, and knowing the whole time that a hungry child, an impoverished woman or a man who had a string of bad luck would be able to eat because of what I was doing.

Oh yeah, my letter to the editor (N&O) got published on Monday (11/07/05)!!!! AND I have been accepted into my first college! Purdue University has rolling admission and I went ahead and applied. I got my acceptance letter last week, and I am very, very happy, and much less stressed. I don't think I have a first choice school per-say, but I think Purdue would be a pretty cool school.

I got a semi-part-time job with a friend of the family. He owns his own business selling records/LPs on eBay. I am going to log records into the computer database for him, which is pretty cool. And the pay is decent for the seemingly mindless work. I'm excited, because I get to have a job, but it doesn't require insane numbers of hours.

My birthday is soon!!! 42 days!!! And Christmas is in 45 days. I can't believe how quickly time flies...senior year is going to be gone before we know it! And that makes me pretty sad.

I'll post more later.

Wow. It's been quite a while since I last updated. Right now, I'm busy studying AP Psych, doing AP Spanish work and memorizing some Hamlet for English class. Bah.

There's not too much to say, which is why I guess I've been so lax about updating. I love Elon University, and could definitely see myself there for four years.

I'm going to Costa Rica this spring with Mr. Slattery, Mr. Day and some kids from school, and I'm super-excited about that. We're doing home-stays, so Rachel (sophomore) and I will be staying in a house with a family for a week, and there will be whole-group excursions during the day, as well as spanish-classes. It sounds pretty cool to me. :)

There's a big to-do with the newspaper (The Flame) right now because, as many of you know, we sell ads to local businesses in order to make enough money to produce the newspaper 7 times each year. Well, one student this year sold an ad to a family that she knows. They want to take up a full page (envision the N&O size, 'cause that's how big it is) and all they want on the page is: In God We Trust. Now, I don't have a problem with this because, though I think proselytizing isn't always appropriate, I believe strongly in our first-amendment rights. All of us on the newspaper staff want freedom of the press, and with that, we have to accept freedom of speech. As I told our editor-in-chief, who is particularly upset about this ad, "We won't stop selling ads to Domino's Pizza if the veagans get upset, will we?" He thinks it's different, but I don't. The other thing is that if we were content-neutral when we started selling ads, we have to remain content neutral throughout. Well, our editor-in-chief, Ben, wrote a petition and got (at last count more than eighty) students to sign it--- saying that they didn't support the inclusion of this ad in the paper (ARGH-- people, it's an ad that clearly says it was paid for by a certain family, whose name I am not going to print on my blog). The N&O has printed ads before that say "If you don't believe in such and such you are going to be doomed to so and so for ever." That's just the way it goes. It's clearly not a newspaper-supported thing. It's funny how people think editorials are okay, but the second we put in an ad that people don't like, everyone goes nuts. In fact, there's another full-page ad for Moe's Southwest grill that basically says that Moe's is #1 for burritoes. And you know what, Q'doba-lovers (Q'doba is another burrito place) are not getting hot and bothered about it. You know, it's not that people aren't entitled to their opinions or that I think they shouldn't speak their minds, but the thing is, this is much ado about nothing. Well, anyway, back to the story. Apparently the News and Observer got wind of the advertisement and the petition and called our faculty-sponsor (Dr. Busonik) and they want to run a story! It amazes me sometimes the reactions people have to certain things. Funny isn't it, that we freaking out over this, and yet people in Congo (Africa, for those of you geographically-challenged) are dying of starvation daily because the world has turned a blind-eye. And yet the second that there's an advertisement going in a measely 16-page newspaper at a 500-person school, the freaking state-wide newspaper takes notice. Ironic, yes? I think so. K, I'm done ranting now I guess.

Here's the google thinga-majiggy for today:










SPOOKY, huh?

I've been really slack about posting, I know. Anyway, I figured I'd try to briefly update on my life: nothing much is new, though. I'm applying for the NC Teaching Fellows Scholarship, and even though I probably won't get it, it would be nice. (but it would mean that I would have to stay in-state. I mean, we have some awesome schools in NC, but other places have awesome schools too, lol).
I went on the fall retreat at CHBC this weekend; it was held in King, NC, at a YMCA Camp. It was super-fun and I had a great time. Of course, I came home sick...but it was well worth it.
College applications are slowly beginning to overtake my life!!!! AHHHH. It's kinda exciting but also stressful and scary at the same time.
Riley is doing well and has completely become one of the family. Hope still isn't wild about him, but whatever.
Tomorrow is a 1/2 day at RCHS, and Freshmen, Sophomores and Juniors will take the PSAT, while us lucky seniors get to attend a crash-course in how to write college application essays. *yawn* But it's all good because we get Thursday and Friday off from school. I guess that's about it.
If y'all want to check out some cool music from a band that was formed from some members of my church, go here. They're called SpencerAcuff, and their music is awesome. I encourage you to purchase the cds if you like the demos online--- all proceeds are currently going to the RedCross to benefit victims of hurrican Katrina.

That's all for now. I'm tired...later dudes.

I know I haven't updated in forever, but school has kept me busy, busy, busy. There's not much new to report:
-I've finally come out of my country/clay aiken only shell, and started listening to other genres. Five Iron Frenzy, Seven Day Jesus, Squad 5-0, AC/DC, ColdPlay, and Caedman's Call are some of my new favorites
-I'm going to Costa Rica over Spring Break
-I mail my first college application in tomorrow-- (no, it's not early decision, but rather "rolling admission.")
-I went to the Silver Ring Thing tonight, and that was pretty fun.
-The first dance of the year went pretty well. We didn't make all that much money, so our senior gift to the school...well, let's just say hopefully we'll make more money by gift-giving time.
-The Fall Retreat at church is this coming weekend! I'm so excited.
-I made a final decision not to take the SAT a second time. I was pleasantly pleased by my first score, and the added stress (even though I've worked through a 900 page workbook) of taking it again isn't something I need to deal with right now.
-I really love all my classes this year. I miss some of my former classes, and some of my old teachers and other staff from RCHS, but this year is certainly going to be a good one (except for some of the students who are really wearing on my nerves and wearing me down in general).
-My college list is as long as ever and showing no signs of shortening. Oh well. The first four apps I get around to doing will probably be the places I go to. (I'm sure UNC-CH and Meredith will be in there...and of course, if I get the Teaching Fellows Scholarship, I'll definitely go somewhere instate). I'm also looking at American U., Purdue U., Northeastern U., Boston U., U of Richmond, and some more instate schools. Bleh.

Time for me to hit the hay. I promise to try to be better about updating. No guarantees, though.

Wow. We're in our second full week of school. It won't be long before I'm graduating and heading off to college. Wow. That's scary.

I babysat overnight this weekend for a two-year-old and a four-year-old. We went to the neighborhood park, watched movies, and just played in the yard or in the house. It was pretty fun, but the two-year-old seemed to have a cold. Now, I'm pretty sure that she probably had a sore throat because that's the most likely place that I got mine from. Though, it does seem that something is going around. I know about five or six people with sore throats right now.

First Friday was fun. A great success for Environmental Club, but also for RCCF and the Flame.

Our first flex days are next week and the week after, and our first dance (hosted by the Senior Class-- yeah 06) is September 23rd. It's a costume dance...though most people have told us they're not coming if they have to dress up. The two best ideas us four senior class officers came up with were-- Joe's: Animal House (which was quickly overruled by our teacher advisors) and a movie theme, which took the biscuit. Oh well. I'll be dressed up and I'll have fun. We're giving out prizes to the best individual and group costumes!!!

That's all that's happened recently in Lindsay-land.

It's september and I'm just now updating. Something is very wrong. Actually, school has started and my nights are filled with going to the gym, doing homework and doing club prep. Between senior class (we're planning a dance for Sept. 23-- BE THERE!), environmental club, RCCF, The Flame and soon SLA--- my extracurriculars are jam-packed. And in another two weeks, I'll start tutoring hispanic children at a local elementary school. I like being busy though, it's fun.

All my classes are good so far. Psychology definitely takes the prize, though, but I'm sure Modern Africa (formerly known as Southern Hemispheres) will tie pretty soon.

Gas prices are making my life miserable, as they are everyone else's I'm sure. Last night, I waited in line for gas for 1 hour, and then filled up my tank 3/4 of the way...only to see the price---$30!!!! This is insane. I don't make much money, because babysitting jobs are often sporadic, but I still have to pay my insurance and gas, plus I had to pay a week ago for my car to get new rims and tires-- to the tune of nearly 1000 dollars. Oh well. The not-so-fun part of having a car, I suppose.

The Katrina thing is got me upset. It's hundreds of miles away and yet I feel so useless. Giving money is hard for me though--- I'm worried the victims won't ever see it. I think I'll send canned goods instead. There's a need for everything right now, I think.

I had my senior portraits taken. Not a good experience. Oh well. Hopefully, I'll get a few decent shots for relatives and others who want them. The studio was stupid enough to make me take my outside poses (required by RCHS) first. I spent fifteen minutes in mid-ninety degree weather, only to come back in sweating. I'm sure that made me look just dandy for the rest of the pictures. Such is life.

I'm done. I'll try to be more regular about updating. I'm babysitting this weekend from 11am on Saturday until 5pm on SUNDAY! Wow. Two kids. Wish me luck!

Riley update: we haven't even had our new puppy for a month yet, and already he's a staple in our family. Jenna seems to really like him, though Hope still avoids him for the most part. He's well-trained and learns quickly. He likes the vents in the floor that blow cool air, and will often lie down beside them. Whenever he's in the car, he insists on being in the front seat so he can feel the cool air from the vents. Unlike Jenna, the windows aren't good enough for him. He discovered the cat door, but is very much afraid of it. He also discovered the air conditioning unit in our backyard, and barked at it for awhile, until he decided it wasn't posing a threat to anyone. A housefly got in tonight, and Riley watched it for awhile, unsure of what it was. He chews through most of the toys we buy him, including a plastic ice cream cone, a plastic shoe, a stuffed green doll, and one other squeaky toy. He can be rambunctious at times, but for the most part, I have no complaints.

In other news, school starts in two days. Wow. I've got logistical club stuff coming out of my ears. AHHHH. And I babysat for Mr. Grunden's two-year-old daughter the other night. It was a wonderful and pleasant experience. That's all that's been happening lately. I promise to write a very intriguing post next time...

I realized recently that I haven't posted any sort of explanation of flex committee on my blog. Actually, the true flex committee hasn't done much this summer (we've only had one meeting). But I'm also part of the interdisciplinary subcommittee and we've met a handful of times this summer. Two other kids, Mr. Grunden, Ms. Huddleston, Ms. Chalifoux, Dr. Marschall, Dr. Brown, Ms. Warren and I make up this subcommittee.
We are creating a new flex day that will start in the 2006-2007 school year and run as long as there is still available time and interest in its continuation. It is designed so that, while it is a "themed flex day," it is also unique to each grade level, so freshmen entering RCHS in the fall of 2006 will experience four different activities (one each year) that are all linked.
Each grade level's activities are based on the idea of "paradigm shifts" through history and in our personal growth and development. A paradigm shift is defined as "a significant change from one fundamental view to another, usually including a discontinuity of the original fundamental view or practice." Each grade level focuses both on one moment in history and on one major "milestone" in personal development. We have identified four major steps for change: pressure, resistance, change, relfection.
Freshman year: Freshman year, students will be focusing on 500 B.C., which was a major time in the development of communication and also religion. Written language developed, as did the belief in an unseen higher power, which was a switch from the common practice of worshiping statues and other tangible items. For personal development, students will focus on how their lives changed (their social patterns, their view of the world, their confidence level, and their ideas and beliefs about community/family/groups) when they started kindergarden.
Sophomore year: Sophomore year, students will focus on the Enlightment as a major change in the way people viewed authority, community, religion and science. They will explore the roles of the social classes and how change is brought about. For personal experiences, students will examine how their lives, views, ideas, morals, likes/dislikes, social patterns, and attitudes toward authority changed when they started middle school.
Junior year: Junior year, students will focus on the ways in which society underwent a change in the beginning of the 20th century (give or take a few decades). Many areas of life were changed during this time: music (rise of atonalists), art (decline of the impressionists), dance (rise of modern dance, fall of classical ballet), politics (with the influence of people like Marx), philosophy (Kant vs. existentialism, Nietzche), science (Darwin and evolution), psychology (Freud), etc etc etc. Students will also look at how their perspectives, social patterns, lifestyles, and attitudes toward authority changed when they entered (and continued through) high school.
Senior year: Senior year, students will focus on the future, and discuss/debate questions like: are we in the middle of a paradigm shift right now? If so, what is it? If not, when do you perceive the next one to be coming? Why? How do we or how will we know when we are? What will it look like? Will there be resistance to a shift in thought or way of life? Do we prepare ourselves for a shift? How? Why? In 100 years, what shift will they say was taking place right now? Students will also examine their own lives. Who do they want to become? How can they make that happen? Why do they want to become that person? Who are they afraid of becoming?

On these flex days, students will not simply sit around and be asked these questions. The questions and ideas posed will be intertwined with an engaging activity in which the students examine the paradigm shifts in a new way, and really think them through. I'll blog about the actual activities later.

If students (or adults I suppose) read this, I'd love to hear comments. The adults on the committee really want us three students to get a feel for whether or not students would like this kind of thing, so please leave your feedback (good and bad) by clicking on "comments." Thanks.

About my last post--- I changed my mind. As exciting as it would be to go where so few have gone and to explore an entirely different world outside of this one, I can think of a lot better things to do with 100 million dollars like feeding the starving populatoins of the world, or funding further research into cures for AIDS and cancer. Okay, I'd still like 100 million dollars so I could put it to good use. And I'll still dream of seeing outer space, other than through a telescope, and I'd still love to go to the moon. But somehow, I can't help feeling that spending that amount of money is a waste when there are people who don't have a place to live, or even enough food each day.

School countdown: 13 days

Now this would be a super-awesome summer vacation! Just imagine what you would write for one of those back-to-school narratives where the prompt is "How I spent my summer vacation"! Eric Anderson, president and CEO of Space Adventures Ltd, says that his company is "planning a new mission: rocketing rich people around the dark side of the moon." There are actually two different vacation itineraries for these trips that could be taken, the company says, as early as 2008. Wow. Check out the link!

Now all I have to do is find 100 million dollars...ideas? How about a fund: Lindsay's-trip-to-the-moon-fund. Haha. Actually, it says a round-trip ticket is 100 million dollars...maybe I could just stay on the moon!?

Oh well. I kinda like it here on earth anyway.

I stole this from my wonderful friend Katie, but I'm sure she won't mind! Thanks, Katie! :)

Ten years ago, I...
1. was seven
2. was going to be in second grade
3. was going through my parents' divorce
4. had only moved twice
5. was afraid of thunder storms

Five years ago, I...
1. was twelve
2. was in middle school
3. was on the school newspaper staff
4. had moved eight times
5. got Jenna, my golden retriever

One year ago, I...
1. was working at Carmike Cinemas
2. had just gotten back from my first out-of-country trip
3. was going into 11th grade
4. lost a good friend in a car crash
5. had just won a national dance competition, which would be my last time participating in dance

In one year, I ...
1. will be going off to college
2. will be able to vote
3. will find out just what true independence feels like
4. will be an official RCHS alumni
5. have a new beginning, and the rest of my life ahead of me

Yesterday, I...
1. started filling out my online application for American University
2. went to the gym
3. got to see one of the sweetest 7-year-olds in the world
4. played with my new puppy
5. bought and organized school supplies (one of my most favorite activities)

Today, I...
1. went shopping
2. sang out loud in public just because it's fun
3. found out one of the kids I babysit for has an infection and is in the hospital (and has been for five days...she's fine, but she'll have to stay there for about another week)
4. played with my puppy some more (and with Jenna too)
5. won two auctions on Ebay

Tommorrow, I will...
1. babysit
2. go to the gym
3. dogsit
4. finish my summer reading
5. play with my puppy and with Jenna even more

Someday, I will...
1. travel the world
2. make a difference
3. (hopefully) run for president
4. publish a novel
5. be a mommy

Riley update: He's doing wonderfully. He barked at the vacuum today when I was cleaning, and he wasn't thrilled when I left him inside while I mowed the lawn. And we have this singing frog stuffed animal that I showed him tonight. He was definitely perplexed by it (to say the least). He follows me around all the time now...even if I just go to the next room, he's right there behind me. We're working right now on new tricks: roll over and speak. He and Jenna have adjusted well to being around each other. Despite the age difference (Jenna is 6), they rough-house all the time, fighting over toys, playing tug-of-war, chasing each other, and fake-biting. The only one who hasn't adjusted is Hope, our cat. But that's to be expected. We have to keep them separated because Hope views Riley as aggressive when he barks, and he barks louder and stronger when she hisses at him. He's officially mastered the "puppy face" and I'm a complete sucker for it (and he knows it too!). He doesn't really get into much trouble, but when he does, I can't stay mad at him long because he just gives me THE FACE and I melt. Oh well. He's still unsure about the whole backyard thing and insists that someone be out there while he does his business. Once he's finished relieving himself, he races back inside. Unlike Jenna, he doesn't seem to enjoy just hanging out in the yard, playing, digging or whatever.
He's got some sores from wherever he was staying before he came here and they're concerning us...we can't figure out why they're there. They are not located in areas where he could have scratched or bit himself and caused these sores. It's odd and disconcerting. I'm sure we'll talk to the vet about them in two weeks, when he goes in for his heartworm pill.

It's official. I have my first over-night babysitting job Labor Day weekend. I'll be with two kids for two (very long) days. They are ages 2 and 4, and it should be okay. I really do adore these kids and I've known them since...forever. I mean, I've stayed overnight before by myself, even in other people's houses when I was house sitting...but never while being responsible for two kids. The mom told me (when she asked if I was free that weekend) that she wouldn't trust anyone else to do this...wow. No pressure or anything. I'm sure it'll be fine.

That's about it for now...I'm starting to get pre-school year jitters, and the college thing is actually starting to sink in as far as applying and actually going somewhere. Wow.

Riley Update: Riley is doing wonderfully, and is learning the ways of our household (and plenty of new tricks, as well) very quickly. He still loves socks and cries only occassionally when put back in his crate when we leave the house. The crating will stop after we're positive that he's completely housebroken. For the most part, he is. It's just that if he gets excited...well...you get the idea. He's still fascinated by the swiveling office chairs and uses them as his own personal amusement. He hasn't quite figured out how doors work yet, though. The fact that they can enclose him in or lock him out of an area is very perplexing to him, as is their ability to swing back and forth. He spent most of today finding his voice: he barked at the neighbor's kids who were running between our yard and theirs. He barked at Hope, our cat (who, by the way, still hates Riley and hisses at him ALL the time). He barked at the fireplace too, even though it wasn't on. All in all, though, he's really easy-going and sweet. I don't understand why someone gave him up in the first place--- he doesn't get into stuff, and he's obedient and smart. (Yes, I am very, very proud of my little puppy).

I've been thinking about college a lot lately, and I've decided that the idea of "the rest of my life" totally freaks me out and I am more worried about it than I thought. I'm not worried about getting into a school. I'm not worried about the workload. I'm not afraid of being long distances from my family, or of having true independence. I think I'm afraid because I don't have a "plan" for the rest of my life. Up until now, my life's been pretty much decided for me--- I had to go to school until I was 16, and my mom made sure I stuck with it even after that (not that I would drop out...I actually love school). The county decided where I went to school, and for HS my mom decided that one, really. Everything's been pretty much dictated by the adults around me. College is my choice. I have to choose one. Choose a major. (a minor). I can go to grad school or not. I get to choose where to apply to work. etc etc etc. I'm afraid of choices, I think. I'm afraid I'll choose wrong. Or that I'll choose right and screw up. I'm almost positive I want to major in history (BA in History) and get an MA in secondary education and teach. But I don't want to teach forever. Just for a few years. But then what do I do with a history degree? I've thought about med school after a stint in teaching, but I don't know if I want to go to school forever...I want a chance to settle down and have kids. This is all very overwhelming to me...not that any of you who read this care...but that's what's been on my mind.

I came up with this idea that I really want to pursue. There's this little park over by RCHS, kind of bordering the Mordecai neighborhood. Hope Elementary uses it sometimes for recess, but it's too small for all of those kids and it's kind of run-down. I want to get permission (from whoever-- the city or Hope Elem-- owns it) to take it down and rebuild a bigger, newer playground for the kids, as well as some benches and flowers to spruce the place up. Now all I have to do is get permission and then convince other people to help me in this endeavor--- and of course hopefully get company donations (we'll give them a plaque built into the wall at the park) to help cover costs...too bad it'll never actually happen. My dreams are always better and nicer than real life. Bleh.

It occurred to me after my last post that anyone who read that Riley is a black lab-golden retriever mix might envision some sort of golden, blackish...i don't know. He's not. He looks like a black lab, but the people at the adoption center said he was a mix. He's my baby boy. Being a doggie-mommy the third time around is much easier than the first two times. With Jenna, when I was in sixth grade, she was only 8 weeks old when we got her. She cried all night for a few weeks. Riley sleeps through the night, knows lots of tricks (sit, lie down, shake, spin, fetch, and he knows to go in his crate when we tell him... and he even pees on command. Now that, my friends, is a talented dog). Mysti, who I got when I was in 8th grade, is a Yorkie, so she was really tiny when I got her. We had to regulate her food intake like crazy becuase she was so small, and she was diabetic, and the day before we picked her up, she went into a diabetic coma at the house where she was born. So both of my first two experiences with raising puppies were stressful and difficult, but I love Jenna and Mysti sooo much. (Of course, I had already been taking care of my two other dogs when Jenna arrived: Finney and Max). Riley loves his toys and likes to snuggle. He just discovered the the office chair beside the computer desk spins. He got halfway on it, and started spinning around. And seeing him on the hardwood floors makes me laugh because he slides across them farther than he walks.

Now...about D.C. We went up to D.C. last Thursday, and we visited American University that afternoon. Everyone says that when I walk onto the "right" college campus, I will have an AHA! moment, and know once and for all that I was meant to go to that college. I haven't had that moment yet (I've only been to see four...) but I had what I guess is a quazi-AHA moment at American. (And of course, I would love living in D.C.) One of my favorite things about American is their history department and course offerings-- my favorite class that I've seen so far is one that is held during the summer. It is a study of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the students actually travel to Japan to hear victims' testimony and visit the sites. How cool. Another great aspect of being at one of the D.C. colleges (AU, GWU, and Georgetown) is that if you are enrolled in one of the colleges, you can take classes at any of them.

Anyway, while in D.C. we went to the History Museum, Ford's Theater, the Spy Museum, ChinaTown, and toured the monuments. We also visited the house where Lincoln died and toured Georgetown. The funniest moment on the trip was when we passed this pair of elderly couples on the sidewalk (two men, two women who were probably in their eighties). One of the women, apparently the one in charge, was yelling at the men and pointing at them one at a time, saying "You didn't follow instructions. And you (turning to the other) didn't follow instructions..." that was all I heard...but it was quite the sight.

We just got back from Washington D.C. where I visited American University and GWU. It was actually a really fun trip. More on that later, though.

BIG NEWS!!! We got a new dog! Yes, we still have our golden retriever (Jenna), but we decided that she was in great need of a friend. Enter: Riley. Riley is a Black Lab/Golden Retriever mix and is 5 months old...but he has enough energy for three puppies. We just got him today, when we got back from D.C. (yes, we left D.C. at 6:30am so that we could be back to Raleigh in time to adopt a puppy-- I know, we're insane). He's explored the downstairs of the house, and we're hoping that he won't discover the upstairs for a few days...not likely. Jenna seems to be adjusting well to her new "sibling" and they have already spent the evening rough housing. Riley is definitely unsure of the backyard, though, and needs to be coaxed down the deck stairs and around the yard. He's actually already been halfway trained, as he knows sit, lie down, etc. However, the hurdle we're jumping right now is learning his new name. His name with his original owner was Big Henry (*gag*barf*), and the adoption agency named him Grady, but my mom refused to have a dog named after one of the NC Legislators she dislikes, so we gave him the name we had picked out originally...but he still doesn't seem to make the connection that he and Riley are one and the same. Oh well. That'll come with time I suppose. More updates on the pup and pictures, and a D.C. play-by-play report later.

I was watching the news last night, when a story came on that made me shake my head and laugh aloud. There is a growing group of people around the country who are uprooting their families and moving them to South Carolina from all over the nation. Why? you ask. There is a group, founded by people like Cory Burnell, called ChristianExodus. Their purpose? They are calling fundamentalist, conservative Christians to move to South Carolina. They hope to create a a uptopia with laws based on the Ten Commandments. And if the United States government doesn't like it? They plan to secede from the Union. Haven't we already been through this once before with South Carolina????

As much as the London terror bombings saddened and appalled me, and as much as the scare on Thursday reminded me (once again) how we are never truly safe...anywhere, I still cannot believe that members of the London Police shot an innocent man-- five times. It's not that they shot him, because, truly, we do the same things here...(not always, and that's not a criticism of our law enforcement, just a statement that sometimes innocent people get hurt or killed because they are arousing suspicions. Even though, I have to admit, that killing people is probably not the ideal way to deal with something...but is sometimes the only way). My point here is that the officers shot the man five times. FIVE TIMES. I can almost guarantee that after one or two shots, that man was posing little or no threat to the community...continuing to shoot at him seems unnecessary. And on top of that, one witness told CNN that two of the three pursuing officers jumped him and held him down while the other fired five shots...something about that just seems wrong. Feel free to post comments on my blog and agree or disagree. I'd like to hear what other people think.

The 2005-2006 Senior Year Schedule has arrived.
Here it is... (period-class-teacher)

1. Adv. Southern Hemispheres (Montague)
2. Adv. Statistics and Probability (Mahoney)
3. Publications (Busonik)
4. AP English 4 (Busonik, back-to-back...oh yeah!)
5. AP Psychology (Koch)
6. AP Spanish (Krawiec)

Wow...should be an interesting year...let me know if you have any classes with me.

My AP U.S. History teacher at school, Betsy Newmark, had this to say about the places Roberts will go with his position on the courts. Very interesting...
It seems that, once Roberts is confirmed, that he will become the clear choice for Chief Justice if Rehnquist steps down. Roberts clerked for Rehnquist and apparently the Chief thinks very highly of him. I predict that, after a year or two, Rehnquist will step down while Bush is still president and give Bush the opportunity to elevate Roberts to be Chief.

Two years ago, Supreme Court Justice Scalia had this to say about Roberts, whom he called "far and away the best Supreme Court litigator in the country":
No matter how intense the questioning, Roberts is never flustered, and is always able to calmly answer any question whatsoever, while skillfully weaving in the substantive points that he wanted to make in the first place.

Now it's a waiting game...what will happen? It'll be an interesting few days (if it even lasts that long).

President Bush has announced his nominee for the Supreme Court to replace the retired Sandra Day O'Connor-- John G. Roberts. Many women, democrats, and even republicans (first lady, Laura Bush included) were hoping to see a woman nominated. At only 50 years old, he is fairly young for a Supreme Court justice. ABC-11 (WTVD), as well as MSNBC both called him a "rock-solid conservative" and it is said that he does not support the decision in Roe v. Wade. In fact, MSNBC reports that Roberts co-wrote a brief in 1990 that "suggested the Supreme Court overturn Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 high court decision that legalized abortion." However, as Roberts told the Senate during his confirmation in 2003, "Roe v. Wade is the settled law of the land. ... There is nothing in my personal views that would prevent me from fully and faithfully applying that precedent." Roberts has been an appellate judge (nominated by Bush, and approved by the Senate in 2003) for two years, but experts say that what he lacks in experience as a judge, will be made up for by his experience arguing cases before the Supreme Court. Many people hoped for another middle-of-the-spectrum justice, who like O'Connor, would be the swing vote in many landmark decisions. O'Connor took often liberal stands on issues like the death penalty, when in 2002 (Atkins v. Virginia), she sided with 5 other justices that a mentally retarded criminal could not be executed. She also cast the deciding vote that struck down a Nebraska partial-birth abortion law. She dissented when the majority of the justices supported striking down an Ohio law that prohibited doctors from performing abortions on teen girls without their parents' permission or a court order.

It should be interesting to see how the debate within the senate unfolds. It could go either way...

I babysat on Saturday night for a family that I regularly babysit for. The parents were hosting a party for about 50 or so people at their house, and needed me to get the kids out of the house from about 5pm on. I got there and the mother handed me the keys to her car, gave me money for dinner and told me to use her car to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese. (The kids are 5 and 1 years old). Anyway, we get to Chuck E. Cheese, and find that not only are there about 400 people in the building (mostly children running around), but the AC has gone out. It is 95 degrees inside. I decide, based on the excitement of the 5 year old, to stay there anyway, despite the hot conditions. We eat pizza and play a few games when suddenly my cell phone rings. It's the mom. She has left party supplies in the trunk of the car and needs us to drive back to their house. (It's about 25 minutes back). By the time we unload the supplies at their house it's 7pm or so, but the kids need to be out of the house until at least 10pm (and even if we stay out that late, the party won't be over, and I'll have to entertain the kids in the confines of their parents' bedroom for an hour or so). I decide to take the kids to Triangle Town Center so we don't endure the heat at CEC again. The kids play at Curiosity Creek (a children's area with slides and other climable objects) for awhile. By 9pm, the shops are closing and the crowds are thinning out. We head to the car. I drive around for an extra forty minutes, hoping they'll both fall asleep. No such luck. We get to their house and are "banished" (and I use the term lightly here) to their parents' bedroom where we watch Barbie Nutcracker. (my all-time favorite movie---- NOT). At this point, I have been informed that their dad drove himself to the emergency room around 6pm with gallbladder problems and that I'll be needed until about midnight. That's fine with me. Around midnight, the party has ended and the mom has joined her husband at the hospital. He's fine, she calls to say, but they are going to do a CT scan so it'll be another hour or so. The kids finally get to bed ten minutes after midnight, and I watch a little CNN until the parents come home at 2am. I'm exhausted, and knowing I won't hit the pillow until after three isn't comforting. I have to be up and out of the house early that morning to babysit for someone else. But it's okay. Extenuating circumstances can't be helped. It was an interesting night to say the least. [Note: the night before, I had also babysat for this family until almost midnight, and the next day I would babysit for another family with a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old for five hours. It was a babysitting-marathon.]

AP exam scores are in. That's a very good thing. I thought I would be crushed by my scores--- I'm actually thrilled. Now, I'm waiting for my school schedule to come in the mail, and of course continuing the never-ending college search. . . soon to be followed by endless applications, essays, 'n such. Something to look forward to.

I loved watching Ken Jennings (left) on Jeopardy! even though he kind of failed me in the Tournament of Champions...but hey, he was still an outstanding contestant. He wrote his name a different way every night, which was...unique. Now I'm watching every night and cheering for a new contestant-- David Madden (right)

He's a student, studying in Berlin (I think), but he's doing really well. (And as soon as I publish this post, I'm sure he'll lose tonight.) But he's got a long way to go to ever measure up to Ken Jennings. It would be interesting, however, to have the two compete in a Jeopardy! game.

Certainly one of the more unique state parks...

"CARHENGE"

Well, I'm back from Virginia. I must first comment on the roads--- the planning and mapping out of the few towns that we visited left a lot to be desired. The condition of the roads made me ever-grateful that I live in NC. We visited Busch Gardens and Water Country USA. We had "bounce tickets" which meant we could go back and forth between them for two days. Busch Gardens has four roller coasters-- Alpengeist, Loch Ness Monster, Apollo's Chariot, and Big Bad Wolf (pictured at left). My sister and our friends (Taylor and Micheala) road all of these multiple times. (For those of you who don't know...I am terrified of roller coasters, their speeds, their drops, whatever...hate them. Very much afraid of them, maybe from watching too many news stories where they crash or break down.) Anyway, the three of them bugged me incessantly to ride one of them. I relented after an hour or so after they told me that Big Bad Wolf didn't drop--- it was just a bunch of curves. Okay, I thought. I can do this. I tried to back out multiple times while we waited in line. Not a chance. I got on and after the first curve, realized that I should never have gotten on the ride to begin with. Okay, so it's drops are only 99 feet each, but it was way to much for someone who is deathly afraid of roller coasters to begin with (and who has also been told that there aren't any drops...that this one is easier than the small roller coasters at the state fair.) Busch gardens...unless you are five, or you love roller coasters, is really a bunch of shows to take in. We saw Irish dancers, a pet show (quite cute) and explored the "European continent" in little shops and cafes. It's a nice place. The water park was more my style and we had a great time. We went to both parks each day. But the first day we got up there, we went to William and Mary College. It was founded in 1693, and was the second oldest college in the country (behind Harvard). It's where former presidents Jefferson, Washington, Monroe and Tyler all went to school. It was the first school to adopt the Honor Code (a system devised by Jefferson himself) and Jefferson and his friends also developed the premier academic society Phi Beta Kappa at W and M in 1776. I really liked the feel of the campus, the academic courses, and the size of the school (though something bigger might be more for me), but the town where it is located is just too small. The nearest movie theater, for instance, is an hour away. I think big-city life is more for me, not the small-town setting. It's a wonderful school, though, it's just not for me. At the end of July we're heading to D.C. to check out three schools, and hopefully I'll be checking out Boston and NYC as well. In the meantime, I'm waiting for my AP test scores and my school schedule to come in the mail. *cross fingers*

I went to the State Fairgrounds tonight and saw the fireworks show for the first time in my life. Wow. It was overwhelming to say the least. I think I often (actually I always) take this country for granted. I obviously don't always agree with everything our government does, but I am free to speak my mind and lobby to change the government's policies, decisions, whatever. I read recently in the NY Times about a woman who has been under house-arrest for twenty eight years because she helped lead a protest in the Phillipines. And in Topics (and when I was in Chile) we learned about the oppressive dictatorships that held Latin America in a death-grip for a good part of the 20th century, killing dissidents in mass numbers, torturing people, and forcing the "disappearances" of thousands more. And of course there was Iraq and there's Saudi Arabia with their restrictive (or not so much anymore in Iraq) governments. And the military (an appendage of the government) in Sudan killing thousands of people. I guess I never really contemplate how lucky I am to have been born here...free, healthy, etc. It's really true, though, that, as Lee Greenwood sings, "If tomorrow all the things were gone, I'd worked for, all my life, and I had to start again...I'd thank my lucky stars to be livin' here today, 'cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can't take that away." I am proud to be an American. But sometimes I still wonder, why "God shed his grace on me"? Anyway, the fireworks show was really a magical experience for me because I again realized how lucky and blessed I am (and how grateful I am) to be living in a country where freedom is guaranteed, where rights are inalienable, where your voice can be heard if you speak loudly and persistently enough, and where we can "dream in red, white and blue, and we can dream as much as we want to." (and the fireworks were also an amazing experience because I'd never been to a fireworks show before.)

Okay, I was thinking today about the things that make me happy in life--- and it made me happy and smiley just to think about them. Here's the condensed version of what makes me happy and smiley: (oh, they are in no particular order)

1. CHILE (the country...chili is okay too!) and the Gaia School (Paola, Rob, Juan, Gisell, Orlando, Dagly, and Alvaro)
2. my school (I love my hs...I couldn't ask for a more learning-centered, academically challenging, and motivating environment in which to learn)
3. my friends (Goodberrys [and learning to ice skate... it was quite the scene, I'm sure...and going hiking] with Jason; Palace Point with Cameron, Chile with Marsha and Kit and all the other cool kids, lunch with Mark with a too-perky waitress, and all the other memories...wow.)
4. dance (or at least it did...somewhere in my heart, the passion is still there, but for now it's become a new kind of memory...not good, not bad...it's just there. I heart the good memories that haven't been erased by the prominence of the bad ones, and of course I love the people I met-- the kids my age, and the kids I taught, and my teachers...)
5. my sweethearts- (aka my doggies and kitties, Finney, Max, Mysti, Jenna, Deacon, Hope, Ginger and Casey)
6. Bojangles iced tea
7. Country music
8. My church, youth program and youth leaders (and all the other pastors and my friends there)
9. The smell of the air in the minutes before a thunder storm
10. Overalls and ribbons tied in my ponytail (a phase I will likely never outgrow)
11. TV shows (there are only a few that deserve this list): Strong Medicine, Law and Order: SVU, West Wing and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Friends (we have most of the seasons on dvd...a definite, constant source of laughter when I need it!)
12. Movies: Casablanca, Miss Congeniality (1 and 2), Sound of Music (as it is on VHS with Julie Andrews) and Promises (a documentary about the effects of the Palestinian/Israeli conflict on children)
13. Books: When the Last Leaf Falls, Amusing Ourselves to Death, Humanity: A moral history of the 20th Century
14. Clay Aiken
15. Writing my novel... actually I have two works-in-progress right now. One of them will remain top secret until it is (if it ever is) done
16. the color yellow
17. the smell (don't think i'm crazy) of hardware stores and craft stores, and sort of shoe stores... but not as much
18. my gym, especially this one guy that works there...er...I mean, especially the bikes, the indoor track and the stair-master
19. my car... it's just all-around wonderful...most of the time!
20. doing things that weird other people out...it's super-fun. like...answering my cell phone and preceeding to have a conversation, even though the phone never rang and no one is on the line, or answering my home phone one of three ways:
1. in Spanish
2. "Thank you for calling Papa Johns pizza. How may I help you?"
3. "Orange." (or ocassionally "Purple.") You see, a lot of people, (even on Full House)
answer the phone with "Yellow" as in, an alternate version of "hello." Why yellow? Why not purple or Orange?
And there are other fun ways to weird people out...dance around in a public place to whatever song happens to be on their music system...weird looks are fun to get...
21. Flex committee, though I have to go during summer vacation, is super-awesome. I heart working with the teachers and the other two students to create and improve flex programs
22. Babysitting
23. Research papers--- okay, I'm a dork, but that's okay with me. I really enjoy consuming information and formulating ideas, comparisons, or whatever.
24. Being hyper, and as I informed Ms. Greenwalt (and a few other students), it doesn't make me immature...just happy and energetic and/or excited...there is a difference. (suprisingly, she agreed! haha)
25. the news...i feel so informed and well-rounded...plus, I learn a lot (mad props to CNN, MSNBC, our local news stations, and the NY Times)
26. Duke Bball, even though we're losing players to the NBA...
27. Crest toothpaste...yeah, that's random, but oh well
28. my Saucony running shoes...I heart them sooooo much
29. one thing that makes me happy is the idea that I can effect change in the world--- I have the power...it sounds trite...but it means so much to me that I can have a lasting impact on the world--- I don't have to be a vapor that comes and leaves...I can be something. I can be the one who finds a cure for cancer...or AIDs, or who helps save lives in other ways...someone who impacts the world, echoing change and betterment long after I leave...that would be awesome. The idea itself makes me happy...I can't imagine the feeling of actually accomplishing that...wow. How amazing.
30. the prospect of going to college and getting married, and getting a job, and having kids, and growing old together with the man I marry...the future in general makes me happy

So there it is...it's blah and just a bunch of incoherent nonsense, so I promise to come back with something more next time...something of substance with importance or pertinance in your life...maybe (but probably not, but i'll try none the less)

Wow. Here I am and I don't know how to put into words what I'm thinking and feeling. To be honest, I'm really sad. Ms. Greenwalt is, as many of you know, moving to Boston this summer. In fact, she's loading today. Wow, that came unexpectedly ... at least for me. The two of us (Ms. G and I) had been putting off saying goodbye because we both figured she would stay through most of the summer and we would get to say goodbye in July at church. Well, she's loading today, (as I said earlier) and it doesn't look like she's coming to church on Sunday. I'm upset and relieved at the same time...funny, huh? I am going to miss her terribly, and I really wanted to say goodbye, but in her email she said, "Maybe it's better to have no official goodbye...just, see you soon." I knew that it would hurt to say goodbye, but it hurts this way too. Of course, she's stressed with the move, closing, etc. So, for now, we've said "see you later" and hopefully, I will [see her later, I mean]. I'm sure she'll be back next spring for graduation, but that's a long way off. I will miss her dearly, of course, but maybe it's less painful to have an open-ended farewell, (which may actually be no farewell at all), and less painful to not have a final chapter...there's much time left.

In other news...A toddler was abandoned in Washington state on Monday night. He is said to be in good health--- warm, recently fed, and well-cared for. He was left in the stairwell of a church. The person who abandoned him sat on the stairs with him until he fell asleep...and then left. No one has reported a missing child, and police do not yet know to whom the child belongs. And no one seems to be able to get the child to talk. I can't sit in judgement here...there may have been extenuating circumstances or major problems that we can only guess at or imagine. I hope, I really do hope, that whoever left this child had a good reason for doing so.

Not much to post about. Same ol' same ol'. VBS was this week. I was in the three-year-old room, helping out. I love my Riley and my Sam (actually I heart all the kids in that class, but those two in particular). Apparently they both go home at night and talk about me. They are soooo sweet. Tonight's the "closing" ceremony. (even though we still have another day of VBS tomorrow/friday). All the kids will sing, dance or do a skit for their parents/families. Of course, my kids will likely just stand on-stage and do the hand motions for the songs. They haven't figured out the singing thing yet. Oh well. After VBS ended today, the church treated all the youth helpers to lunch at Fuddruckers, which was fun. Megan (she works at CHBC, and she's soooo sweet) drove me to Fuddruckers, and emphatically informed me that I am a nut. Okay, I guess I can't deny it any longer. I am a NUT. We had fun, though. Tomorrow's the last day of VBS...*tears* I'll miss my three-year-olds for sure!
I finally met Carlye's baby, Elisha Stephen Dash Daugird! YAY. He's sooo cute.

At the end of July (more specifically July 28-August 1) I'll be in D.C. looking at colleges! (Georgetown, George Washington University, and American U). I'm excited. I think the prospect of living in D.C. (or M.A. or N.Y.) is very, very exciting and a wonderful opportunity. Those are the other two places I'd like to live, if not in NC or VA (which would be okay, but the climate is just getting to be a bore). I am looking at Northeastern University and Boston University, in MA; and I'm looking at a few colleges in NY. It's very much still a scary process, but it's exciting at the same time. Of course, I still have college apps and essays looming ominously over my head, as well as my second go-round with the SAT, though I think I did fine on it the first time. However, no one seems to be able to tell me what a "good" score is for applying to college.

If anyone has a good idea for a column topic, tell me. I want to write a regular column in the school paper this year, but I don't know what to write about.

More later. Time for the closing ceremony now.

NOT GUILTY ON ALL TEN COUNTS! I can't decide whether that has restored or destroyed my faith in our judicial system? I guess I should have followed the case more closely. Anyway, enjoy this.

I really really want to travel the world. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Here's my list...

Top 5 Places I want to see for purely tourist reasons
(in no particular order, and of course I'm not going anytime soon)
1. Greece
2. Australia
3. Spain
4. France
5. Italy
(European continent- and Australia-, here I come...only not)
Coming in, in the top ten to finish off the list:
6. Brazil
7. Switzerland
8. China
9. Egypt
10. Israel
(and I guess Germany gets to be number 11)
Top 5 places I want to go on my quest to make a difference in this world:
1. Ethiopia
2. Sudan
3. Phillipines
4. Honduras
5. India

And the top 3 things I want to do in my life (other than get married, have kids, graduate college, get a job that makes me happy, and run a marathon):
1. Affect change (through politics or diplomacy, curing AIDS or cancer, ending world hunger, creating peace; I don't care, as long as I have a positive impact on the world)
2. Finish and publish a novel (not necessarily the one I started already)
3. Travel
That sounds stupid doesn't it? That my top three things include publishing a book that no one'll read, and traveling. How selfish. Well, I guess if you break down all the things I think I'd like to do to affect change...no not really. Still selfish. I guess I'd really just like to feel like I've had some influence on the world that has made it easier/better for the next generation. I don't want a utopian society, by any means. Some pain and suffering does induce growth, which is good. It's the unnecessary pain and the endless hurt that I want to alleviate. Maybe someday...

This is more of an amuzing story, than anything else.
So today, I was washing my face with some sort of astringent...made by the company Sea Breeze. Anyway, about five minutes later, my dad asks me why my face is so red. I look in the mirror and it looks like I have a really, really, breally bad sunburn, only I haven't been out in the sun in a long time (at least not for a prolonged period of time). Well, it isn't going away, apparently, and instead, I have a red face, with white splotches where I didn't actually clean. So, I look like a freak, and I can't get it to go away. I've researched the product and none of the ingredients should have caused this...good times. If you have a remedy, it's much appreciated! :)

I'm not sure anyone still reads this, but I still like to update occassionally. Lately, life has seemed pretty hectic; I've had two AP exams (U.S. History and English) and I took the SAT. Plus I gave my presentation in Topics today. It was on the roles of communism, outside influences, and nationalism on the rise/fall of the Berlin Wall vs. the roles of the three aforementioned things on the Korean DMZ. I had told Ms. G that I needed lots of time, but the person who went before me today took more than his share of the time, so I had to rush through to be sure I covered all the info before class ended. So I'm worried I won't get a good grade. Not really my fault, though...
This week is teacher appreciation week, and tonight I made "dessert plates" for each of my teachers--- each plate has 2 choc chip cookies, 2 turtle brownies, 2 lemon squares and 2 7-layer bars...I wish I was a teacher! haha.

I've been thinking about college a lot lately, and a lot more about how much I'm gonna miss the people who are leaving RCHS this year---seniors and teachers. Plus, of course I still have to decide where to apply to college, where to go if I get in anywhere, and what to major in, what job to take, whether to go to graduate school, etc. In case you can't tell, I like having a plan for my life.
As for next year's extracurriculars, it looks like sports will be out of the question, which makes me sad. So far, my activities for next year are Senior Class Sec., SLA, Editor of The Flame, Prez of Environmental Club, Co-Prez of RCCF, and hopefully I'll be able to start a Mock-Trial group at school. *cross fingers* People are bugging me to join key club and women's issues club, and I definitely miss doing quiz bowl, but I'm feeling a little overcommitted. UVA and UNC-CH are still at the top of my college list, but my mom has her own list: Meredith, Salem, Randolf-Macon Women's College, Agnes-Scott. My dad wants me to go out-of-state, but he favors Bryan College mostly. I wish they didn't get a say, because if I choose a college from one of their lists, then the other person will be mad at me.

Teachers leaving after this year: Greenwalt, Tranquillo, Caudill, Lachance (that's all I'm sure of, but I know there are others...)

The future is a funny thing I think. Everything up until next year will be planned for me--- where to live, where to go to school, etc. But suddenly, after high school, my future is in my hands...and that really, really scares me. What if I screw up? What if I don't go the right college? Or the right grad school? Or get the right job? Or marry the right person? This scares me a lot. Whereas in the past, I have had no choice which direction to go...now every decision is mostly mine. MINE. What a scary, scray thought.

I should write but I'm sooo busy. I have the scrapbook to do, AP Exams, the SAT, SAT IIs, finals, end-of-the-year projects, and I got a job today...plus campaigning for senior class secretary and rep.

Never a dull moment.

I don't think anyone still reads this, but it's fun to write anyway...
Life is crazy busy and stressful right now. It's like a million emotions all stacked up, and suddenly they finally start tumbling down and you realize you weren't made to handle all of this. I always imagined I would be excited, thrilled, ecstatic to get out of the house and go to college, but lately, instead of dreaming of it, I've been worrying about it more and more. Partly because I don't want to leave home, but that's really not going to be the hard part. Mostly, I'm scared of the future. That sounds nuts, I know. It's just that I'm afraid I'll screw up--- pick the wrong school, major in the wrong subject--- and ruin my future...then I won't get a good job or go to grad school, I won't marry a good guy, I won't have kids, etc. It's a weird anxiety that I can't seem to shake...oh well.
UVA, UNC-CH and Meredith are still my top three, and I don't see them changing...at least not now. UVA because it's humanities department is the coolest, and that's 1/2 of my planned majors. UNC-CH because...well, it's a good school, and I think I would enjoy going to school there. Meredith is smaller than the other two, with no boys (not sure how I feel about that...) but I'll decide more after Ms. Talley takes me to look at it. Of all of them, UVA has the prettiest campus. And UNC gets a plus for being near my church. I haven't really looked into the Spanish departments of any of them, but I need to. I want to major in history and spanish, and then I want to teach, so probably a Bachelor's in Secondary Ed. I'm thinking of teaching for two years, and then going to med school. It'll be most-excellent (<-- that's a Marsha-ism). I don't know yet, though.
I miss Chile. I find myself zoning out of discussions, conversations, reading, whatever, and thinking of Chile. It consumes my thoughts and my life, really. I can't say that it'll always be so special to me--- I've never been to another country, (other than Canada), so I guess my infatuation is in large part due to the newness of being outside the U.S., and not so much the beauty or charm of the country itself, or at least, that's what people keep telling me...I doubt it. I want to work with Doctors without Borders or the Mercy Corps...maybe in Chile, but first I want to cure AIDS and Cancer.
Back to emotions...Last year I felt this deep saddness when the senior class graduated, because I had known them for two years. But I'm finding that this year will be all the harder...And saying goodbye to the teachers that are leaving will be hard too. So far, I know Ms. Tranquillo and Ms. Greenwalt are leaving. Boo. (<-- that's a Maggie-ism.)
And trying to find a job for the summer is impossible. Too many adults are unemployed, so there's a lack of need for teens in the workplace...no bueno. I've applied at JiffyLube...wouldn't it be funny for me to work there??? :)

Last night I realized just how much I miss Chile--- and everyone there.
Juan, Orlando, and the other teachers at the Gaia School have MSN Messenger (the hotmail version of AIM), so I downloaded it in order to be able to talk to them. Well, Orlando and Juan got on around the same time, and they start IM-ing me. It was sooo nice to know I was talking to them (even if I occassionally cheated and used an online translator to figure out what they were saying...) and then they both surprised me with the fact that both of them had a web camera. So not only was I talking to two of the 6 people I miss dearly, but I got to SEE them too. Sure, it was only a digital image, but it was them, moving, breathing nonetheless. :) They waved to me, and being the idiot I am, I tried to wave back--- which would've worked, 'cept I don't have a web cam, so they couldn't see me.

I'm trying to go back to Chile for three weeks this summer. I'm working on finding and earning the money I need. I know it's crazy that the only country I've ever been to out of the U.S. is the one I wanna live in--- nope, I don't really care to see the rest of the world. Course, it would be nice, but Chile is all I need. And at some point, I'd like to visit the University of Santiago, because some part (if not all) of my college career is going to be spent there...barring the admissions process 'n such. But again, that needs to be added on to a time when I'm down there--- I am NOT paying the airline prices just to visit a college...seems a little silly, especially since Expedia now has its lowest prices (for roundtrip to Santiago) at about $1200...WOW.

Greenwalt's Scrapbook--- yeah, needs to be worked on...in fact, I'm gonna go do that now. Later. More Chile stories to come, I promise.

Chile.

Wow. Amazing. Incredible. Once-in-a-lifetime. Beautiful. Breath-taking. Wow.

Chile was awesome. We had fun on the plane up there--- even though I got to sit next to Slattery and mom on both the flights down to Santiago. We arrived like two hours later than scheduled. Once down there, Roberto and Juan greeted us at the airport, immediately talking to me (since they knew me from last year) in Spanish. (yeah, that threw me off at first). The Tampa Prep kids, Birmingham kids and RCHS kids all boarded two buses. I was under the impression on our two and a half hour ride to Olmue that Robert thinks highly of me...he was already calling me "hija mia" (my daughter) before we had been on the bus an hour. We headed to that quiet, little village called Olmue. Such a peaceful place (until all the villagers decide to celebrate Easter by getting drunk and smoking pot-- and talking on non-existent cell phones, don't ask). But it was fun. We toured El Copihue, the five-star hotel where we stayed. The first day was mostly a tour of the hotel area and of the surrounding village/town.
The second day, we went to an island to see penguins! Mucho fun! lol. We rode little itty-bitty boats out in the ocean, and around an island inhabited by penguins and protected by the government. Then we headed for the beach nearby where we played soccer, football and swam in the ocean. It's gorgeous. Wow.
The following day, we went camping in the Andes. Marsha can tell you all about La Montana. She and a few others went up the moutain, following animal trails. (Meanwhile, I'm swimming in the muddiest lake on earth and helping cook dinner). Apparently the mountain's plants were all thorns that looked like harmless bushes... so Marsha, Grant, Josh, Harry and a few others came back bleeding all over from the prickly enemy they encountered along the way. We were camping in some type of cow pasture because there was "caca de vaca" everywhere. Oh yeah, good times. I helped fix and serve dinner, which consisted of steak, hot-dog-type-things (choripan), salad, potatoes, fruit, chicken, and some type of vegetable/potatoe salad with mayonaise thing... Of course, there was no bathroom to speak of, no running water, and other such luxuries, but we had the greatest time. Rob and Juan had set up tents and brought stools for everyone. I helped wash up the dishes after dinner, and then Poala (co-founder of the Gaia School), Julie, Lane and I played "Guess That Person" in Spanish. (A non-english version of 20 questions). We built a massive bonfire and hung out for a while. Then it was time to go to bed, and I put my sleeping bag out next to the bonfire which by this time was dwindling. That was only after Rob put rocks around the perimeter to ensure our safety while we slept. In the morning, I ended up helping cook/serve breakfast, which consisted of eggs, more steak, fruit, bread and cereal). Then we had free time for a while, before playing games. We played- find the plastic spoon in the middle of a forest; retrieve your torch from the top of a hill, and cross-dressing. Lunch was sandwiches, so there was little to prepare. After that, we cleaned up camp and headed by to El Copihue. We had been placed in classes based on our Spanish ability a few days before--- I was in advanced. Fun stuff.

There's SOOOO MUCH MORE to tell, but I am exhausted after being on a plane/in airports for 12 hours. But I'll leave you with some funny quotes from Chile:

"Chile is a cross between Johnston County and the O.C., divided by friendly-looking mountains that really have prickly plants." -Marsha, 3-21-05

"I think I just pulled half a tree out of my pants." -Marsha 3-20-05

"Quesodillas son una mezcla de queso y pesadillas." -Paola 3-20-05 (Translated: Quesodillas are a mix of cheese and nightmares.)

Me: Why are there so many dogs running around Chile?
Mr. Slattery: The Catholic Church

"Super-mega-bacan." -Everyone said it at some point. "Bacan" = "cool"

"Five naked people, in my bed, smoking crack." -Someone, who shall remain nameless (only, none of that actually happened...) <-- but I agree, it was the prank to beat all pranks.

Mr. Slattery: Go pick up all the caca and put it in the trash.
Kit: But Mr. Slattery, you're too big to pick up.

Me: Habla con la mano.
Mr. Slattery: Es mejor como tu cara.
(Translation: Me: Talk to the hand. Mr. Slattery: It's better than your face.)

More to come! And pictures too!

Chile.

Wow. Amazing. Incredible. Once-in-a-lifetime. Beautiful. Breath-taking. Wow.

Chile was awesome. We had fun on the plane up there--- even though I got to sit next to Slattery and mom on both the flights down to Santiago. We arrived like two hours later than scheduled. Once down there, Roberto and Juan greeted us at the airport, immediately talking to me (since they knew me from last year) in Spanish. (yeah, that threw me off at first). The Tampa Prep kids, Birmingham kids and RCHS kids all boarded two buses. I was under the impression on our two and a half hour ride to Olmue that Robert thinks highly of me...he was already calling me "hija mia" (my daughter) before we had been on the bus an hour. We headed to that quiet, little village called Olmue. Such a peaceful place (until all the villagers decide to celebrate Easter by getting drunk and smoking pot-- and talking on non-existent cell phones, don't ask). But it was fun. We toured El Copihue, the five-star hotel where we stayed. The first day was mostly a tour of the hotel area and of the surrounding village/town.
The second day, we went to an island to see penguins! Mucho fun! lol. We rode little itty-bitty boats out in the ocean, and around an island inhabited by penguins and protected by the government. Then we headed for the beach nearby where we played soccer, football and swam in the ocean. It's gorgeous. Wow.
The following day, we went camping in the Andes. Marsha can tell you all about La Montana. She and a few others went up the moutain, following animal trails. (Meanwhile, I'm swimming in the muddiest lake on earth and helping cook dinner). Apparently the mountain's plants were all thorns that looked like harmless bushes... so Marsha, Grant, Josh, Harry and a few others came back bleeding all over from the prickly enemy they encountered along the way. We were camping in some type of cow pasture because there was "caca de vaca" everywhere. Oh yeah, good times. I helped fix and serve dinner, which consisted of steak, hot-dog-type-things (choripan), salad, potatoes, fruit, chicken, and some type of vegetable/potatoe salad with mayonaise thing... Of course, there was no bathroom to speak of, no running water, and other such luxuries, but we had the greatest time. Rob and Juan had set up tents and brought stools for everyone. I helped wash up the dishes after dinner, and then Poala (co-founder of the Gaia School), Julie, Lane and I played "Guess That Person" in Spanish. (A non-english version of 20 questions). We built a massive bonfire and hung out for a while. Then it was time to go to bed, and I put my sleeping bag out next to the bonfire which by this time was dwindling. That was only after Rob put rocks around the perimeter to ensure our safety while we slept. In the morning, I ended up helping cook/serve breakfast, which consisted of eggs, more steak, fruit, bread and cereal). Then we had free time for a while, before playing games. We played- find the plastic spoon in the middle of a forest; retrieve your torch from the top of a hill, and cross-dressing. Lunch was sandwiches, so there was little to prepare. After that, we cleaned up camp and headed by to El Copihue. We had been placed in classes based on our Spanish ability a few days before--- I was in advanced. Fun stuff.

There's SOOOO MUCH MORE to tell, but I am exhausted after being on a plane/in airports for 12 hours. But I'll leave you with some funny quotes from Chile:

"Chile is a cross between Johnston County and the O.C., divided by friendly-looking mountains that really have prickly plants." -Marsha, 3-21-05

"I think I just pulled half a tree out of my pants." -Marsha 3-20-05

"Quesodillas son una mezcla de queso y pesadillas." -Paola 3-20-05 (Translated: Quesodillas are a mix of cheese and nightmares.)

Me: Why are there so many dogs running around Chile?
Mr. Slattery: The Catholic Church

"Super-mega-bacan." -Everyone said it at some point. "Bacan" = "cool"

"Five naked people, in my bed, smoking crack." -Someone, who shall remain nameless (only, none of that actually happened...) <-- but I agree, it was the prank to beat all pranks.

Mr. Slattery: Go pick up all the caca and put it in the trash.
Kit: But Mr. Slattery, you're too big to pick up.

Me: Habla con la mano.
Mr. Slattery: Es mejor como tu cara.
(Translation: Me: Talk to the hand. Mr. Slattery: It's better than your face.)

More to come! And pictures too!

Well, I'm blogging again. It's sporadic, I know. I apologize to any of you who happen to still read this (which I would guess is about 1)

Anywayz,
I leave for Chile in 1 week! Wow I am soooo excited. IM me your address if you would like a postcard! :)

Ms. Greenwalt is leaving, but we're making her a scrapbook of pictures and such of the teachers, school, classrooms, students, clubs, etc. I'm excited about that b/c I love to scrapbook. But shush! It's a secret! No telling her!

SLA went wonderfully, and I had breakfast with Maggie, Alyson and Rachel before hand. We went to IHOP where I had their french toast (excuse me Freedom Toast. lol) It was really yummy.

I signed up for classes for next year, and I feel like a slacker, only taking three AP classes, plus one advanced one that I'll take for AP credit:
1. Adv. Statistics
2. AP European History
3. Constitutional Issues (it's advanced level and a brand-new, debate style class--- my kinda thing!)
4. Adv. Psychology (but I'm taking it for AP credit)
5. AP English 4
6. AP Spanish

On Flex day, I took an Advanced-Level Spanish Convesation Class at NCSU. It was a 6th semester class-- (junior year???)-- and it was way easy, so I'm hoping that's what Spanish will be like for me in college!

I've embarked on the infamous college search, which right now consists of three main colleges
-Meredith College
- UVA
- UNC-CH
though I am sure I will look at others before I start applying. I've heard only good things about each of these, so that makes me feel a little better.

I have also begun the tiring search for a prom dress. It's impossible. Bleh. Not that I have a date, or ticket, or plans for prom night yet, but never to early to start shopping, considering I'm probably the only girl on the face of the planet who HATES shopping.

In our "bible study"/ Raleigh Charter Christian Fellowship today, we had a guest speaker who spoke about the Second Coming of Christ. He made it sound like it could be tomorrow. It was exciting but also really kind of scary. I mean, I have that feeling of "just a little more time...let me finish up here." I thought that would be normal, or whatever, but everyone who was there thought I was weird for thinking that. I mean, I know Jesus says that he who loves his life will lose it, but it's the unknowing of how much more time I will have to do things, witness, goof off, and do other things that I always figured I would do first. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to go to Heaven and see how awesome it is, butI have A LOT of friends and family who would be left behind if the Rapture occurred tomorrow. I guess I really don't want them to go through the seven years of turmoil and horrible things that happen if you don't get taken the first time, before Christ sets up the eternal reign on Earth. Anyway, that's just my little thought for the day. I never gave it much thought in terms of it happening in my lifetime, much less my childhood. Like, I knew it was going to happen because that's what the prophecy says. But I never figured, oh, well I guess all the stuff that's supposed to lead up to it has already happened (which I'm not sure it has... that's unclear to me), so it must be about to happen.
But I think that's part of the idea-- if we all knew when Jesus would return, we would do everything to prepare, which isn't really the point. We should be ready regardless of when it happens, and desire to further God's purpose while we are still here.

Nothing new, really.

Track has started. :)
I'm very busy with two research papers.
I'm looking for a summer job.
Ms. Greenwalt isn't coming back to RCHS next year, and I'm sad. :(
The winter formal is in a week.
I have to start looking at colleges this spring, according to my mom.
I like UNC-CH and UVA.
The trip to Chile is in 1 month.
Student Legislative Assembly-- day where we debate bills--1 week!
The yearbook is almost done!
That's about it.


I'm going to leave you with a poem that I really like.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
-J.R.R. Tolkien

Here's my first attempt at a short story. It's called Gift of Grace. Comments are welcome!

Stepping off the small jet, our group surveyed the scene around us. We were on a mission trip in Sri Lanka after the tsunami disaster. The entire community was decimated, to the point of nonexistence.
Trees had been unanchored when their roots were washed away in the waves. Houses no longer loomed tall and proud, but lay in pieces, littering the ground. People walked along the broken roads, without shoes. Most seemed lonely and lost, as if they were sauntering through a nightmare, trying hard not to believe that this was real. Everything they owned had been swept away with the raging waters.
One local man noticed us and shouted in his native tongue. Suddenly hoards of people were rushing towards us, looks of hope in their eyes. They waved their hands and grabbed at the supplies we had for them.
My friend Jamie and I handed out bottles of water and medical kits. Everything we gave away was something I took for granted: band-aids, clean water, combs, toothpaste. These people had so little, were grateful to receive; we were so fortunate, with open hearts and an abundance to give.
We camped that night just outside a small village. In tents, with sleeping bags and rolled up sweatshirts for pillows, we would have been called rich by the people we had met during the day. The following day, we would visit a local orphanage that was established to house children who lost both parents in the devastating tsunami.
We rose early the next morning, bathing in a nearby river. We had a team meeting, where we were prepped for what we would experience. Then we gathered in a circle, held hands and I led the group in a prayer:
“Father, we come here, not to serve ourselves, but to serve You, Lord. We come that we will be humbled and more grateful for the blessings you have bestowed upon our lives. We pray for the people of Sri Lanka and of the other affected areas, that they would experience hope in You, Lord. I pray also Lord that we would be instruments of Your will, Lord, serving Your purpose. In the words of St. Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love: where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
I continued, “Give us strength today Lord. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.”
We opened our eyes and headed off to the orphanage. The infrastructure in the country had been completely destroyed and so our van was useless. But we set off on foot, without complaint.
We arrived at the orphanage an hour later to find about two hundred children flooding the corridors and small bunking quarters. They all rushed up to us, eager to see foreigners. They began talking rapidly in their language, smiling the entire time.
One little girl stood out to me. Her hair was tangled and hung around her shoulders. Her dress was probably very nice before the tsunami, but she had been wearing it now for months. Its grungy, grayish tinge lent no contrast to her dirty face. The striking thing about her was that her skin pigment was not like that of the other children. She was very clearly Caucasian, even beneath the dust. I walked over to her, where she sat in a corner of the room.
Her knees were pulled to her chest, where her chin rested on them. As I neared her, I realized there were tears on her cheeks, washing away the dirt in crooked streaks. I waved to her from about five feet away, in an attempt to see if my presence was welcome.
“Hi,” she said quietly, sniffling. I stopped cold. She spoke English.
Trying to hide my shock, I responded, “Hi. My name’s Audrey.”
“Mine’s Grace,” she told me, avoiding eye contact. “Are you from America?” She asked, now tracing an imaginary line on her knee with her index finger.
“Yep,” I said. “I’m from North Carolina.” Her eyes found mine at the recognition of a familiar place.
“Me, too,” she said. She smiled, knowing we shared a bond. Her smile quickly faded and she looked down once more. I went over and sat down cross-legged next to her. The tears began to fall again, accompanied by quiet sobs.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, genuinely concerned.
She crawled into my lap, resting her dirty head against my chest. I stroked her hair. “Shhhh. It’s okay.”
She sat back and looked at me, wondering if she could trust me. “My mommy and daddy got washed away when the big wave came. They didn’t know how to swim. That’s why they put me in swim lessons last summer, so I would know.” She paused, awaiting a reaction. I didn’t have one.
She sighed. “They’re in Heaven now, right?”
I smiled and nodded. The wave of comfort that washed over her was apparent on her face, in her eyes. “Grace,” I said, “Were you and your parents on vacation here?”
“Nope,” she said. “They were here with the church. We were supposed to leave in February because that’s when my birthday is. I was going to have a princess party at home. I can’t wait!”
It was March. I smiled at her. “That sounds like fun.” She was satisfied and hurried off to play with the other children.
One of the caregivers came over to me. “Want to take her back with you?” She asked. I almost laughed at the idea. “I’m serious,” she told me. “There are hundreds more children who are homeless and need a place to sleep. She has a U.S. citizenship; she’s free to go back to the U.S. whenever someone takes her.”
“You mean like adopt her?” I asked, my interest mounting. At twenty-six, I was married, and had a wonderful job teaching high school.
“You would fill out adoption papers upon your return to the States. She has no living relatives, to our knowledge.” She smiled and patted my shoulder. Before she turned to walk away, she added, “A real sweet girl. She needs a real good home.”
I went through the mental checklist. My husband’s and my incomes could support a child. We had been unable but very much wanting to have children. We had an extra bedroom in our house.
Grace came running over to me, beaming. In her hand was a picture she had drawn. She held it up for me. “This is me,” she told me, pointing to the smaller figure on the page. “And this is you,” she explained, pointing to the taller figure. The two people in the picture were holding hands, and there was a heart scribbled above their heads.
“That’s a beautiful picture, honey.” She beamed all the more. “Grace, would you like to come live with me?”
“You mean in the American states?” She asked.
“Yes, sweetheart. I was wondering if you wanted to come back to North Carolina with me and live with my husband and me.”
She nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes, yes.” She leaned forward to hug me, when she suddenly stopped. “But wait. No. I can’t.” She shook her head and looked at me. “Sorry.”
“Why not, Grace?”
“Because my mommy and daddy would be sad that I called someone else mommy and daddy.”
“You don’t have to call us Mommy and Daddy. You can call us Audrey and Ben or whatever you like. We just want to give you a home and a princess party. You will go back to school and have new clothes and---”
She cut me off. “Okay, I want to then. But can we go to church?” I nodded. She hugged me and from that moment on, she followed me wherever I went, watching me closely.
Grace lives with my husband and me now. She loves her new school and had a princess party. She wakes up most nights screaming after a nightmare. The nightmares she describes to us are of people being washed away by “giant waves. They can’t swim,” she tells us. Grace loves to play at the park, but she won’t go near the lake. Her wounds will be tender for a long time, but the family we have begun to build together is a strong one. There is a lot of love in our household, and my husband and I thank God every day for the gift of Grace in our lives.